Endgame
by FicreaderT
Summary: I believe Steve and Catherine are endgame, despite all that's happened between them. But there are bound to be some bumps in the road to their happy-ever-after. Post-season 7/pre-season 8.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I've been tossing an idea around in my head for a while, ever since I watched episode 7.07 last fall and started seeing parallels with another one of my favorite TV couples. I believe Steve and Catherine are meant to be together and would love to see them end up that way. This is how I think it might happen. There will be a little bit of foul language thrown in here or there, I hope it won't offend anybody._

 _All of the situations and dialogue you recognize from the show belong to the genius of Five-0's writers, producers, directors and cast. I can only take credit for everything else._

 _Although I have obsessively read and re-read this I'm definitely not perfect so I'm sure you will find mistakes which are all my own and for which I apologize in advance. I've spent months working on this, and hope it will be worth the ridiculous number of hours I've devoted to it because I think it's a great story. It's basically finished and there won't be too long between updates because I hope to have it published in its entirety before the season 8 premiere. I know there will be new teammates added this coming season but I don't want to try to write them so they'll only be alluded to in this fic._

 _Thanks to everyone who has read and especially those who have reviewed my previous stories. I hope this one doesn't disappoint!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 1

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **Monday in mid-May, 1600 hours**

Steve was restless. He was laid out on the recliner in his living room, trying to shut off his mind so he could rest. His symptoms from Radiation Sickness had lessened, but his stamina had taken a hard hit and a series of long days and little sleep had left him feeling exhausted. He'd left work early, at his partner's insistence, and Danny had stopped by with Charlie after picking the boy up from school. He'd claimed a desire to check up on Steve and had easily observed the man in question was not looking any better so they'd stayed only for a short visit before the blonde had all but ordered his partner to get some sleep.

And Steve was trying. So very hard. But he just couldn't stop the train of thoughts that was running through his head; reminding him repeatedly that he was getting older and was going to wind up alone.

He had sacrificed so much for his government, his country, the people he was protecting. And for most of his life he did it gladly, not minding the sacrifice, because it was all about the job. But with his body betraying him more and more, eventually he wouldn't have the job to fall back on, and what would be left?

Danny had a legacy in his children, Grace and Charlie, and was an amazing father who had shown time and again that he would do anything for his kids. And Steve loved Danny's kids like they were his own. He loved being their 'Uncle Steve', and spending time with them.

Except lately being around Danny's young son tugged at his heartstrings and he was realizing he might have some regret that he never took the time to start a family of his own. It was probably too late now. Even if he started tomorrow he wasn't sure he'd be able to step back from work enough to commit to parenting the way it should be done.

And it wasn't like he didn't have anyone - his teammates and their families were his 'ohana. Chin-Ho along with his girlfriend Abby and adopted daughter Sara, Kono and her husband Adam, Lou along with his wife Renee and their children Samantha & Will were all a large and important part of his life.

But while the rest of his team got to go home to their loved ones at the end of the day, he went home alone. But that hadn't always been the case – he'd basically lived with Catherine, the love of his life, until she broke his heart for the second time two years before.

He'd tried to move on. He'd been dating a woman, Lynn, for about a year and a half. He enjoyed spending time with her but hadn't been able to get too serious because he still wasn't over Catherine. Despite everything that had happened between them and all the time that has passed, it was still only his lieutenant that he'd ever pictured himself coming home to every night.

And he'd been thinking about that more often recently, as he'd become acutely aware of how empty his house really was. Maybe it was because he'd been spending so much time there convalescing, but he was starting to long for something more. Something he feared he'd never have.

Frustrated, he rose and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. Leaning against the counter he realized he wasn't going to be able to rest unless he could derail his train of thought so he popped a couple Tylenol for the ache in his head and headed out to the garage to work on the Marquis. He decided getting down under the car was more than his body could handle, but he figured he could sit on a stool and tinker with the engine.

He went to retrieve his tools but was missing a socket wrench and, looking around, realized his garage was kind of a mess. _When did that happen?_ He sat heavily on the stool he'd set out and dropped his forehead into his hand. He'd allow just a few moments of self-pity before once again marshalling the strength to just get it done.

As he sat hunched his eyes lit on his father's old tool box, the 'champ' box. After a few moments of quiet contemplation, he rose from the stool and walked the six feet to stand in front of it. He stared at it for a moment before lifting the lid with both hands, reaching in and removing a small box. He opened the lid and gazed at the sparkling diamond that he'd bought with intent to propose to Catherine.

But she had left before he ever got the chance and despite having his heart broken by her, twice, he hadn't been able to let the ring go. Wanting it close, he'd kept it in a drawer in his dresser until Lynn had come across it months earlier. She'd been angry and upset, feeling he hadn't been honest with her about the depth of his feelings for his ex. And he'd realized he should get rid of the ring, but had been unable to part with it so he'd moved it to the garage where it wouldn't be accidentally discovered again.

And now as he looked at is he remembered the day he'd planned to give it to Catherine. The very same day he'd arrived home and found her sitting on the porch, bag packed and ready to go.

* * *

 _"I'm sorry." She told him, her eyes wet._

 _"You just got here."_

 _"Look, Steve, it's not that I don't love you. I do. But I have to go away for a little bit."_

 _He crossed his arms as if it would somehow make it hurt less. "How long?"_

 _"The truth is, I don't really know."_

 _He just looked at her, unable to believe what was happening. He was finally ready to make his commitment to her official, to propose marriage and promise to spend the rest of his life making her happy. He had a fricking engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket, for heaven's sake, and she was just… leaving._

 _"This is so hard." She inhaled sharply, and couldn't look at him. "I need more than what a relationship can give me right now."_

 _He couldn't believe what he was hearing; she'd seemed happy and he wondered where was this coming from. But none of that mattered to him at the moment because he didn't want to lose her and part of him was willing to do what it took to keep her in his life._

 _"Okay," he asked. "What do you want?"_

 _"To feel needed," She said, crying._

 _"You are." He admitted._

 _"No, not like that. See, when your phone rings someone needs you. Okay? And you can help them. And I want to feel that."_

 _He uncrossed his arms and gestured. "So, come back to Five-0."_

 _"No. Steve, Five-0 is you. It's always gonna be your thing, okay? I need to build something on my own."_

 _He took a measured breath in and blew it out before moving to sit next to her on the porch, close enough for their arms to touch._

 _He sighed. "So, you're going back to Afghanistan?"_

 _"No, Nepal." She looked over at him. "That earthquake hit them hard. I'm going to be running helidrops for the Red Cross. Getting those supplies to people who need it the most is where I can…_ _ **I**_ _can make a difference."_

 _"All right, well, that's a two-month op at most," he said, willing to wait for her if necessary to make their relationship work. He could handle a couple months apart, they'd done it for years._

 _"Could be more." She said, noncommittally, and he started to wonder if she was trying to break it off. He didn't want to believe it but…_

 _"You know, Catherine, if you want out of this thing," he turned to face her, knowing his eyes were wet with unshed tears, "why don't you just look me in the eye and tell me you want out of this thing?"_

 _She shook her head, resignedly and her bottom lip trembled. "If I could be at two places at once at the same time," she said, her voice breaking, "I would."_

 _"Yeah, but you can't Catherine. And, and you're choosing the place where I'm not. I mean…" He couldn't finish for fear his emotions would take over. He looked up at the sky, pursing his lips, trying to regain control over what he was feeling. He heard her sniffle and saw her wipe her eyes. He didn't understand why she seemed upset when she was bringing this on herself – why she wouldn't just choose to stay if she loved him as much as she claimed to. But maybe she didn't. And suddenly, he knew what he had to do. "Listen. If you leave today," he told her, "I can't… I can't wait for you. Not anymore."_

 _She nodded, tears leaking from her eyes._

 _"You understand?" He asked her, not able to believe she wasn't choosing to stay._

 _She nodded and sighed heavily. A sob escaped before she regained control and nodded again. She looked straight ahead while he watched her. "Yeah. I understand."_

 _And Steve knew that was it. It was over between them. He felt his heart breaking and part of him wanted nothing more than to crawl into her arms and let her comfort him. But the rest of him was no longer willing to reveal to her the depth of his pain. So, he slammed the door on his emotions and got down to business. "Okay, I'll drive you to the airport."_

 _"I already called for a ride," she told him and he noticed a black SUV approaching in the driveway. "I'd rather say goodbye to you here." She wiped at her eyes and rose, sniffling as she turned to face him and he stood as well._

 _"Come here." She pulled him into a hug and held him tight, sobbing on his shoulder._

 _And he put his arms around her, but not like he wanted to. He wanted to grab hold and never let go._

 _"I'm so sorry," she said into his chest, "I will always, always love you, okay?"_

 _She released him and turned to pick up her bag. 'I will always love you too', he thought as she walked away. But he couldn't watch her leave and looked anywhere but down the driveway until he heard the car door open and close. Only then did he turn and watch as the vehicle backed up and drove away._

 _"Aloha." He said to the retreating vehicle before pulling the jewelry box from his pocket, opening it and looking at the ring._

* * *

Steve clearly remembered how he had felt at that moment, almost two years earlier. She was the only woman he'd ever loved, the best thing that had ever happened to him.

She'd been part of his life for twelve years and now she was gone for good.

And he was broken.

He knew he would never be the same.

And he'd never expected to see her again.

But nine months later he'd been shocked to learn that she'd lied to him. She wasn't doing aid work in Nepal, she was with the CIA and been called out on a mission in Ukraine. And her life was in danger because of it. Saving her life was the only thing that mattered so he'd put aside the pain of her betrayal and done what needed to be done. But he was left feeling a bit unsettled because there was obviously more to the story that he would likely never know.

But she'd turned up at his house unexpectedly fourteen months later and suddenly he had a chance to finally get some answers. She'd enlisted his help to rescue his mother from a CIA black site so he'd accompanied her to Morocco and they'd had a long talk on the plane and he finally got some answers.

She'd confessed she hadn't wanted to lie to him but had been under orders to do so. And when she'd admitted that walking away from him was the hardest thing she'd ever done he'd realized her heart had also been broken. And that was when he first started to wonder if he had acted too rashly and made a mistake.

But she'd left him again, destined for a location he was not allowed to know. That goodbye, on a private runway in Morocco, had been different because they'd both gotten some semblance of closure. He gazed at the ring nestled in the box and shook his head slowly, remembering their last conversation and how she'd told him would have said 'yes' if he'd proposed.

He had gone over it so many times and still wasn't sure whether that knowledge made it better or worse. But it definitely made him regret even more all the times he took her for granted. All the years it took him to say those three words. Little, stupid, words.

What had he been afraid of? What it would mean? That admitting aloud how important she was to him would somehow put her at risk? He sighed.

He had only ever said it over the phone when she was halfway around the world. He'd never said it to her face, not even when she'd returned from Afghanistan. He had been going to tell her in his proposal. But he never got the chance. Once again, he'd waited too long.

He always thought she'd been okay with their relationship, that they'd been on the same page, and maybe they were for a long time when they were both on active duty and deployed all over the world. But circumstances had changed.

What if she'd wanted more? When she'd left him the last time she had told him a relationship with him wasn't enough, that she needed more. At the time, he'd taken her at her word. Then, when he'd learned she'd been ordered to lie he'd started to wonder how much of what she'd said had been her real feelings and how much had been part of the cover.

He still didn't know… but maybe it was time to try and find out.

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and would love some feedback. Chapter 2 should already be up and I plan regular updates going forward with the entire story posted before the new season starts on September 29th._


	2. Chapter 2

**Endgame  
** Chapter 2

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **Tuesday in mid-May, 0630 hours**

When Steve woke the morning after he'd stumbled on the engagement ring he'd purchased for Catherine but never had a chance to give her he was surprised at how well rested he felt, not just physically, but emotionally. He had lain awake for hours, reliving the good and bad memories that had flooded his mind until his body, weary from battling radiation sickness, had finally succumbed to sleep. But surprisingly when he woke he felt lighter and ready to move forward. First on the agenda was a swim, something he'd been neglecting the last few weeks since his symptoms had flared up.

As he cut through the waves with smooth strokes he had a few epiphanies. There was no denying that he was getting older, and his body was going to continue betraying him more and more. But he wasn't dead yet. Far from it. There was still time for him to get the most of whatever years he had left.

He recalled a conversation he'd had almost a year before when he'd been struggling to come to terms with all that happened surrounding a liver transplant that had been necessary to save his life. He'd wheeled himself down to the hospital chapel to be alone with his thoughts but instead found the room occupied by a stranger who welcomed Steve's company while his wife of 45 years was in surgery.

During the course of their conversation Steve had learned the older man had also been a police officer and was amazed that he'd managed to be a cop and hold down a marriage for 45 years.

"What's your secret?" he'd asked.

"No secret. I just met the right gal," the man had replied like it was just that simple.

But Steve had believed he'd had the right woman, for years, and it had been far from simple.

"What if I already met the right woman," he'd asked this near-stranger, "and, uh, I couldn't hang on to her?"

"Then she wasn't the right woman," the other man had replied with an absolute certainty.

"Yeah, see, I'm not so sure about that," Steve had said. Why was he so able to admit to this stranger something he had been having trouble admitting to himself? "Sometimes it feels like this job of mine has taken everything good from me. I've been wearing the badge for six years, and I'm really starting to wonder whether… whether any of it's worth it."

"Son," the man had told him gently, "what we do can't be quantified. Your worth is measured in the closure you bring, the people you save. That's your real legacy. And the best legacy a man can leave behind is the people whose lives he's changed. Trust me."

Steve had taken that stranger's words to heart and found some comfort in them. After all, he'd always believed the sacrifices were worth it, or else he couldn't have done what he'd done for so long. But why did it have to be one or the other? He missed his relationship with Catherine so much. He hadn't only lost the woman he loved, he'd lost his oldest friend. The person who knew a part of him he'd never shown to anyone else, even Danny. She was the only one he'd ever really let in, something he'd never admitted to anyone except a British spy he'd felt a kinship with after a joint operation a year before.

All those months ago he'd felt he had no chance of getting Catherine back. But now he realized he had let her go without a fight, and he was no longer okay with that.

Emerging from the water he relished the slightly sore muscles as he toweled off and made his way to the chairs by the beach. Even though he'd only been able to do about half of his usual distance it still felt great getting back in the ocean. He retrieved his phone from the small weathered table and sat with it for several minutes while he watched the water roll onto the beach, washing away the footprints he'd left in the sand just minutes before.

He looked down at the device in his hand, his thumb hovering over the number pad. He had deleted Catherine's contact from his phone but remembered the digits anyway. He typed the numbers in the proper order and felt a rush of sadness when the phone didn't recognize the number and automatically populate her name. He shook his head and added her back as a contact, relishing in how good that minor detail made him feel.

He had no idea whether Catherine's old number still worked but figured it was a good place to start. As he prepared to place the call he thought briefly about figuring the time difference but then remembered he had no idea where in the world she was. The call went to voicemail, but it was the standard computerized greeting so he left a simple, generic message, just in case. And even then, he'd fumbled it a bit.

"Hi, it's uh, it's Steve. Will you give me a call sometime? It's important, but not urgent, and I'm sure you're busy, but I'd really like to talk to you when you have a chance. So, will you? Uh, call, I mean? I hope to talk to you soon. Thanks."

* * *

 **Abandoned warehouse  
** **Following Monday, 1712 hours**

Steve had spent many hours agonizing after he'd finally left the message for Catherine because he realized he'd taken the first step and didn't exactly have a plan for the next one. What was he going to say when she called? Should he tell her about his condition? He knew he needed to be honest with her. But he didn't want her coming back because of pity.

He had been checking his phone obsessively, watching for unknown numbers so if necessary he could discretely move to a private area, away from the prying ears of his team, and most especially his partner. And, if Danny had noticed he hadn't said anything, something for which Steve was grateful.

So, of course, when the call he'd been not-so-patiently waiting for finally came he was in the middle of a takedown and didn't even hear the phone ring. It was a Monday afternoon, almost a week after he'd left the message and he and the team were at an abandoned warehouse chasing down their low-life of the week. The man had not gone quietly, but they'd finally cornered and eventually arrested him before handing him off to HPD. They were going to transport him back to the palace with Chin and Kono following closely behind.

Steve spent some time with the crime scene unit when they arrived but once the excitement had died down he realized he'd missed a call and had a voicemail. He hoped it was Catherine and wanted to wait until they were back at HQ before listening to it, but knew waiting would be irresponsible because it might be something completely different that needed his attention. So, he grabbed a quiet moment under the guise of making a call and retrieved the message.

 _'Hi Steve, it's Cath. I got a message from you, which is… surprising, so I hope everything's okay. I know you said it wasn't urgent, but I'm a little bit worried. I don't have a number I can give you right now, but I'm hoping I can call back a bit later and reach you. I'm assuming you're on Oahu so it would be about 1620 hours there, I'll try again at 2100 hours and hopefully we can connect. I hope to talk to you soon.'_

It was a good thing he was alone because he it took him several minutes to wipe the smile off his face enough to keep Danny from asking too many questions during the ride back to the office. They got immediately to the task of interrogating their suspect and Steve found himself appreciating that the man didn't want to talk, because it kept him busy for the next couple hours and then it was time to go home.

He'd gone for a much-shorter-than-his-usual run, had some dinner and settled outside in a chair by the water with a couple of beers to pass the time. When a call from an unknown number came through at 2100 hours, he immediately picked up his phone, took a deep breath and answered it, forgoing his usual greeting.

"Hello?"

 _"Steve? Hi, it's Catherine."_

"Hi Catherine - thanks for calling me back."

" _Of course."_

"How are you? Everything good?" He figured she would know what he was asking, and he wasn't disappointed.

 _"Yes, I'm fine, work's good, and yes we can talk."_ He could hear the smile on her face. _"It's good to hear from you. Everything okay there?"_

"Yeah, things are good here. I'd love to catch you up, but there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. Is this a good time? Do you have a few minutes?"

 _"Uh… yeah, I have about 10 minutes."_ She paused, as if deciding what to say. _"I've gotta be honest here Steve, you're freaking me out a little bit."_

"Nothing's wrong," he reassured her, but couldn't quite find what he wanted to say next. "I've uh, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and have been reevaluating and figuring some stuff out. I miss you, Cath. You're my oldest friend and my life has not been the same without you in it."

There was a brief pause before she replied, "I miss you, too, Steve."

"I'd like to see you. Maybe talk some things out. What do you think? Can we meet somewhere?"

She didn't speak for almost thirty seconds, but he knew she was still on the line because he could hear her measured breaths and could picture her chewing on her lip. _"I'd like that,"_ she finally said _, "I'll be at Langley for a debrief in a couple days and should have a little down time after that. I could fly to Oahu,"_ she offered, then quickly added, _"unless that's too much pressure. Maybe we should meet on neutral ground, somewhere in the middle?_

He was almost giddy. "Really? I would love it if you came here. When?"

 _"It'll be a few days, maybe the weekend or early next week? Let me arrange a flight and a hotel and get the details over to you, okay?"_

"Okay." He paused, thinking for a moment. "You know, you could stay here…"

 _"I don't think that's a good idea. I'll get a room somewhere and let you know, okay?"_

"Of course, absolutely."

 _"Good,"_ she said, _"And maybe I'll make dinner reservations so you'll be forced to feed me."_

He chuckled. "I think we can make that happen."

 _"Okay, great. I'll be in touch when I have things settled."_

"Sounds like a plan. I look forward to seeing you."

 _"You, too, Steve."_

"Hey, Cath? Is there a number or something I can use to reach you?"

 _"Uh, not really right now. But I do check the messages on my old number."_

"Okay, I guess that will have to work, then," he said, not wanting to end the call so soon but knowing she was short on time. "Hopefully I'll see you soon. Aloha."

 _"Aloha, Steve,"_ she told him and he could hear the smile on her face. _"See you soon."_

* * *

The next day Steve was copied on an email confirming a week-long stay at the Hilton Hawaiian Village along with a Sunday evening reservation for two at one of the restaurants on the resort property. It was a nondescript email address he didn't recognize, but he knew without a doubt it was from Catherine. He found he couldn't stop smiling at the fact he'd be seeing her in five days and hopefully for a week after. He noticed she didn't share with him when she would be arriving on the island and chose not to push his luck by inquiring.

He decided not to tell the rest of the team Catherine would be coming to town. This was between her and him and he didn't need other people's opinions clouding things. He didn't expect she would choose to just pop in unexpectedly so he figured the secret was safe for now. And when there was something to tell the team… well, he'd figure it out then.

* * *

 _Catherine's coming to town - how do you think the reunion will go? Another update should be up in a day or two. Please let me know what you think so far!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last two chapters! I can't reply to any of the guest reviewers, but I don't appreciate you any less. I'm happy so many are enjoying the story so far and hope that will continue to be the case. Here's the next chapter - it's a bit shorter than the others but the next one will be much longer to make up for it. I hope it meets with your approval._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 3

 **Hilton Hawaiian Village – Rainbow Tower  
** **Sunday in late May, 1845 hours**

Steve arrived only fifteen minutes early for their reservation and took a position that allowed him a full view of the surrounding area. He was proud of himself for waiting as long as he did to get to the hotel since he'd been eager to see Catherine ever since he got confirmation she was coming to the island.

Since she hadn't provided him with her room number he assumed she didn't want him coming up to her room before dinner. Of course, he could have easily gotten the information, but he chose to respect her wishes and meet her at the restaurant. He was excited to see her, but also more anxious than he'd been in a long time.

Finally, he spotted her and had to remind himself to breathe. It wasn't even that she was wearing anything special, just a casual dress and sandals, but just the sight of her made his heart leap. He stepped forward to greet her with a 'Hello' and was happy it didn't feel awkward at all when he extended his arms and she stepped into his embrace. He held onto her for a few seconds before stepping back slightly and leaning in to kiss her cheek. She seemed relieved and he was happy he'd interpreted the situation correctly. They needed to take things slow and he was completely on board with the idea.

He placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the hostess station where they were advised their table would be ready momentarily so they stepped to the side to wait.

"You look good," he said.

"You, too," she replied and cocked her head. "Have you lost some weight since I last saw you?"

He shrugged in response and changed the subject, asking, "How was your flight? What time did you get in?"

"It was good, we landed a few hours ago and I just got a cab over here."

"I would have picked you up, you know."

She smiled, "I know."

He studied her for a moment and was unprepared for the rush of emotions that flowed through him. He took her hand in his. "God, it's so good to see you Catherine," he told her quietly. "I've really missed you."

She squeezed his hand. "You too, Steve."

They were seated at a private table in the back, which afforded them a chance to talk, which they took advantage of for hours.

By unspoken agreement they preferred to catch up with each other before broaching the more intense topic of their failed relationship so she told him as much as she could about what she'd been doing, and which continents she'd visited over the last couple years. He learned in general terms only that she'd just finished up an assignment that was part of a much larger operation. She told him what was happening with her family and some mutual friends she still tried to keep in touch with when she could.

He talked to her about Mary and how everything was going with Joan as well as what the team had been up to including some of the more significant cases they'd solved. She learned Danny and Lou and their families were well, that Max had been married and relocated to Africa to work with Doctors Without Borders, that Adam had been released from Halawa and that they had all traveled to Mexico to rescue Chin's niece and subsequently Chin, who was in the process of getting permanent custody of the little girl.

Before they knew it, their server was stopping by the table to let them know they'd be closing soon and asking if they needed anything else. Taking the hint, Steve signed the check and they exited the restaurant and headed toward the lobby.

"Are you up for a walk on the beach?" he asked.

"Actually, I think the jet lag has finally caught up to me and I'm pretty exhausted," she told him. "If you don't mind I think I'll say goodnight and head back to my room."

He nodded, "Of course. May I at least escort you there?"

She shook her head, "Steve…"

He put both hands up, palms out. "I'll be a perfect gentleman, I promise."

She laughed. "Well, in that case maybe I'll let you have a kiss goodnight."

"Where's your room?" he asked, smiling.

"Upstairs, twenty-ninth floor," she told him and with a gentle hand he steered her toward the bank of elevators.

"Must be a nice view." He commented appreciatively as they waited for the elevator. The car arrived and they entered.

"Maybe if you're a good boy I'll let you in to see it sometime." She told him as she pushed the proper button.

They exited the elevator on her floor and she led him in the direction of her room where he immediately made a mental note of the number.

"Don't take this the wrong way, because I have every intention of remaining a gentleman, but uh, it feels pretty strange to be walking you to your room and not taking you inside."

She smiled, "I know, I feel the same way. But it's for the best though, right? A lot has happened between us and I really think we need to talk before we fall into old patterns. Do you agree?"

He nodded. "I do, actually."

"I think a good night kiss would be safe, though," she said quietly.

He leaned in to oblige and ended up redirecting to her cheek.

Surprised, she pulled back to look at him, eyebrows raised in question. He decided to just be honest. "I think you're right that we should wait because I think falling into bed would cloud things. But I gotta be honest, it's **_so_** good to see you and I'm just having a little bit of a hard time resisting temptation."

Touched, she wrapped her arms around him for a hug, which he gladly reciprocated. After a few seconds, they pulled apart and he squeezed her hand. "How about you come over to the house tomorrow so we can talk?" he asked, then smirked. "I promise to be on my best behavior. I'll even feed you."

"I don't know…" she teased.

He held up three fingers on his right hand, "Scout's honor," he said.

She chuckled. "Then it's a date."

"Do you want me to pick you up here?" he asked.

"No, I've got a car reserved so I'll meet you there," she told him. "What time?"

"I should be able to cut out a little early. Do you have any plans for tomorrow? What works for you?"

"How about 1700 hours? Maybe we could actually have dinner."

"Perfect," he nodded, "see you tomorrow."

He watched as she unlocked the door with the key card and entered the room.

"Good night, Steve," she told him with a smile.

"Good night, Catherine," he replied and waited until she closed the door before turning and heading back toward the elevator. He was pleased with a successful first step. It had been a good night, comfortable and not at all awkward. He smiled, looking forward to the next 'date'.

* * *

 _A/N: Don't worry, this story is eventually going to get less G-rated because, after all, it's Steve and Catherine. But, I plan to keep it a solid T-rating and not venture into M._

* * *

 _P.S. To guest reviewer Kimphin - yes, the other couple I referenced in the chapter 1 author's note was Mike and Fi. They got their happily-ever-after and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Steve and Catherine to get theirs, too! :-)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Wow! Thank you so much for the wonderful response to the story so far! To know that you are all enjoying it so much warms my heart (and it makes me want to post it faster, which is why you're getting another chapter today). I'm still_ _tinkering with parts of this story, but hope to have those chapters finalized soon so I can meet my goal of getting it published in full before the next season starts. This is a nice long chapter. I considered breaking it into two, but I think it flows better as it is - I hope you'll enjoy reading!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 4

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **Monday, 1645 hours**

Steve was puttering around getting ready for Catherine's arrival. He was pleased his return home hadn't been delayed by a case. He hadn't told anybody on the team that Catherine was in town and they were spending time together. They had agreed to meet at his place so they could have a more intimate conversation and he was having difficulty trying to stay busy waiting patiently for her to arrive.

He had enjoyed seeing her the previous evening; there was no question that all the old feelings were still there. Yet, there was something giving him pause. He supposed part of it was still the residual pain from how badly she'd hurt him. And part of it was probably concern and some guilt over what he hadn't yet told her about his medical condition. He hoped they would be able to work through everything, because if there was any chance that they might be able to reconcile he wanted so badly to be take it and move forward together.

The bell rang exactly at 1700 hours and he answered the door with a smile which turned into a frown as he saw the bag over her shoulder. He invited her in, leaned in to give her a quick peck on the cheek then stepped back.

"You brought a bag…" he said, just leaving it at that.

He held out his hand to take it from her and place it on the floor. It was kind of a large bag for overnight but he didn't want to make any assumptions.

"I uh, I got a call about an hour ago. I've been recalled to Langley," she told him apprehensively.

"What? When do you have to leave?"

"Tonight. I'm on the 2210 red eye."

"But you just got here! I was hoping we could talk, I was going to grill some steaks, open a bottle of wine…"

"And we can still do all that," she reminded him gently. "I don't have to leave for a few hours." Steve didn't respond right away and Catherine immediately corrected herself. "I'm sorry," she reached for the bag. "I shouldn't assume. I can leave—"

"No! No. Sorry, you're right. We have three hours, four if I drive you to the airport and flash my badge to escort you through security, and I want to make the most of them. I guess I'm just disappointed that you're leaving so soon. I thought you were here for a week."

"I thought so, too. But I should be able to come back in two weeks and stay longer."

Steve sighed. "Okay. Then it is what it is and we'll make do with the time we have," he said, trying not to ruin their evening before it even got started. "Why don't we start again?" He smiled then leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. "Hi," he said warmly. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Hi," she replied. "What else did I have to do?" she said, laughing. "I'm kind of on vacation here, right?"

"Right," he agreed with a smile. "So, what did you do today? Anything interesting?"

"I slept in for hours, and it felt **_so_** good. Then I had breakfast, picked up the car and some other things and spent an hour by the pool. It was nice to just sit in the sun, I've missed it," she said. "I had briefly considered going to Kamekona's, because I've been having a craving, but I wasn't sure if anyone else knew I was back on the island, so…"

"Uh… No. I haven't told anyone you're back," he said. "I'm sorry – is that okay? It's not that I'm ashamed of you being here," he reassured her. "I want to tell everyone. But I wasn't… I just needed to know," he paused, trying to find the right words, "what we still are to each other, I guess, before I tried to explain it to Danny."

"It's okay," she told him warmly, "I understand."

He nodded his head. "Okay." He smiled. "I thought we'd sit outside," he said as guided her towards the lanai. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Is it too early to open the wine?" she asked, jokingly.

He chuckled. "No, I suppose not—"

"Steve, I'm kidding." She smiled at him. "Water would be great, thank you."

He detoured into the kitchen as she made her way out to the lanai. He joined her a few minutes later with two glasses of water and a plate with fruit and cheese. "You mentioned wanting a snack, so I thought, just in case…" he said, as he put the plate down.

"Hmmm… thanks," she said, choosing a slice of cheddar and some grapes. "This is perfect." She had a bit more then paused. "I probably shouldn't eat too much. What are we having for dinner?"

"I was going to put together a salad and grill some steaks, if that's okay."

"Sounds wonderful. I've missed your steaks," she told him with a smile.

He smiled in return, then shifted nervously.

"So, I know we didn't really get a chance to talk last night, but there are… things to say and I wanted to talk tonight. But now you have to leave and I'm not sure… I don't know if it's the right time."

"I think we should talk about whatever's on your mind. And if it's time for me to go and there's still more to say we can continue the conversation later. I won't be out of reach – so we'll still be able to talk while I'm there."

He nodded, thoughtfully. "Okay," he said hesitatingly, then repeated it with more conviction. "I've uh, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and have been reevaluating and figuring some stuff out." He looked down at his lap. "I'm getting older and… I've given so many years to the job, what am I going to have left in the end?" He paused to gather his thoughts and looked up at her. "I've missed you, since you left. And… I know I told you I couldn't wait," he took a deep breath, "but I don't think it's fair of me to blame you for leaving me when I didn't give you a lot of reason to stay."

"What? No. I—"

"Cath?" he interrupted, placing a hand on her knee, "Please let me get this out?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Okay."

He looked up and out toward the water. "I realize now I took you for granted. I was never very good at telling you how I felt, I always assumed you just knew, but I should have said it more." He turned his attention back to her. "I still don't like that you lied to me about why you left, but now that I know the truth I can't say I don't understand why you did. Or why you're doing what you're doing." He rubbed his hand across his forehead. "I uh, I know I gave you an ultimatum when I told you I couldn't wait for you, but I…" he looked at the ocean again and finished softly, "now I think I shouldn't have done that."

She watched him for a moment. "Steve," she said, waiting for him to turn to look at her. "I don't… what exactly are you saying?"

He reached out for her hand and she placed it in his. "I know in Morocco you told me you're happy doing what you're doing. And if that's true I don't want to take that away from you." He closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths before meeting her gaze. "But I guess I'm wondering… if I were to ask you today to choose, and I'm not," he paused and emphasized, "I'm **_not_** , but… if I did… ask you again to choose between me and your job… uh, what would you say?" When she didn't answer right away he looked away, then out at the ocean before turning back to her.

She cleared her throat. "Um, I –" she said quietly. "It's not that easy. I- I can't just walk away, you know that."

He squeezed her hand. "I understand that, I do." He nodded. "I get that it's a process, but let's forget about that for a moment. Let's assume you have the power to tell the CIA to take a hike. If our relationship were back on the table and you had to choose between your career as a spy and a future with me…" he released her hand and scrubbed both of his vigorously over his face, then took the conversation in a slightly different direction. "I know you told me our relationship wasn't enough for you, and I believed you then. But now, I'm wondering whether that was you or your cover story talking." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, steeling himself. "So hypothetically, if I asked again, what would you pick?"

"Steve, I –," She sighed heavily. "What you're asking… what we had, being with you, meant so much to me but I," she brought a hand to her chest "didn't have a choice last time. Choosing our relationship," she waved a hand between them, "wasn't an option. I didn't lie in Morocco. The truth is I do like my job, I like helping to make the world a better place and I'm good at it. But it also keeps me busy so I spend a lot of time alone. And sometimes I do get lonely and I wish..." her voice trembled and she took a deep breath to regain some control. "I try not to think about the future because, like you said, what happens when I can't do it anymore? I honestly don't know, except I'll have nothing to show for everything it's cost me."

She was fighting tears and he knew she would refuse to let her emotions get the best of her. She paused for a moment and sounded stronger when she continued, "I don't know what happens in the future because," she looked away, took a long, slow breath in and blew it out, "because I always thought it would be you and me, you know?" She turned to face him. "And now I can't see myself in a relationship with anyone else," she said softly and Steve flinched, "so I guess I try to just live in the present and not worry about what will happen years down the road. What else can I do?"

"I know, I get it," he said empathetically, but pressed on, "But you didn't answer my question."

She stood suddenly, and turned to face him. "Because it doesn't matter," she said, waving her hand. She was getting frustrated and her volume was increasing. "I don't see a happy ending for you and me." She turned away before continuing quietly. "I have **_hurt_** you so many times, and I know you, there's no way you ever can get over that." She turned back and her voice held more confidence when she continued. "And you shouldn't have to. You deserve to be happy with someone you can come home to every night. Get married, have kids if you want…" She paused again and turned away, fighting for composure.

He rose and stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "What you said?" he told her. "About the future? I've been thinking about that a lot myself and… wondering if the sacrifices have been worth it." He gently turned her to face him. "I'm forty-one years old now and it gets harder every year. I guess maybe it was the transplant that started me thinking about what happens when I can't to the job anymore. And the idea of having someone to come home to every night…" he slid his hands down her arms and grasped both her hands. "I think I want that. I **_know_** I wanted that with you and I regret that by the time I finally figured it out it was too late."

"Steve-"

"No, let me finish, please?"

She nodded.

He moved away a few paces before coming back to stand a few feet away with his hands on his hips. "Since I found out you joined the CIA I've been realizing some things about my mother," he said. "She tried to have it all." He waved his hand in a circle. "She gave up her life with the CIA for a future with my dad and they had a, a good life for a lot of years. And after I found out Doris was still alive, well, for a long time I assumed she left us because she missed the life too much and I resented her for that." He shook his head slowly. "But now, I don't think so. I know she loved my dad and me and Mary very much and I don't think she left us because she regretted her decision to become a wife and a mother. Now I believe she faked her death for the same reason my dad sent Mary and me away." He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but both my parents did what they did because they were trying to protect us." He closed the distance between them. "I get what that's like now. I know what it feels like to be scared of losing someone who means everything to you and to want to protect them at all costs. And when that happened to me…," he sighed and looked away for a moment, "rather than bringing you in closer and making the most of whatever time we had together I pushed you away."

"Steve, you never pushed me away," she admonished.

"Yeah, I did. Emotionally I did. And it wasn't fair to you. I wasn't willing to give you up, but I wasn't willing to give you what you needed from me, either."

"Steve, I don't… what are you saying?"

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before opening them to gaze deeply into hers. "I'm saying that I still love you." He noticed the sudden wetness that sprang to her eyes and used the pads of his thumbs to gently wipe it away before gently cradling her face with both hands. "And if you still love me, maybe that's enough. Or maybe it's not, but I think we owe it to ourselves to find out. I'm saying maybe there's a chance for us, if you want."

She was quiet for almost a minute while Steve held his breath. "Wow," She finally said. "I need um… I think I need a little time to…" she stepped back minutely. "Wine. Wine would be good. Do you have any red?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure I do," he said, knowing full well he'd stocked up on her favorite varietal.

He went inside, opened a bottle of wine and carried it and two glasses back out, setting them on the table.

She eyed the label. "You remembered," she said softly.

"Of course I remembered," he replied. The look they shared was so intense he felt himself falling into the deep pools of her brown eyes. He realized quickly they were moving too fast and he needed to lighten the mood. "Yeah. It was part of BUD/s. You know - committing important details to memory," he said lightly.

"Was there a particular focus on wine selections or…" she teased.

"Only for reds, I guess they figured we didn't need to know whites," he replied cheekily, pouring two glasses before turning serious again. "I know all of what I just said… is a lot and you probably need some time to… process. Why don't you go sit by the water for a bit? I can go do some dinner prep or something."

"That sounds like a good idea," she told him with a soft smile. "I think I will."

She turned and headed toward the Adirondack chairs near the beach. He watched her sit before turning and going into the house to work on the salad. He situated himself by the window so he could see her while he washed lettuce and chopped vegetables. Once he had everything assembled he prepped the steaks and let them sit to come up in temperature a bit. He carried a tray with plates and flatware outside and set it on the table before moving over and lighting the grill. Satisfied he was ready to make dinner any time he picked up the wine bottle and made his way down to the beach.

"Hey, you ready for a refill?" he called out quietly as he approached, not wanting to startle her.

She turned and held up her glass. "Yeah, that would be great."

He poured and recorked the bottle.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked.

She smiled at him. "No, not at all." He crossed in front of her and sat in his usual chair, placing the wine bottle down on the sand, twisting so it in so it would stay upright.

"Looks like it's going to be a nice sunset tonight," he said.

"Yes, it does," she murmured.

They sat in companionable silence for a little while.

"So, grill's on. I can put the steaks on in about ten minutes, if you're hungry."

"I am getting kind of hungry," she admitted.

"Okay, I'll go back up there and get them going. You want to come up in about fifteen?"

She smiled. "Sounds perfect."

He picked up the wine and returned to the lanai, placing the bottle on the table. He retrieved the steaks and salad from the kitchen and got the steaks going on the grill then poured himself more wine and sat, watching her down by the water. He checked the steaks a few times and was just finishing setting the table when she appeared next to him.

"Perfect timing," he told her with a smile.

He pulled out her chair for her and she served salad onto the plates while he got the steaks off the grill. He placed the plate on the table and took his seat. He picked up his glass and held it out before he realized it might be premature to celebrate.

"To…," he trailed off.

She raised her glass. "How about to rekindling friendship and seeing where it leads?" she proposed.

He smiled and nodded before clinking his glass with hers. They each took a sip and tucked into their food.

"So, I gave you a lot to think about…" Steve commented leadingly a few minutes into the meal.

"You did." She put down her fork. "Um… before we get into that I feel like I should…" She shook her head. "Let me start again. I have missed you so, so much. Not just being with you in the same time zone, but having you to talk to as my best friend. Work keeps me busy, but I am lonely. I guess that's the nature of the business…" she trailed off. "I still care about you so much, and I've dreamed about the idea of another chance, but when I left that last time… I thought we were done and you were moving on. And I didn't blame you," she added hurriedly, "it wasn't fair of me to ever have expected you to keep waiting." She looked away for a moment, "But I guess maybe part of me did," she added quietly, "and after the last time I was here… meeting Lynn… you seemed like you were happy." She looked at him and he saw her eyes were wet. "And, as much as I wanted to be the one to make you happy…" she trailed off, unable to continue and wiping at her eyes.

He picked up the conversation. "I know you told me you're happy doing what you're doing, and I respect that. But do you want more?"

"I am happy," she said slowly. "But I do feel like something's missing…" she said, getting teary again. "But I just don't think it's possible for me to have both." She slid her chair back. "I'm sorry, will you excuse me for a minute?" She didn't want to break down in front of him and quickly disappeared into the house for a short while, returning when she'd regained her composure. She retook her seat before continuing. "Sorry."

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and dove right back in. "You said you still love me and think we owe it to ourselves to see if there might be a way to make it work."

He nodded.

"Can I ask… how are you thinking that would work? I just… I don't think it would be fair to you with how often I'll have to leave and how much I could be away. We'd be out of touch for long periods, and you wouldn't know what I'm doing – I **_know_** that would be hard for you."

They were both quiet for several moments, Catherine watched Steve, waiting for him to speak.

"So, you'd choose the job?" he finally asked quietly.

She sighed, a little exasperated. "That's not what I said. I haven't answered that question because I can't. Even if I wanted to choose you I can't just walk away, not right now. I'm in the middle of something big that I need to see through to the end. And that could take years, I don't know. But where would that leave us?" She held up her hands. "What, you want to revisit this when the op is done?"

Steve considered his answer. "No," he said slowly. "I don't think that's what I want. I want…" he closed his eyes and pursed his lips, trying to find the right words, "I want to choose you. To make time for you, prioritize you in my life as much as possible. I haven't always been very good at that but I want to try. And I know it's not fair that you'd have to give up your job and I wouldn't. But I guess I'm asking anyway. Would you choose me? Do you even want to?"

She bit her lip, considering. "I want to," she finally told him, "so much." Her smile faded. "But I don't know if I could. It wouldn't be fair to you. You deserve to be happy with someone who can be here for you all the time. And I can't. Not right now."

"And if I disagree?"

"About which part, exactly?"

"That it wouldn't be fair. What if I'm willing to wait for you until the op is done? We've done it before and you know it. For years, that was our relationship."

"But things are different now," she cut off his protest, "you know they are. The situation has changed. It's not like years ago when you were deployed all over the world and too busy to miss me. You're settled here now, and we've had a taste of what it's like to be together full time."

He shook his head. "I always missed you when we weren't together," he corrected her with a sad smile and a shrug. "But you're right, I know what's it's like to have you here full time. And, if I'm being honest, I want that again." He held up his hand, asking her to let him finish. "But I know that's not possible right now. I get that. And I know it would be hard because I would absolutely miss you when you were gone. But that's the choice, isn't it? I tried moving on," he said, waving his hand. "Lynn and I dated for almost two years," he didn't miss her flinch at his words, "but it never got serious."

"Are you two still together?"

"No, that's over."

"Can I ask what happened?"

"She's not you," he said simply.

"Wow, uh..." Catherine swiped at the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes. "I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to that."

"You could try being happy," he told her, with a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

"Right." She returned, with the same tone. "Because there's no pressure there. You tell me we should consider giving it another shot, that you're willing to wait for me. But what about how I feel?"

"You won't tell me how you feel! You still haven't answered the damn question!" he exclaimed, his frustration bubbling over. The conversation was not going at all how he expected.

"I know," she said sharply, then paused, inhaled and exhaled before starting again with a gentler tone. "I know, and I'm sorry. I think… I think maybe I should finish up and go."

Steve's brow furrowed. "You want to leave now? But you don't need to be at the airport for two hours."

"I know. I just… I don't want to fight with you and I think maybe I- **_we_** both need some time to think about what we want."

He sighed. "I understand. I just…" he closed his eyes. "Please don't go. Not yet. We have a little more time together and I'd like to spend it with you. I'm sorry if I pushed too hard - we don't have to talk anymore if you're not ready."

She was touched by how sincerely he had expressed his feelings. "Okay," she finally said. "But, will you excuse me again a moment?" she asked. "I'm sorry, I'm not running away, I just need to go to the bathroom."

After she left the table Steve sat with his head in his hands. How had this evening gone so far off the rails? Was it just that he had he been too aggressive by laying it all out there all at once? Or was it she wasn't interested in trying to rekindle their relationship?

She returned and sat on the edge of her seat, like she didn't want to get comfortable. When silence reigned for a full minute she spoke softly. "That you would even consider taking me back is… I can't even tell you. And please don't think because I'm not jumping at the chance that it's not what I want because that couldn't be further from the truth." He looked up at her, finally. "But I feel like we need to be careful here or we could both get hurt again. And I don't want that. So, I just need some time to think… but I'm worried you'll resent me for needing it."

He sighed. It wasn't what he'd wanted to hear, but he appreciated her honesty. "I understand. And I don't resent you. I've had time to think about this and I guess I just hoped…" he trailed off. "But that's not fair to you."

"Are we okay?" she asked softly.

He rose and offered her his hand to help her to her feet. "We're okay," he told her quietly before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against his chest. She nestled into his shoulder as he held her close and breathed in the scent of her shampoo. They relished the feel of each other for a few minutes before breaking apart.

Catherine cleared her throat. "Um, why don't I help you clean up," she offered.

"You don't need to do that," he told her.

"You shouldn't have to clean up, you cooked."

"That's okay, been doing it myself for years."

"Right," she said, softly, unable to look at him.

Steve stacked the plates and silverware and Catherine gathered the napkins and wine glasses.

As he started to head into the house she said, "I'm just going to call for an Uber then I'll be right in."

"You don't have to get a car, I'll drive you," he told her.

"Thanks, but I uh," she sighed. "I think I'd rather say goodbye to you here," she admitted.

A few minutes later she arrived in the kitchen with the remainder of the dishes. "Car will be about 10 minutes," she said. They worked together to get everything loaded in the dishwasher or washed by hand until her phone dinged with a text.

"Driver's about two minutes out," she said and wiped her hands on a dish towel.

He followed her to the door and picked up her bag. "If it's okay, I think I'd rather say goodbye to you in here," she said, softly.

"Yeah, I understand." He pulled her into another hug. "Have a safe flight," he said, and then moved back. "Let me know when you get there?"

"I will." She replied and took the bag from him. "See you in two weeks, right?"

"Yeah. Two weeks." He opened the door for her.

"Okay, bye," she said and walked past him.

He shut the door behind her and, not wanting to watch her leave, walked through the house then continued out the back door. He proceeded immediately down to the beach and sat heavily in one of the old wooden chairs. He heard the faint sounds of a car door closing and then heard a vehicle drive away.

He put his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes. "Aloha, Cath," he said sadly.

* * *

 _A/N: I suspect a good many of you are not happy with me right now - and you have every reason to feel that way. But they've both been through the wringer when it comes to their relationship and it's going to take a bit of time to really repair that. So all I ask is that you please stick with the story, I promise you it's far from over!_


	5. Chapter 5

_There were not a lot of reviews on the last chapter, so I'm guessing many readers were not happy with the direction I took it in and I can understand that. But the story is far from done. So, if you're still reading I want to say 'thank you' for sticking with the story - I think you'll really like this next chapter. There's much, much more to come so please don't give up on me yet. :)_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 5

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **Monday, late May, 2005 hours**

Steve sat slumped in his chair, his posture a direct reflection of his mood. Catherine had gone again. She assured him she would be back, and he wanted to believe she would, but it felt more final than that. He sighed heavily and dropped his chin to his chest.

"I couldn't do it."

Steve whipped his head around to see Catherine approaching from the house and stood to meet her.

"I couldn't leave again," she continued as she approached, "I was at the car and I just… I kept thinking about last time and I… I barely got through that and I don't ever want to do it again." She smiled softly. "And, suddenly I just knew. I have an answer to your question."

He closed most of the distance between them and stood a foot away, facing her. "And?" he asked.

"I would choose you," she said softly, blinking away tears. "If we lived in some utopian fantasy," she started crying, tears running down her face, "where I could do whatever I wanted without consequences I would choose you."

He stepped forward to tug her into his arms. "Shhh," he soothed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's okay," she mumbled into his shirt.

"It's not, but thanks," he said, trying not to smile, but he was beyond thrilled. She'd decided to stay and had finally admitted she'd choose him over her job and he just couldn't keep the smile off his face. He held her a few moments longer, until she stopped hiccupping and began breathing normally.

"You okay?" he asked, gently.

"Yeah," she said, wiping her face. "I just need a tissue."

"Come on," he told her, leading her toward the house. When they reached the lanai he said, "I'll be right back," before disappearing into the house and returning with a box of Kleenex.

She wiped her eyes and blew her nose while he watched her with a stupid grin on his face.

"What?" she finally asked.

"You're still here and you said you'd pick me," he told her, happily.

She rolled her eyes just a little. "I am. And I would. But did you miss the part about the utopian fantasy or are you just ignoring it?"

He smiled. "I really think we can make it work, Cath, as long as we prioritize each other. It's not forever, eventually you're going to wrap up this… whatever op you're on and you'll get out of the CIA and it'll just be us."

She put her hand on his arm. "You make it sound so simple," she said as gently as she could. "But I don't know if that's realistic and… we'd be taking a big risk. We've both been hurt so much already and I can't bear the thought of that happening again."

"And I don't want either of us to get hurt again," he said gently, "but I think we have to at least try. I'm going into this with my eyes open, Catherine. I won't be blindsided again because you don't have to lie to me about what you're really doing." He grasped her hand. "And I won't force you to make a choice that you have no control over. I feel like I let you go too easily. I should have fought harder, **_we_** should have fought harder. You, and our relationship are worth fighting for."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers but he hadn't meant to kiss her like **_that_**. It began tentatively, but pretty much the moment their lips touched a flame was re-ignited and there was no going back. Kissing her was everything he had remembered and he wrapped his arms around her, wanting her as close as humanly possible as she snaked hers up around his neck to cradle the back of his head. They both felt the effects of the kiss from head to toe and were breathless when they finally pulled apart. Catherine moaned from the loss of contact and Steve rested his forehead against hers.

"Wow," he commented softly.

"Hmmm," she agreed, still feeling too weak to stand on her own.

He placed a kiss on her forehead before stepping back just enough to gaze at her face.

She sighed contentedly and smiled up at him. "I guess passion's not going to be a problem, huh?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No," he agreed, "but then, it never was."

"Can I just ask…" Catherine said, "Why now? I mean what made you decide to call me a couple weeks ago?"

"That's a fair question, and I want to answer it. But I feel like we've both been through the emotional wringer today and maybe we should sleep on this. Do you want to head back to the Hilton? Because I've got plenty of room here," he said, wanting so badly for her to stay with him in his bed but knowing he needed to come clean about his illness before they took that step, "and the sheets in the guest room are clean."

"Oh. Uh, sure," she said, "The guest room would be fine."

He could tell she was confused and felt he owed her an explanation.

"I'm sorry, Cath. It's not that I don't want you in my bed," he dipped his head to touch his lips again to hers. "I do." He smirked. "Very much, in fact. But I still owe you some answers and there are other things to… figure out…" he trailed off.

"You're right," she said quietly. "We can talk more tomorrow. Do you think you'll have time for lunch?"

"So, you're really staying?" he asked with a grin. "You're not going to change your mind and head back to Virginia tomorrow?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" she teased.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he told her sincerely. "Will there be trouble if you don't report as ordered?"

"I don't think so. I should be able to conference in from the field office here."

He nodded. "How long will you be able to stay?"

"I'm not sure. I may have to move some things around. But I'm hoping at least a week?"

He hugged her again and held her tight. "That sounds really good to me," he said into her shoulder before releasing his hold and pulling back to make eye contact. "I'm thinking maybe we should take the day tomorrow, go somewhere. How about a hike up to the petroglyphs?"

She looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "You're going to take the day off?" she asked, surprise clearly evident in her voice.

"I told you, it's about making choices. And I'd like to choose to spend the day with you tomorrow."

She smiled, touched. "I'd like that."

"Good, then it's settled. Unless there's another nuclear bomb or something equally as serious…" he teased.

She smiled. "Of course," she said, understanding that there would always be some situations in which the job would come first. "But what are you going to tell the team? They're not going to buy it if you call in sick."

"Actually," he said quietly, "they might." He cleared his throat before continuing. "But I think I'll tell them the truth. That you're on the island visiting and we're going to spend the day hiking."

She smiled, "Okay."

"Why don't we have breakfast before heading up there. Should we get started around 0700 hours?"

"I'll be ready," she agreed. "Although… I didn't pack any hiking boots."

"Would it be weird if I told you I'm pretty sure there's a pair of your boots around here somewhere?"

"Yeah, maybe a little bit."

He walked her into the house, shutting and locking the back door. "I'm just going to finish cleaning up. You should be able to find everything you need."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, 0700 hours."

She stretched up to give him a gentle kiss on the lips. "Good night, Steve."

"Good night, Cath."

She turned, retrieved her bag and headed into the guest room, closing the door behind her.

He washed the dishes and started the dishwasher before locking up, setting the alarm and heading upstairs. He completed his bedtime routine and lay down for a few minutes, thinking about Catherine being in the room right below him and fighting with himself not to go down there and climb in bed with her. Instead he picked up his phone.

It wasn't too late, so he had a feeling Danny was up, but texted before calling just to be sure. When he received a response almost immediately he dialed and the call was picked up on the first ring.

 _"Steve?"_ Danny asked, _"Everything okay?"_

He could hear the concern in his partner's voice and answered the unspoken question.

"Hey Danny. Yeah, I'm good."

 _"Okay… so to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"_

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about. This a good time?"

 _"Yeah, just watching a game I recorded the other day."_ Part of the problem with living in Hawaii was many of the professional sports games played on the mainland were not broadcast at convenient times.

Steve nodded, even though his partner couldn't see him. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going to take the day off tomorrow."

 _"What? Why? I thought you said you're okay."_

"I am, I am," he assured, "it's something else." Steve could visualize the 'get on with it' hand gesture he was sure Danny was making and decided to just bite the bullet. "I'm uh… I'm going to spend the day hiking with Catherine."

 _"Wait, Catherine's here? When did she get back to Oahu? Wait, she's not trying to rope you into another rescue mission, is she?"_

"Yes, she's on Oahu and has been since yesterday. No, it's not for work." Steve took a breath. "Danny, do me a favor and don't freak out, but I asked her to come, I wanted to talk face to face. We've had dinner a couple times and I want to spend the day with her tomorrow."

 _"You asked her to come and now you want to spend the day..."_ Danny sighed. _"Steve, talk to me. What's going on, babe?"_

"I'm not getting any younger, Danny, and all this talk about opening a restaurant when you retire… and with my symptoms-" he broke off, not needing to elaborate. "It's got me thinking. I've let so much of my life go by while I focused on the job, and I want more."

 _"So, are you saying you're ready to settle down with Lynn, or…?_

"No, I uh – I ended things with Lynn a couple weeks ago, before I called Catherine."

 _"You ended-? I don't understand, who…"_

Steve rested his forehead on his hand, waiting for the explosion and he wasn't disappointed.

 _"Catherine? Tell me you're not saying you want to settle down with Catherine! Babe, have you lost your fricking mind?"_

Steve tried to respond by was interrupted by Danny's rant.

 _"The woman tore your heart out and stomped on it. Twice, I might add. And don't try to deny it because I know, I was there. How can you-? Why-? I don't…"_

Danny trailed off and Steve could hear the measured breaths as he composed himself.

"You're right," he responded. "I'm not denying she hurt me. But she got hurt, too. And I still love her Danny. She's the only person I can see myself being with. And once I admitted that to myself I needed to break it off with Lynn because anything else wouldn't have been fair to her."

 _"So… what? She's said she's just going to give up the CIA for you?"_ Danny said sarcastically _. "And you just believed her? 'Cause it's not like she's ever lied to you before or anything."_

Steve waited patiently for his partner to finish before responding. He knew Danny still harbored some animosity toward Catherine for the way she left the last time, but also believed his partner would be able to put it past him because he refused to consider the fact they might not be able to get along in the future.

"You about done?" he asked. "Do I get a chance to talk now?"

 _"Yes, Steven, by all means, please reiterate to me all the half-truths your ex-girlfriend told you."_

"Danny," he said, with a definite warning in his tone.

He heard his partner sigh. _"I'm sorry, babe. I know that wasn't fair, that there's more to what happened. "_

"Yeah, there is." Steve told him flatly, but reminded himself Danny's concern came from a place of caring and softened his tone. "Honestly, we haven't figured everything out yet, but we've been doing a lot of talking."

 _"Let me guess, she jumped at the chance to get back with you."_

"Actually, no. She's worried about one or both of us getting hurt again, so I'm trying to convince her it's worth giving it a shot."

 _"Wait – you're trying to convince the woman who abandoned you twice that she should take you back so she can leave again?"_ Danny exclaimed, his volume rising again. _"Seriously, what's the matter with you!"_

"Danny," the warning was back in Steve's tone. "I need you to trust me on this one, partner. I know what I'm doing. I know I may get hurt again, but I've decided it's worth the risk. And I need you to support me here, can you do that?"

Danny was quiet while he mulled it over. " _It's against my better judgement,"_ he finally said _, "but I have your back. You know that."_

Steve smiled. "Yeah, I do. Thanks, man."

 _"Are you feeling up to hiking?"_

"Yeah, I feel pretty good actually, my energy level's been a lot better and we'll just take it slow if we need to."

 _"So, Catherine knows about your condition?"_

"Uh, no. Not yet. I'm planning to talk to her tomorrow."

 _"All, right. Well, you might as well tell me where you're going so I'll know where to direct the medevac,"_ he said, mostly joking.

Steve flinched. "Actually, we're uh – we're headed up to the petroglyphs."

Danny signed. _"I was kidding about the chopper, but now, not so much. Do me a favor and don't fall off any ledges, okay? And you know what? Take the sat phone, because cell service up there is terrible."_

"Copy that."

 _"What do you want me to tell the rest of the team?"_

"Uh… that's a good question." Steve looked up at the ceiling in his room, thinking. "Tell them Catherine is in town and I'm spending the day with her. You know, I'm sure Cath would like to see them, maybe we can stop by tomorrow and say 'hello'. I'll let you know in the morning."

 _"All right. I'll be there for you whatever happens, but I hope you know what you're doing."_

"I do, Danny. And thanks."

* * *

 _A/N: She didn't really leave - things are already looking up! Danny wasn't thrilled with the news of Catherine's return but he's Steve's best friend and honorary brother and I think, for the most part, Steve appreciates that his partner cares enough to voice his concerns openly. I hope I did Danny's reaction and their conversation justice._


	6. Chapter 6

_Wow! I am amazed and humbled by the number of reviews on the last chapter and want to express my thanks to everyone who is reading this story. I, like many of you, am frustrated with the lack of McRoll on the show so I'm happy I can provide this outlet for you. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 6

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **Tuesday, 0650 hours**

Steve knocked on the guest room door and he heard rustling before Catherine opened it, smiling.

"Good morning!" she greeted him. "I'm almost ready."

"Sorry to interrupt, but I really couldn't wait to do this."

He cradled her face with both hands and leaned in to place a gentle, but meaningful kiss on her lips. She placed her hands around his waist and leaned in to the embrace. Steve was the first to pull back slightly and he gazed at her, with her eyes closed and a contented smile on her face. She let out a happy-sounding hum before opening her eyes and focusing on him.

"Hi," she said, happily. She leaned back and he dropped his hands to grasp hers as she lifted one foot off the floor. "I know they're not the best, but it's all I have," she said of the running shoes she was wearing. "Unless you want to make a stop and I can buy a pair."

He chuckled, "Those are definitely not the best and you know I wouldn't let you hike in those. And we're not going to stop; you shouldn't hike in brand new boots anyway." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You know, blisters?"

"Yes, smart ass, I know about blisters." She grinned, then turned serious. "But I'm really looking forward to hiking with you today, so…" she said drawing out the word.

He leaned over and lifted a pair of boots. "Remember, last night I told you I thought I had them somewhere?"

"Well, yeah. But where did you get a pair of my boots?"

He placed them on the floor inside the room. "Actually, the new tenant at your old place found them - I'm not exactly sure, but I think they were under the porch or something. Anyway, I guess he reach you so he found my number and called, thinking I could hold on to them or get them back to you." He shrugged. "I didn't really feel like telling him about why that wasn't likely to happen. So, I uh- I just went over there and picked them up. It had only been a few days or a week since you'd gone and I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them but, honestly, I wasn't in a hurry to try to track you down to get them back to you, either. So, they ended up in a closet here; I did some digging this morning and found them."

Catherine squeezed his hands. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

He cocked an eyebrow. "It's no big deal, they're just boots."

"Steve…" She tilted her head and waited him out.

"I know." He sighed. "I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't one of the worst times of my life, because it was." He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on hers. "The boots were just another reminder that you'd gone. Kind of like your toothbrush in the cup in the bathroom upstairs that I held onto for the longest time because I couldn't bear to get rid of it."

She tightened her arms around him and he suspected she was fighting tears. "I will never be able to apologize enough for all the pain I've caused you." She pulled back and he saw that her eyes were indeed wet. "This is exactly what I'm afraid of. If we try again and…" She tightened her arms around him, her voice was muffled in his shirt. "I can't bear the idea of hurting you like that again."

He tried to put some space between them so he could look at her, but she didn't want to budge from her spot against his chest. "Cath…" When she still hadn't moved he said quietly, "Hey, will you look at me, please?" She did as he asked and he rubbed his thumb along her cheek. "I wasn't the only one who was hurt. And things will be different this time. For one, I know the truth about what you're really doing now. That makes all the difference in the world."

She tried to shake her head to disagree, but he held her gently and continued. "It does. Part of the reason it hurt so much last time is because you were forced to lie to me and I honestly thought everyone else in the world was more important to you than I was. And I loved you so much, you were everything to me, and to have you not feel the same way…"

He paused and looked up for a moment, trying to keep a handle on his emotions. She had given up trying to wipe her tears and was just letting them flow freely now.

He continued, "I didn't understand how I could have been so wrong about your feelings for me and how you were able to just walk away from all our years together, even after I asked you to stay." He cradled her face and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs before grasping her hands and holding them chest height between them. "But now I know you didn't choose to leave me. If I'd known you were under orders I never would have given you that ultimatum. I mean," he squeezed her hands and smirked, "I still would have been pissed as hell about the CIA, and the weeks of lying, but I wouldn't have asked to you to disobey orders by choosing to stay with me. Because that wouldn't have been fair."

He released her hands and wiped at her tears again, holding her face gently.

"So now I'm asking you again to choose me over your job. But this time I'm willing to wait for you to finish your op and extricate yourself from the company. When you're away I'll miss you, and when you're not, you'll be here on the island so I can spend as much time with you as possible. And as long as you're committed to getting out, I'll deal with the separation because it's not forever and someday we'll be together full time."

She gazed at him for a moment before saying, "That sounds really, really nice." She kissed him twice before adding, "Maybe too good to be true."

And he knew she was harboring some doubts about whether they could make their relationship work while she was spending most of her time all over the world on covert assignments with the CIA. So, he just smiled and mirrored her actions, kissing her twice.

He ran his thumb over her cheek before stepping back. "We should probably get going if we want to get out there before it gets too hot."

She smiled. "I can't even tell you how long it's been since I did something like this for fun."

He returned her smile and quietly said, "Me, too."

"I'm just going to change my shoes, give me a minute?" He nodded and she carried the boots over to the chair, sitting to put them on.

He watched her for a moment. "Hey, before we go there's something I wanted to run by you."

She looked up at him. "Okay, shoot."

"I spoke to Danny last night and let him know you're back on the island and I was taking today off to spend it with you. He asked me what he should tell the rest of the team and it occurred to me that you might want to see them, say 'Hello'. Would you be interested in stopping by later?"

She considered for a moment and smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that."

* * *

 **Ko'olau Mountain Range  
** **0800 hours**

After a delicious breakfast at Rainbow they'd headed up to the mountains for their hike. Once Steve checked the pack and was sure they had everything they would need they set off up the trail.

They chatted early on, then fell into silence during some of the more strenuous portions. Even though they kept a leisurely pace, Steve struggled more than he would have liked to admit and Catherine noticed. She watched him with a small frown on her face. He'd been at one hundred percent the last time she'd seen him, so this was something new. She knew he was as stubborn as they come, but not reckless with his life or others, so he wouldn't have undertaken the activity against doctor's orders which meant, hopefully, it wasn't too serious.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yes, it's nothing. I've been a little under the weather, that's all."

She decided this wasn't the time to push it and they kept moving. Once they'd hiked for another half hour or so she thought he could use a break.

"I guess I'm a little out of practice – do you mind if we take a break? Maybe sit in the shade over there?"

He nodded and they sat down to rehydrate and reenergize with some trail mix before setting off on the last stretch of trail. Once they reached their destination Steve set the pack down and leaned over slightly, working to catch his breath. Moments later a canteen appeared in his peripheral vision and he accepted it gratefully, nodding his thanks. He appreciated that Catherine waited patiently while keeping up a running commentary about the beauty of the landscape and how it hadn't changed a bit she he'd last brought her to the site years before.

It probably took two or three minutes for him to really catch his breath, which would be nothing for most people, but it was far from normal for him, and he knew she knew it. When he was ready he handed her the canteen. Without glancing over she took it and drank from it, capping it when she was finished. Once she'd returned it to the pack she put her hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

"Steve, will you please talk to me? I don't believe this is because you had a touch of a cold recently."

He sat, tugging her down with him. "No," he said on a sigh, "it's not from a cold. I haven't been completely honest with you. I know you said you want to choose me but still have concerns about having a long-distance relationship because you think I'm going to get hurt again…"

"Right," she agreed.

"But I feel like we agreed that we both want to give it another try, right?" Seeing her interruption coming he added quickly, "I know we still have some things to work out, but there's something you need to know before we get too serious because it may change how you feel." He sighed heavily.

"Steve?" Her eyes darted from side to side as she considered the possibilities running through her head, none of them good. "You're sick, aren't you? How bad is it?"

"I uh - I have some radiation poisoning But-," he interrupted her question, "-hey," he placed his hands on either side of her face and waited until she was fully focused on him. "It's okay. It could have been a lot worse," he reassured her. "I will be fine. It's a moderate case and they've been treating my symptoms, which are getting much better." He took a moment to let her study him, figuring she was trying to determine if he was downplaying this like he always did with illness or injury.

"My God, Steve, radiation poisoning? What happened?"

"Danny and I intercepted a dirty bomb a couple months ago as we were trying to track down the guy who made it. I couldn't disarm it on my own and since the sat phone was destroyed and we couldn't get cell service, we had no option but to try to drive it to an area where we could bring in the bomb techs to deal with it. It didn't work out exactly as we'd planned, though, and we couldn't stop it in time, so one of the techs was able to talk me through removing the Uranium. I needed to remove the rods from the case to get to the screws to detach it from the rest of the device."

She took a deep breath in and exhaled before grasping his hand in both of her own. "I guess it's safe to assume, since you're here with me now, that you were successful?"

He smiled, "Yes, we were. I had a car battery strapped to my chest, as the most clunky lead apron ever and it was literally only about a minute the rods were exposed. You can ask Danny if you don't believe me."

"Danny's okay, too?"

"Yes, he's perfectly fine. I made him take cover while I was working. We both got tossed around a bit from the force of the explosion, but that was just some scrapes and bruises."

"Good. That's really good." She squeezed his hand and made sure he was looking at her. "I'm really happy you're okay. But you're obviously concerned about long term. What's the prognosis?" She squeezed his hand again, "And please don't sugarcoat it."

He chuckled at how well she knew him, then sobered. "There _will_ be effects down the road, and I'm not sure exactly what to expect. I've had some headaches, nausea, muscle weakness and fatigue the last few weeks but the meds are really helping. I don't know if those symptoms will pop up again from time to time or not. The doctors can't or won't give me any definites, except that my cells have been damaged from the exposure. The only thing they seem to know for sure is there's an increased risk of cancer from here on out. So, I'm going to get regular checkups so they can keep an eye on things."

Catherine's eyes were moist and she swiped her fingers across them but stayed silent. He knew it was a lot to take in. He'd had weeks to deal with it and he needed to allow her some time to come to grips with everything.

"I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to stick around," he said softly, not able to look at her.

She heard the vulnerability in his tone and needed to reassure him. "Steve, this doesn't change how I feel about you." He nodded but couldn't meet her eyes. "Okay? Hey, sailor, will you look at me please?" He did as she asked. "How long have you known?"

"A few weeks, I wasn't feeling well and went in to get checked out so they did some tests."

"And how are you doing with all this? First your transplant, and now…"

God, she knew him so well. He longed to be able to confess everything to her, but something was holding him back. "I'm okay," he said.

She blew out a breath. "Sometimes you're so frustrating!", she exclaimed, punctuating her words with her hands. "I **_know_** you're not okay. How could you be? And, of course, you won't talk to anyone about it."

"Danny knows," he defended.

"What does he know?" she exclaimed. "That you have radiation poisoning? Does he also know that you're struggling with it? That you're having a hard time dealing with the fact that your body is betraying you, and you have no control over it? That it's killing you that you had a hard time keeping up with me today?" she yelled, then immediately regretted it.

"Does that bother you?" he asked in one of the smallest voices she'd ever heard him use.

She calmed immediately. "No," she said emphatically. "Steve, **_no_**. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm just… I'm angry with myself." She exhaled, long and slow. "You've always been so strong and so capable. I know you struggle with the idea of needing other people."

"I needed you," he confessed quietly. "I even admitted it to you, and you left anyway."

Tears sprang to her eyes. "I know," she said on a sob, "and that's why I hate myself. You've had to deal with all of this on your own because I wasn't here." She jumped up. "I'm sorry, I need to…" she mumbled as she walked away, stopping a short distance from where he was sitting.

He hated seeing her cry. But he felt so raw. Part of him wanted to be the strong one and provide comfort to her and the other part desperately wanted her to reassure _him_. To tell _him_ everything was going to be okay.

The decision was taken from him when she returned and retook her seat but sitting parallel, looking out over the view. She hugged her knees to her chest and took a few moments before speaking.

"I'm glad you told me," she said quietly, "because it _has_ changed things. I realize now I always felt like there was more time, but suddenly I'm very aware that there's never enough. We've already lost years that we can't get back and… I want to spend as much time as possible with you for as long as I can."

He looked over at her. "Are you sure? I mean, I could get cancer in a year or, for that matter I could get shot tomorrow. For all we know you could be signing on for years of changing my diapers or feeding me through a tube! That's no kind of life and I'm not sure it's fair of me to ask that of you."

She turned abruptly to face him. "Then why in the hell are we even here? If you don't want me in your life why in God's name did you call me and ask me to come!"

Her outburst unnerved him. "I'm sorry. I'm just… I do want you in my life. I just don't feel like I deserve it. I'm not the same man I used to be."

"Because you put yourself at risk to save thousands of lives!" she told him forcibly and swiped at her eyes again. "You have so many qualities I admire so much, I know you would have sacrificed yourself if necessary, because that's who you are, who you have always been. You _are_ still the same man you've always been, the same person I fell in love with. The fact you're getting older and may need to slow down some doesn't change how I feel about you. I still choose you. I'd still like another chance to spend the rest of my life with you, however long that is."

"Really?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, but you have to promise me something," she told him seriously, "You have to let me in, to let me take care of you if you need help. Can you do that?"

"I let you in a long time ago, Catherine. That part's easy," he said with absolute sincerity. "I can't promise I'll be a perfect patient, if it ever comes to that, but I'll try, okay?"

"Okay." She sighed and shrugged. "This isn't going to be easy, you know. There will be bumps in the road."

He nodded and smiled. "Potholes, probably. Maybe even sinkholes," he teased.

She chuckled, then sobered. "Speaking of sinkholes... I was um, I was thinking there might be something going on from the transplant… I'm, uh, not sure if this news is better or worse," she confessed quietly.

"Honestly, I don't know either," he said.

"How are you doing with that? Is everything okay with your liver?"

"The liver's good. The last set of scans showed it's grown to normal size, and there's a new therapy they're using to try and wean me off the meds. So, the doctors are pretty happy."

"Will you tell me about it?" she asked. "I mean, you seem to be doing well now, but you must have been through so much."

"You deserve answers to all your questions and I promise you'll get them. it's a lot to deal with and we'll figure it out together, but would it be all right if we table that discussion for later? Honestly, I'd rather talk about anything else right now."

She nodded and said, "Of course. It can wait, I'm not going anywhere." And Steve didn't even try to contain the smile that erupted at her words.

He enjoyed the moment for a while before checking his watch. "If we want to be able to get back to the office to say 'Hi' to everyone we should probably plan to head back soon," he told her. "I packed some sandwiches – maybe we have some lunch and hike out?"

"Sounds good to me," she responded, and she started in on her sandwich.

* * *

 _A/N: So, Steve finally told Catherine about his medical condition and I hope you think I did the conversation justice. Thanks again to everyone who is sticking with this story - I appreciate it more than you know!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Once again I am humbled by the wonderful reviews for the last chapter and am thrilled so many of you are continuing to enjoy the story. Here's the next installment - I hope you'll like it!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 7

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Tuesday, 1630 hours**

After finishing their lunch and hiking out to the trailhead Steve and Catherine had rested for a few minutes before making their way back into the city to visit the team's headquarters. As they climbed the stairs toward Five-0's offices Catherine inquired if Steve had made any arrangements for dinner and suggested they plan something with the team.

As they entered the bullpen, Chin, Danny and Lou were standing at the smart table and appeared to be waiting for them, they could see Kono in her office, on the phone.

"What? Are you guys just standing around?" Steve asked his team.

"Yup," Danny said dryly. "Got nothing better to do."

Steve smirked. "There might be some paperwork I could dig up for you."

"Actually, Luka gave us a heads up," Chin said, referring to the HPD officer usually stationed in the lobby, as he stepped forward to embrace Catherine warmly "It's so good to see you," he told her.

"Thanks, Chin – it's so good to see you, too," she replied. "I hear you're going to be an adoptive father. Congratulations. I'd love to meet Sara someday."

"Ah, you'll be staying on the island then?"

Catherine glanced at Steve and said, "I'm definitely hoping to start spending more time here." She smiled. "So… maybe?"

Chin moved to greet Steve while Lou was engulfing Catherine in a hug.

"It's not like you to play hooky," the older Hawaiian man said to Steve quietly, "but you look happy, brah,"

Steve watched Catherine chat with Lou for a moment before replying. "At the moment, I am," he acknowledged.

Danny slapped Steve on the back as he passed by on his way to greet Catherine. "Catherine, it's good to see you."

"You too, Danny," she replied.

Although she'd seen most of the team several months ago in Morocco when they flew over to assist on the Doris-rescue op, Danny hadn't been able to make that trip. So, he and Catherine hadn't seen or spoken to one another in almost 2 years.

"How are you doing, since the transplant?" she asked.

"I'm good. My liver's all back to normal size, so other than the ugly scar, it's like it never happened," he joked.

"Yeah, but it did. And I know you probably think it's not my place anymore to say this, but thank you for saving Steve's life. I'm very grateful he's still here."

"Me, too." Danny told her.

At that moment Kono hurried out of her office calling, "Sorry, I was on the phone." She pulled Catherine into a hug. "It's so good to see you, sistah."

"You too, Kono."

They separated but stayed close speaking quietly.

"How's married life?" Catherine asked. "I was sorry to hear about Adam's time away,"

"He's good and we're pretty happy," Kono replied. "It's been an adjustment for him since he got out, but we're making it work. How are you? And how long are you staying for? Will you have time to get together?"

"I'm good. It's really nice to be back here, and it'd be nice to get together."

Kono smiled.

"Actually," Steve said, "we were wondering if everyone was free to get together tonight. It seems pretty quiet, any reason you can't knock off early? Maybe see if Melissa, Abby, Renee and Adam are available, too?"

Unfortunately, short notice and a school night made it tough for Danny, Lou and Chin because of their kids' schedules so they decided to plan something for Friday evening instead. They all chatted a bit longer until Steve and Catherine took their leave to head back to Steve's house.

* * *

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **2020 hours**

After sharing a pizza and a bottle of wine they sat on the sofa together.

"I should probably go to work tomorrow, at least for part of the day," Steve told her, "and you're heading into the field office for your meetings, right?" She nodded. "I know we haven't always had the best track record for it, but I'd like to take you to dinner. How about that sushi place on King St.?"

Catherine's eyes lit up like he knew they would. "Hmmm… That's sounds really good, I'd like that."

Steve snorted. "I thought you might," he teased. "I'll see about getting a reservation."

"You know, you're making a pretty good dent in paying back that list of favors you owed me," she teased right back, then bit her bottom lip. "Why don't we go upstairs and maybe we can knock off a few more?"

Steve had no doubts what she was proposing and he was more than ready to participate. He turned toward her, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

"Oh?" he played along, "Was there something in particular you had in mind?" He leaned in to give her a kiss that she was happy to reciprocate and it quickly became heated. The time for teasing was gone, they both knew exactly what they wanted. "We can go upstairs, but the guest room's closer," he told her huskily.

He stood and held out a hand for her and tugged her behind him to the room by the kitchen. They were barely in the door when he turned and pushed her against the wall, kissing her like it was their last day on Earth. He'd forgotten how amazing it was to be with her like this, and he just couldn't get enough.

He felt her hands reach up under his shirt as she raked her nails across his abs and he tensed, pulling back slightly.

Concerned, she stopped immediately. "Steve? What is it?"

He gently removed her hands from under his shirt and held them. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not as ready as I thought." He didn't want to lie to Catherine, but he didn't want to admit that he was feeling self-conscious about the scars from his transplant. He had lots of scars, but none ever bothered him as much as these did. He wasn't sure if it was the scars themselves or what they represented, that the Navy no longer considered him fit for duty.

Catherine had an inkling what was bothering him, and she was frustrated that he was holding back when he'd promised just hours ago to let her in. She knew it would take time to adjust, it wouldn't happen overnight, but she was determined to talk about it, one way or another.

"Oh? Maybe we can remedy that," she said as she planted little kisses along his jawline, "and if you'd be more comfortable," she moved closer to his ear, "you can leave your shirt on," she sucked his earlobe into her mouth and bit down gently, "but I'd rather you didn't."

He sighed, mentally kicking himself for forgetting how well she knew him.

When he didn't speak, she put some space between them and continued. "When you told me about the transplant I didn't feel like it was my place to ask a lot of questions, so as soon as I could I did some research. I wanted to know as much as I could about what you'd gone through and what to expect. I saw photos of transplant scars, so I have an idea what yours looks like.

It probably starts around here somewhere," she said as she placed her hand on his chest, "and continues straight down," she continued quietly before running her hand lightly down toward his navel, giving him goosebumps, "then it probably splits and extends out on both sides," she added her other hand, running both lightly along the bottom of his rib cage. She moved her hands to his hips and looked up at him. "If I'm being honest it may still make me a little emotional, thinking about what you went through and how I wasn't here to help you through it, but that's on me and I'll deal with it." She wrapped her arms around his back and clasped her hands behind him. "It definitely doesn't make me think any less of you, though. Just the opposite because it's visual proof of how strong you are to have survived."

He gazed at her for a long moment, drinking in the sight of her in front of him. Then he proceeded to wrap one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist and pull her flush against him before taking her mouth with his. It started as a kiss full of love and promises for the future and rapidly became much deeper, with their tongues battling for dominance and their hands roaming everywhere. Wanting to be skin-on-skin Steve broke away just long enough to pull Catherine's shirt up and over her head, He paused to take a deep breath before repeating the action with his, finally revealing the scars that were promptly forgotten in their lust for each other. He placed his hands on the backs of her thighs and she wrapped her legs around his hips while he carried her to the bed and laid her down gently. He reached around to unclasp her bra and let it fall to the floor before covering her body with his.

He kissed her long and soft and deep, relishing in the feel of having her underneath him once again. His free hand roamed her body, tugging and caressing while her fingers tangled in his hair, rubbing and scratching at his scalp. God, how he wanted her. He reached between them to unfasten her shorts and rolled slightly to the side so he could slide them down her legs, using his foot to push them off onto the floor. He watched her eyes close as he slowly traced two fingers over her breasts, across her belly button and lower until his rough hands just barely caught on the purple lace she still wore. He moved to slide off the last remaining barrier between them but when she stiffened almost imperceptibly he stopped cold and dragged his eyes back up to her face.

She was still for a moment, then opened her eyes to find him watching her. "Steve?"

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" he asked quietly.

She smiled and reached a hand out, "Of course," she tilted her head in question, "why wouldn't I be?"

He shifted to the left so he could lay on his side next to her, head propped on his hand. "Cath," he said, his tone telling her he didn't believe her.

She sighed and turned to face him, grabbing a pillow and hugging it so she was covered. He grew more concerned, sitting up as well.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "It's not that I don't want you right now. I do. So much you have no idea."

"Then what?"

"It's nothing," she replied.

He tentatively placed his right hand on her thigh, watching carefully for signs it made her uncomfortable but none were visible. "Hey, I can tell there's something on your mind, and it's probably something we need to talk about. Am I making you uncomfortable, did I do something?"

"No. It's nothing you did," she said. "I'm sorry. You're right. There is something that's on my mind, but I'm not sure how to talk to you about it, or even if I should."

Steve's eyes widened and he sat upright as something occurred to him that chilled him to his bones. "Oh my God. Catherine, did someone hurt you? Were you…" he trailed off and looked up, loathe to finish the thought.

"No," she said vehemently. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. "No," she shook her head. "Steve, look at me," she said and waited for him to do as she asked. "It's nothing like that, I promise."

He released a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding and relaxed slightly. "Okay," he said quietly, as if trying to convince himself, "okay." He looked at her. "What, then? I really want you to be able to talk to me and it's kind of freaking me out that you obviously don't feel comfortable doing that."

She bit her lip. "Lynn," she said simply.

"What about her?"

She shrugged. "I assume you…" she gestured helplessly with her hand, "slept with her."

Steve smiled encouragingly, thinking he knew what was on her mind. "Cath, I'm clean. We always used protection. The only person I've ever not done that with was you. But it's no problem for me to get checked out."

"That's really sweet, but I'm not worried about that. I trust you."

Steve's smile faded. "Then what is it Cath? I can't help if I don't know what's bothering you."

"That's the thing. I'm not really sure." She could see he was getting frustrated and finally just spit it out. "I'm sorry. I pictured the two of you together, doing what we were about to be doing and…" She trailed off, not feeling like she needed to spell it out. "I guess I'm struggling with you being with her. I know it's not fair of me, because it's my fault you were moving on, and I can't blame you for that. But, still…" She shrugged and looked away.

Steve sighed. He hated that his relationship with Lynn was causing her pain. He never would have dated anyone else if he thought for a minute he and Catherine had a chance of a reconciliation, but things had been so different back then. "It's okay. It is." He reassured her but she still didn't look at him. "Hey," he said and waited for her to turn back. "I understand how you feel; I felt the same way about you and Harrington."

She looked at him, surprised. "I never realized that, you hid it so well." She thought for a moment. "Wait, if it bothered you, how were you okay with me working with him before he died?"

"Um… I let him push my buttons?" he quipped. She looked at him, confused and he shook his head, letting her know he wasn't going to elaborate on that particular comment. "It bothered me the most when we were apart," he gestured with his hand, "because I knew you were with him then and I was realizing I'd made a stupid mistake letting you go. I knew it wasn't fair of me to blame you for being with him after I'd broken it off and pushed you away. I mean, neither of us knew at the time I'd get my head out of my ass a few months later."

He smirked at her then turned serious. "I was still jealous, though, even though I told myself I had no right to feel that way. Then later on, I don't know, I was able to put it aside. Honestly, you working with him kind of bugged me, but I trusted you and knew there was never anybody else while we were together. I guess I took comfort in knowing Billy had gotten only a small taste of what was mine for the rest of my life." He looked at her then backtracked, adding hurriedly, "And I don't mean that I believe you belonged to me in any way, just that when we were together…" he looked up, searching for the right words, "I knew I should feel honored that you chose me to share that intimacy with."

She gaped at him for a moment, hung up on something he'd said. "You thought back then we were going to be together for the rest of our lives?"

He shrugged like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Yeah. You didn't?"

"I… _hoped_ , I think. But I didn't think you felt the same way."

"I'm full of surprises," he teased before his smile faded. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know how I felt. How important you were to me."

She shrugged. "I always suspected, but I didn't want to presume too much because I didn't think you were in a place where you could make that kind of commitment."

"I was **_always_** committed to you. Even though I never told you," he sighed. "It was always you. But we were always apart back then, never in the same place long enough to have a," he inserted finger quotes, "real relationship. And then, after I came home it was Hiro Noshimouri and Wo Fat and El Condor…" he trailed off, shuddering as he recalled that particular experience. "I needed to protect you from them and making anything official would been painting a target on your back." He took her hand before continuing. "But they're gone now, and I feel like I can finally start to really live my life. Maybe have some of the things that I never thought would be possible..." He didn't need to continue, she knew he meant a stable relationship, maybe marriage and a family.

She was incredibly touched and realized the fact he'd been with Lynn didn't matter so much anymore. Rather than picturing Steve with the pretty blonde she'd met months before she had a vision of him hovering above _her_ , gazing into _her_ eyes as he possessed _her_ so completely that they couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. She trembled with the anticipation of it and suddenly couldn't wait any longer.

"That's incredibly sweet of you to say," she leaned in, tossing the pillow aside so she could get close enough to outline his ear with her tongue. "But can I tell you a secret?"

He nodded, already reacting to the sensation of her mouth on him. He'd forgotten how responsive his body had always been with her and the things she could do to him with something as simple as a look.

"I did belong to you, my heart, my body and my soul."

He was deeply affected by her words and pulled her to him in a crushing embrace, like he was hanging on for dear life. She happily wrapped her arms around him, wanting to never let go. But it was only for a few moments before he leaned back just enough to crash his mouth down on hers, almost desperately, like he was drowning and she had the power to save him. She tried to deepen the kiss but he pulled back again, leaning in for two quick pecks before putting enough distance between them to search her face in an unspoken question.

When she smiled, bit her lip and climbed over to sit on his lap he knew she was ready to finish what they'd started earlier. She cradled his face and slanted her mouth across his, probing with her tongue until he gave her access. He tangled his hands in her hair, loving the feel of the silky strands slipping through his fingers. He was incredibly turned on by her actions and knew she could feel the proof of his desire.

He shifted so he could lift her enough to turn and lay her down on the bed next to him before settling on top of her. He cupped her cheek but didn't move in to kiss her, instead just gazed at her face.

"Steve?" she questioned.

"I just want to look at you for a minute," he told her softly. "I'm so glad you're here. You're so beautiful, Cath, and I missed you so much." _And I love you_ , _but why is it still so hard for me to tell you that?_ Wanting to express what he could not vocalize he finally closed the distance between them to kiss and suck along her jawline before moving down her throat and nipping at the spot he remembered drove her crazy.

Catherine couldn't help but wrap her arms around his shoulders and one of her legs around his waist. She had missed him so much and couldn't believe this was real and not a dream. After everything she'd done she could scarcely believe he was willing to take her back and… _Oh God_ , _that feels amazing._ This wasn't the time for those three little words that were on her lips, begging to be said so she returned her full attention to Steve and lost herself in the sensations of him worshipping her body with his own. There would be definitely be more time to talk later…

* * *

An hour later they lay together, Catherine draped over Steve, her head on his shoulder, while they both tried to catch their breath.

"Hmmmmm," Catherine moaned softly, "that was amazing."

"Yeah it was," Steve agreed.

Catherine lifted her head and reached down for the sheet, pulling it up over their cooling bodies as she settled against Steve's side pillowing her cheek on his shoulder and resting her hand on his abdomen.

"I mean it was always good, but that was just…"

"Yup," he agreed, eyes still closed.

"I'm serious," she told him. "Why do you think it felt different?"

He opened his eyes to look at her. "Maybe because it's been so long, I don't know." He grinned. "Do we really need to analyze why we had mind-blowing sex?" he teased, stretching to kiss her.

"No, I suppose not," she replied, smiling, once they had both come up for air. Her smile faded and she pulled away. "We probably do need to talk about some things, though."

He nodded. "We do," he said, before turning on his right side to face her and scooching back so there was room for her to share his pillow. He patted it and she lay down next to him, entwining their legs.

She looked at his chest, tentatively reaching a hand out to ghost it over his transplant scar. "I'm sorry," she told him.

"For what?" he asked.

"That I wasn't here for you when you were going through this. It's my fault we missed so much time."

Steve sighed heavily and sat up, leaning back against the headboard. "You've already told me you're sorry, and I believe you. You're the one who left, but I'm the one who wasn't willing to wait. That was my choice. So, it's not all on you."

She sat up as well, shaking her head. "How can-"

He interrupted, gesturing with his hand. "Catherine. You can't keep blaming yourself, or we're never going to be able to get past this. We both got hurt and we both need to deal with it or we can't move on." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb. "I really want us to move on. Together. And you told me that's what you want, too. Or have you changed your mind?"

Her eyes were wet when she shook her head. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "No. I still want that. But just because we want something doesn't mean we can have it."

He gathered her in his arms and placed a gentle kiss on top of her head. "Well I'm not willing to give up without a fight, so let's try to figure it out, okay?"

She nodded and they settled in to talk, it was going to be a long night.

* * *

 _A/N: I'm not sure how good I am at writing love scenes, and I tried to include some details while keeping it as PG as possible. I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter. I hope nobody was offended and that you enjoyed a nice dose of McRoll._


	8. Chapter 8

_Wow! You all continue to amaze me with your wonderful reviews. Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this story, especially those of you who have taken time to leave some feedback. I can't reply to the guest reviewers personally, but please know your comments are appreciated just as much!_

 _I've finalized my posting schedule and you'll continue to get a chapter a day through the end (and don't worry - there's lots more to come!). I apologize for the late posting today, it was kind of a crazy day. I'll try to post earlier tomorrow._

 _I hope you enjoy this next chapter!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 8

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Wednesday, 1010 hours**

Steve leaned into Danny's office "I'm going to head out."

"Wait, you're leaving for the day?" Danny pushed his chair back. "Where you going?"

"I have a couple errands to run." Steve answered dryly. "That okay with you?"

"At ten in the morning on a Wednesday? Everything okay?"

Steve entered the room fully and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. "Yeah, fine. I just want to pick up a few things for the house."

"And I'll say it again…" Danny said with an arm flourish, "at 10 o'clock on a Wednesday?"

"Yes. Catherine's out for a while and I want to get it taken care of before she gets back."

"Ah," Danny said, knowingly. "So, how are things going with you two?"

"Good."

Danny sighed. "You know, your loquaciousness never ceases to amaze me," he said sarcastically.

Steve knew his partner wasn't going to let it go so he crossed to the sofa and sat. "We decided we're going to give it another try."

Danny sat forward in his chair but didn't speak for several moments as he watched his partner. "You're sure about this?" he finally asked.

Steve nodded. "I am. I love her Danny. She's it for me and I don't want to be with anyone else."

"So, what? She's quitting the CIA?"

"No, you don't just quit the CIA."

"So, what then?"

"She's going to keep working for a while. And when she's between assignments she'll come here."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. As long as it takes."

"And you're just going to wait for her?"

"Yes, Danny. I am just going to wait for her. We'll be in touch as much as possible while she's in the field, but… yeah, I'll be waiting."

"That hardly seems fair."

"Danny, it's not really much different than all those years I was deployed, especially the five years I spent tracking the Hesse brothers."

"Yeah, but back then she was working, too. It's not like she was sitting around at home waiting."

Steve was exasperated. "Danny, I'm not quitting Five-0 and I hardly think I'll be sitting around. You do remember what this job entails, right?"

Danny rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah," he mumbled, "I remember."

"What she's doing is important Danny, she's out there making a difference. I can't just expect her to stop doing that."

"I get that," Danny acknowledged. "I get that it wouldn't be fair of you to expect that." He paused, as if considering whether we wanted to say something. "But that doesn't mean it's not okay to want it." He looked at the former Navy man for a moment. "You do want it, right?" he asked quietly.

Steve looked up and exhaled before refocusing on his friend. "Yeah. You know I do. But I'm willing to wait."

"And you're sure about this?"

"Yes, Daniel. I'm sure."

"All right." The blonde rose and walked around the desk. "Then I'm happy for you."

He and Steve embraced for a moment and slapped each other on the back as men do.

"So, what exactly is it you're doing this afternoon?"

Steve looked over, momentarily confused by the question. "Oh, uh, I'm getting some new bedding and stuff for the room and having a bed delivered."

"You're…" Danny cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"Catherine's moving in," Steve said, choosing not to elaborate. The truth was, although Lynn had never lived with him, she had stayed over many times and he didn't want to share that same bed with Catherine. They'd stayed in the guest room the previous night but he didn't intend on making that a permanent arrangement. They were starting fresh and he felt like redoing part of the room would help symbolize that so he had purchased a new headboard and was picking up new bedding, pillows and towels. His plan was to finish shopping in time to get home and wash the linens before the delivery came. He wanted to get the bed made before he picked up Catherine and her luggage. She was checking out of the hotel and officially moving in to the beach house. He wanted to get everything finished up before she returned from her teleconference and meetings at the CIA field office.

Obviously, they would have to clean out and relinquish her apartment in Virginia, but she didn't have a lot of belongings there or in her storage unit. However, they would empty them both and transfer those possessions to Steve's house in Hawaii so they could start making it their home together.

Timing was tight because he expected her home early afternoon. She had a secure video call with Langley and due to the time difference with the East coast she should be wrapping it up around 1200 hours. With some time allowed for follow-up with the director of the local office and traffic getting out of downtown he estimated she'd be back at the beach house by 1430. Plus, they also had early reservations for dinner and Steve wanted to get Catherine settled beforehand so there was nothing to do when they got home from the restaurant. He felt a small pang of guilt about lying to her about his plans for the day, but he was sure she would love the surprise and all would be forgiven.

"You don't think that's moving kinda fast?"

"Fast, Danny?" Steve exclaimed. "Really? I was ready to marry her. I don't think just living together is moving too fast."

"Speaking of that…"

"I'm not gonna propose, Danny."

Danny waved his hand in a 'more information please' gesture. When no further details were forthcoming he asked, "Now? Or Ever?"

"Not now. Someday… Maybe." Steve shrugged, then admitted quietly. "I don't really know right now."

Danny could tell Steve didn't want to elaborate so he didn't push and instead just asked, "But it's not off the table?"

"No." Steve shook his head. "Not off the table."

"Hey, man. I get it." Danny placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know I give you a hard time about this, but the honest truth is I've never seen anyone else make you as happy as she does."

Steve nodded. "Yeah." He agreed, smiling softly for a moment before looking at his watch. "Listen, partner, I need to get going, I'm kind of on a tight schedule here."

"Okay. You guys have plans for dinner?"

"Yeah. Reservations at eighteen hundred." Steve turned and headed for the door.

"Why can't you just say six o'clock?" Danny grumbled.

Steve kept moving but said over his shoulder, "Because the 24-hour clock is more precise. There's a reason it's used in most of the world." Danny rolled his eyes though Steve, who was already out the door, didn't notice.

* * *

After leaving the Palace Steve found himself stuck in the infamous Honolulu traffic debating whether he could justify running lights and sirens. His conversation with Danny was on his mind and he thought back to a similar discussion with Catherine the prior evening.

She wanted to recommit to their relationship but was struggling with her fear of hurting him again. Unfortunately, the discussion had gotten a little heated.

 _"So, what's the process for severing your relationship with the company?" he'd asked, running his hand softly down her arm as he lay facing her. "Can you do that over the phone, or do you need to go to Langley?"_

 _"Uh, I'm not exactly sure, I may have to go in person."_

 _"I could go with you…" he offered, grasping her hand and squeezing it._

 _"Um… why would you want to do that?" she asked, hesitatingly, shifting to put a bit more space between them. "Do you not trust me?"_

 _"No, I trust you," he told her, mirroring her actions but shifting towards her to close the distance. "I just would like to see you as much as I can," he told her softly, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I know I won't be able to go with you when you're in the field, but that wouldn't be the case here. Can you start making inquiries tomorrow? Find out what's going to be involved?"_

 _"Uh, yeah, I guess so."_

 _"Cath?" he sat up some, leaning up on one arm. "Are you rethinking the decision to get out of the CIA? I thought you said you chose me."_

 _"I do choose you," she reassured him. "But they're not going to let me go easily."_

 _"I know, but that's why you should start the process ASAP, right?"_

 _"Right, right," she said, not quite convincingly._

 _"Cath?" he adjusted to sit up, leaning against the headboard. "What's going on?"_

 _She sat up as well, facing him. "What if we can't make it work?" she said hesitatingly. "What happens…"_

 _"You mean, what happens if you gave up the CIA for me and it doesn't work out? Is that what you're asking? Then I guess you'll have to figure it out then." He was starting to worry that she'd changed her mind and was covering his concern with anger. "You having second thoughts, now? That's great," he said. "You told me you chose me," he exclaimed, pointing at her for emphasis. "That's what you said. I'm willing to try again after all the shit you put me though. I'm committed to this and I've already started to let you back in, to open myself up to you again. And now you're telling me that you might not be ready?" He looked away, breathing heavily._

 _"You about done?" she asked, anger evident in her tone._

 _He turned to look at her. "Yeah, I'm done."_

 _"Good," she fixed him with a glare. "First of all, I never said I changed my mind. I'm choosing you, I'm committed to giving up the CIA for you. I told you that and I meant it," she said, "But it's complicated."_

 _"Really," he said, using sarcasm to cover his fear of what she would say, "you can't just text them your resignation?"_

 _"You know what, Steve?" she told him, firmly. "We do need to have this conversation, but only if you drop the attitude. Otherwise we can end what had been an amazing evening on this note and pick it up again another day. Your choice."_

 _Steve, realizing she was right, took several deep breaths to calm himself, rolling the tension out of his shoulders for a minute before he felt calm enough to continue._

 _"I'm sorry," he told her sincerely. "I shouldn't have attacked you like that. I jumped to conclusions and that's not fair to you."_

 _"You're right, it's not fair," she replied with a shake of her head, but then continued in a softer tone. "But I'm trying to understand. I know I hurt you badly and it's going take some time for you to really trust me again. I get that, and I just hope we'll get back there someday."_

 _Steve sighed. "Yeah that's probably part of it. And I do think we'll get there, but like you said, it's going to take time."_

 _She nodded her agreement. "I'm sorry, too, because I was holding back and I need to be honest, even if what I say upsets you."_

 _Steve looked down his lap and took a deep breath, before looking back at her. "You're right. I need to let you talk and really listen to what you have to say."_

 _"I am one hundred percent committed to getting out of the CIA so I can be here full time with you," she told him. "That's what I want, and I know you may struggle with believing that, but I'm asking you to trust me anyway." She looked at him for a moment, making sure she had his full attention. "This operation I've been working on, it's important to me because it's the reason I hurt you and we lost so much time. And as much as I want to be here with you, I'm hesitant to just hand it over to someone else. And if I start making noise about getting out there may be repercussions, so I feel like I need to tread lightly, at least for now," she said, then waited for Steve's response._

 _"Okay," he nodded. "I guess I can understand that. Do have an idea how to proceed?"_

 _"Um… I was thinking of reaching out to Doris," she said and grimaced, anticipating Steve's reaction, but she was pleasantly surprised when he didn't get upset._

 _He nodded thoughtfully. "That actually makes sense. She has insurance policies in place to protect herself and us, and she's been through something like this herself."_

 _"Yeah," Catherine agreed. "Are you okay with her knowing about us?"_

 _He nodded. "Yeah, we talked in Morocco and I think we're in a good place now. I believe she wants me to be happy. She may give you a hard time, though."_

 _"No," Catherine told him, knowingly. "She'll be thrilled, trust me."_

 _He cocked his head at her but decided not to ask for details. He chuckled. "Okay, then we have a plan."_

 _"Yeah, we do," she told him, but he could hear the uncertainty._

 _"Is there something else that's bothering you?" he asked._

 _"You were going to propose," she said, quietly, "and we haven't really talked about that."_

 _"I was," he agreed, "and we haven't." He was quiet for a moment, searching her eyes. "Honestly, it's not really something I like to talk about," he sighed, "but maybe we should. Do you want to?"_

 _"Do you still want to get married?" she asked, then continued quickly, not giving him a chance to answer her question. "I just... you deserve to be with someone you can make a life with and maybe have a family. I know you want that. And we," she gestured between them, "both know that's not me right now and the clock is ticking. You told me just a few days ago you wondered if all the sacrifices were worth it, and this is just another sacrifice you'll have to make."_

 _He was quiet for a moment, searching for the proper words. "I feel like I would still like to be married to you. To be able to call you my wife. Someday. But something's different now, our relationship will never be the same as it was." He paused, holding up a hand to stall her interruption. "But that's okay. It doesn't have to be the same; I think we can make it better. But it's going to take us time to rebuild. Besides, to me marriage means being able to come home to you every night and wake up next to you every morning, and that's not in the cards until you get out." He gestured helplessly. "Maybe it's silly." He shrugged, seeming lost._

 _"So, maybe we need to slow down and rethink this," she said, softly._

 _"I don't understand. I thought this is what you wanted," he told her._

 _"I do," she admitted quietly._

 _He sighed heavily. "I feel like every time we take a step forward you want to drag us two steps back," he exclaimed, getting frustrated. "Why-"_

 _"I'm sorry—"_

 _"Don't apologize!" he exclaimed, and then pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to remain calm. "Just… why are you fighting me so hard on this?"_

 _"Because I think you deserve better," she confessed._

 _Steve closed his eyes, inhaled and exhaled several long, cleansing breaths. "Do you trust me?"_

 _"With my life," she told him unequivocally and without hesitation._

 _"Then why can't you trust me on this?" he asked. "I appreciate that you think you're looking out for me. But I'm a grown ass man, Catherine, and I've experienced a lot of shit in my life," he took her hand and locked his eyes with hers, "I know what I want and I believe we can make this work." His gaze never wavered as he continued. "And I don't live in a fantasy world, either. I am going into this with my eyes wide open and am acutely aware of what I'm signing up for." She looked away, but he moved so he was in her line of vision. "Catherine," He grasped her hand and squeezed. "Hey," he waited until she met his gaze then continued gently. "I choose you. And it's important that you understand that because it's a big deal." He squeezed her hand again. "I'd rather be in a long-distance relationship with you than a marriage with anyone else. And if that means we don't get married that's okay because you're more important to me. I love that you want what's best for me, but you need to trust me when I tell you that what's best for me is you."_

 _"I'm sorry-"_

 _He shook his head. "Stop apologizing," he told her. "You don't have to. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, or make you feel guilty. I just want to be honest, I don't want any more secrets between us." He swallowed, and closed his eyes for a moment. "I just assumed we'd be on the same page, but I guess I should have asked how you feel about this. Does this change anything?"_

 _"I heard what you said, and I don't think it's silly at all." She sighed. "But, I don't think marriage is about geography, I think it's about promising to share your life with somebody and making a commitment to do that. How many people did we know in the Navy who are married? They spend months away from their families. Does that diminish their relationship somehow? Does that make them less committed?"_

 _Steve shook his head, slowly, considering her words. "No, you're right," he said, obviously deep in thought._

 _"I would very much like to be married to you, too. I don't think I ever realized how much I wanted it until I found out you were planning to propose. But even if I came home for good tomorrow, I agree that we're not there yet. We still have too much to figure out before we could think about taking a step like that."_

 _He nodded. "You're right."_

 _"But I'd really like to be able to hold on to the idea that maybe someday…"_

 _"Me, too," he assured her. "You're sure you're okay with this? Because I'm still in, one hundred percent. And if you're not I need you to tell me now, before this goes any farther."_

 _Catherine took a breath and squeezed Steve's hand. "I'm in, all the way. I can't promise that I won't apologize again, or worry about either one of us getting hurt, but I promise I'll try."_

 _"So, we're doing this, right?" he asked with a grin. "We're officially getting back together?"_

 _She smiled and commented. "Looks like it. I still can't believe how lucky I am that you're willing to let me back into your life."_

 _"I feel pretty lucky myself," he told her. "And I promise to do a better job demonstrating that."_

 _"I don't deserve you, sailor."_

 _"Eh, probably not." He teased. "But I have an idea how you can make it up to me…"_

A car horn sounding nearby brought Steve out of his recollection and he smiled, blushing as he recalled exactly how she'd 'made it up to him'. He would never admit it to anyone, well maybe to Catherine, but after their hike earlier in the day he was surprised he'd had the stamina for the second go-round. But, then again, he'd always felt like he could never get enough of her and he was happy that was still the case.

Her words about married members of the armed forces had stuck with him. The situation he and Catherine were facing was not dissimilar to personnel facing deployment. As a member of the SEALs he'd been called up on short notice and could never tell anyone where he was going or how long he'd be gone. He understood it wasn't easy for those being left behind; there was a reason most SEALs weren't married and many that had tried ended up divorced. There was an expression he'd heard many times, that it takes a special kind of person to be married to a SEAL. He always thought Catherine was that kind of person, but had never considered it for himself.

What would taking vows really change? It would make things official, an automatic next of kin. But they could designate that for medical or insurance purposes. Marriage, though, that would bestow upon each of them certain rights reserved only for spouses. Like the folded flag at a military funeral. He had possession of the flags that had draped both his grandfather's and father's coffins and he cherished them. In the event of his death, his flag would go to his mother or Mary. But he was realizing it was important to him that it go to Catherine, that she have the honor of receiving it. And he realized he would like to be the one to receive her flag, although the thought of having to bury her sent a shiver down his spine. He knew this wasn't something he could decide now, but there were definitely things to think about.

* * *

 _A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I t_ _hink Danny handled pretty well the news that Steve and Catherine are officially back together and that she's moving in. He's understandably still concerned that his friend will be hurt again, especially given the situation they're facing with the CIA and Catherine's current mission. But he is being supportive as Steve asked, which isn't too difficult for him since he's already seeing how happy Steve is to have Catherine back on the island._

 _Steve has a lot to think about in regards to marriage. They agree they both want that with each other, and it's too soon. But will they really need to wait until Catherine's out of the CIA? Lots more to come - the next chapter will be up tomorrow._


	9. Chapter 9

_Here's the next chapter and it includes some McRoll one-on-one and also some time with the team - I hope you enjoy! Again I would like to express my thanks to those who are continuing to read, especially everyone who's been leaving reviews and providing feedback. It's very valuable and much appreciated. And I have to admit that I am humbled that we are almost up to 100 reviews on this story - thank you so much for such a positive response!_

 _There were a couple guest reviewers who inquired about Catherine's dedication to her current mission. In my mind it's not that the target is a personal enemy of hers; it's just an assignment she was given. But she's dedicated over two years of her life to it and she's invested in wanting to see it through. Plus, it's the reason she had to lie to Steve and why they broke up the last time she left Oahu and spent the next two years without the person they love in their lives. If she doesn't complete the mission she feels like she'll have nothing to show for all the heartache she and Steve went through. I hope that helps answer your question!_

 _We still have a long way to go and I really hope the story will continue to hold your attention because I'd really hate to disappoint anyone!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 9

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Thursday, 0730 hours**

Steve entered the bedroom, towel draped across his neck and still damp from his swim. He was frustrated that he still couldn't manage his usual distance, but the radiation sickness had taken a toll on his endurance and it would take more time to get back to what he was used to. He paused for a moment to look at Catherine sleeping peacefully, arms curled under her head, and his frustration was replaced with contentment. He couldn't believe she was back in his life, living in his house and sleeping in his bed. _No_ , he corrected himself, _our_ _house, our bed._

As if she sensed she was being watched she stirred and opened her eyes, seeing him in the doorway. She smiled and it made his heart soar.

"Good morning, Commander," she said and he grinned. Her smile brightened in response and she cocked her head in inquiry.

"I love that," he answered her unspoken question.

"What? Me saying 'good morning'?"

"Yes." He crossed to her side of the bed and she rolled over to face him as he lowered one knee to the floor. "And the _way_ you say it." He ran two fingers along her cheek, brushing stray hair out of her face. "And the fact that you're here to say it." He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips. "To have you in my bed again, I can't even…" He shook his head, and sighed contentedly.

"Part of me wishes I could stay all the time," she said softly.

"Yeah?" He brightened. "You know I would love that."

She sat up and scooched back to lean against the headboard as he rose and perched on the edge of the bed. "But you know part of me really wants to finish this operation. I can't tell you much I wish I could do it from here."

"I know," he said quietly and sighed heavily. He wished she'd said she was ready to just let someone else deal with it and stay with him full time. He dreaded the idea of her leaving again, but he had told her he would wait for her and he meant it.

"Steve, are you sure this what you want?"

"What? You being here?"

"No. I mean, I know you want that, and I do, too." Her eyes searched his face. "I never thought, in my wildest dreams, that we've ever be together like this again, and it's so amazing to have you back in my life. I know we talked about this the other night, but I just… I feel we're in the perfect little bubble right now, but the reality is I _am_ going to have to leave again and I… I guess I'm still struggling with the idea that you're going to be okay with that when it happens."

"I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I won't hate it. Because I will. But I can handle it. And I will miss you every moment you're away, but I will be so thrilled to see you come home again. I don't want to make the same mistakes with you that I made with my dad. I wasted so much time feeling hurt and angry with him, and now he's gone, and I wish every day that we had more time together."

"You are amazing and I still don't feel like I deserve you. You know that, right?"

He smirked. "You do, but if you _really_ feel like you need to make it up to me…" He was teasing, but she could see the heat building in his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him.

He pulled back, slightly out of breath and stood. "Just let me just get these wet boardies off," he said sliding them down over his hips, "and I'm all yours." She was sliding down the bed as he rejoined her, running his hand up under her sleep shirt and letting it rest on her flushed skin as he leaned over to take her mouth with his. When the need to breathe caused them to pull apart she moved away just enough to pull her top over her head before wrapping her arms securely around him and pulling him down to finish what they'd started.

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **0915 hours**

Steve was whistling as he entered the bullpen, called out "Good morning!" and proceeded into his office. Kono watched him and smiled. She knew it was Catherine's presence on the island that was making her friend so happy and she was thrilled for him. She was looking forward to spending time with both of them at their team dinner the following evening, catching up with Catherine and finding out whether she was actually staying permanently. She knew Steve had been planning to propose before Catherine left the last time and hoped this time they really might live happily ever after.

Her phone chimed with a text and she glanced to see a message from Catherine.

 _Morning! You free for lunch today?_

She smiled, loving the opportunity to spend some time with her friend. Except for the quick visit after their hike Steve had been keeping her all to himself since she arrived. She typed out a quick reply, knowing Catherine would understand plans would have to change if they caught a case.

 _Hopefully. :)_ _Where and when?_

They decided on Kamekona's so Catherine could say hello to the big guy and satisfy a craving she'd had since arriving on the island. Pleased with their plans Kono set down her phone and got back to work.

* * *

It was a relatively slow day at the office as Five-0 didn't currently have a high-priority case so almost three hours later all team members were still present and working at their desks. Steve was reading reports regarding current trends in crime and trying not to let his mind wander. His phone vibrated on his desk and he turned it over to check the screen.

 _Hey, sailor. How's your day going?_

He smiled and typed his reply.

 _Fine. How's yours?_

 _Not a lot going on. You up for some company?_

 _From you? I'd love it._

 _Okay, see you soon._

Steve looked up not a minute later to see an HPD officer escorting Catherine through the glass doors. He rose from his desk and made his way out to the bullpen. "Thanks, Luka," he told the officer and made a mental note to add Catherine to the list of approved personnel so she wouldn't need to be signed in and escorted every time.

He leaned in to brush a kiss across her lips as Chin and Danny were exiting their offices. "You weren't kidding when you said 'soon'. Where were you?"

Catherine greeted the other Five-0 members before answering Steve's question.

"Uh… would you believe in the lobby?"

Steve's eyebrows shot up. "Yes. Yes, I would. But why?"

"Since I only packed for a week I figured I would need more clothes so I don't have to keep wearing the same things over and over. I came into town to do some shopping but that only took a couple hours. So, I thought I'd stop by. You're sure this is a good time?" She bit her lip.

Just then Kono entered the double doors engrossed in conversation with Lou, who was right behind her and upon seeing Catherine addressed the other woman. "Hey Cath. Did I mess up? I thought were meeting at Kamekona's."

"You guys are having lunch?" Steve said with only a little pout.

"Yes," she said to Steve before addressing Kono. "No, you're right, we said we'd meet at 1:00. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by to see everyone."

She locked eyes with her friend, asking a silent question and Kono took the hint, knowing Catherine was looking forward to spending one-on-one time with her but also wanted to see as much of Steve as possible.

"Why don't the rest of you join us?" Kono asked.

"Yeah, that'd be great, it's been so long since I've had lunch with all of you," Catherine added.

They agreed to meet back in an hour and then returned to their offices. Steve opened his door to let Catherine walk ahead of him and she paused to let him decide where to sit. He stopped behind her, wrapped his arms around her middle and put his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said softly.

She leaned her head against his. "Are you sure you're not too busy?"

He moved back slightly to turn her around to face him. "For you? Never." She fixed him with a look. "Okay," he relented, "there will be times when I'll be working on something that will have to take precedence. But I promise I'll try to make time for you whenever I can, alright?"

She nodded, her eyes shining, and he leaned forward to press a tender kiss to her lips as she wrapped her arms up around his shoulders and held him tightly. Although both would have liked to take it farther, they were keenly aware they were at Steve's workplace behind glass walls. They broke the kiss after a minute although they stayed in each other's arms, snuggled together.

"I love you," Catherine said quietly, her voice muffled by Steve's shirt.

Steve stiffened for a moment before tightening his hold on her, tucking her in under his chin. He closed his eyes and just relished the feeling of having her in his arms.

When he didn't respond, Catherine loosened her hold. "I'm sorry-."

"I love you, too," he interrupted and pulled her back in to his chest. "I don't know why it's still so hard for me to say it," he continued, "but I do. So much." She wrapped herself around him again and held on tight.

After a minute or so he cleared his throat and straightened up slightly. She pulled back, discretely wiping her eyes before looking up at him and smiling. "So, I guess I'll see you at lunch?" she said.

He didn't want her to leave and racked his brain, trying to come up a reason for her to stay. "Hey," he said, "if you have some time do you want to help me review these reports?"

"Sure, what are you working on?"

He rounded the desk and picked up a stack of folders. "Stats from HPD." He gestured to the sofa so she sat and he settled next to her, putting the folders between them. He looked over at her and asked, "This is pretty dry stuff. You sure you don't mind helping out?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, not at all."

They worked side by side for about an hour, until Kono knocked on the door and leaned in. 'You guys ready to head to lunch?"

Steve looked at his watch, "Yeah, I guess we lost track of time."

They both stood and Steve asked, "Everyone else ready?"

Kono nodded and asked Catherine, "You want to meet over there? Or…"

"How 'bout you ride with me?" Catherine countered and Kono nodded.

Catherine squeezed Steve's hand. "See you over there?"

He nodded. "Just… be safe, okay?"

Catherine tossed a smile over her shoulder as they headed out into the bullpen to leave the office.

* * *

 **Catherine's Corvette  
** **1245 hours**

"So, the boss was in a good mood this morning," Kono told her friend.

"Hmmm?"

"Oh, come on, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," Kono teased. "Was it a good morning for you, too?" she said, grinning.

Catherine couldn't help the smile that blossomed on her face. "Yes, okay, we had a nice morning," she told Kono, glancing sideways. "But, I'm not giving you any details."

Kono held up both her hands, "Whoa, I'm not asking for any. What you do with the boss man is your business."

Catherine blushed and they both chuckled, each looking out at the passing scenery for a few moments.

Kono turned to face her friend. "So, how is it being back?" she asked, earnestly.

"It's so good," Catherine replied. "I really missed you guys," she said, "and being on the island…"

"Really?" Kono was grinning.

"Yes, really. I'm happy to be back."

"So… you and Steve…?" Kono gestured for more information.

Catherine smiled and nodded. "We're really good."

Kono gestured again but Catherine didn't elaborate so she just asked the question that was on her mind. "Are you guys back together?"

Catherine's smile widened, "Yeah, we are."

"I knew it!" Kono exclaimed. "You guys are meant to be. Wait, does that mean you're staying?"

"Uh… not exactly."

Kono glared at her friend. "Does Steve know? If you leave-"

"Yes," Catherine interrupted, "Steve knows. We talked about it and I can't just give up what I'm doing right now. I will have to leave the island for work, but I'll come home whenever I get time in between."

"And he's okay with this?"

"He _says_ he is," Catherine admitted, biting her lip. "Honestly, I think he thinks he is but I know it's going to be hard on him when I'm gone and I…" She tightened her grip on the steering wheel for a moment. "The idea that I can keep working and have a relationship with him? I want that so badly…." She shook her head, slowly "I never thought he'd be able to forgive me after what I did and then when I found out he'd moved on with Lynn, it seemed like we were over for good, and…" she trailed off.

Kono reached out to touch Catherine's arm, "He and Lynn were together for a long time, and she's really nice and Steve seemed to like being with her-"

"Kono," Catherine interrupted, "I don't-"

"No, just let me finish." Kono broke in. "He…," she paused, searching for words, "He was never in love with her, not like with you. We could all see it. There's something about him when you're around… he's just… more human, I guess? I don't know how to describe it. And it was hard, when you left, it really messed him up and I was angry." She put up her hand to forestall interruption. "I admit it, I was pissed at you because he didn't deserve that. And for a long time, I couldn't understand why you did it, why you would ever walk away from him. But then when we found out why you really left… it started to make more sense and the way Steve reacted?" she huffed out a breath for emphasis. "He was out of his mind. I mean, you know how he is, he never actually lost control, but he was strung so tight, we could all tell and…" Kono considered her next words, "and you don't behave that way unless someone means everything to you. After that I started to hope you guys would work it out but he kept dating Lynn so…" she trailed off. "But in Morocco, I know it was so hard for him to let you go again and I started to get my hopes up again but that was months ago… How did you guys reconnect? And why now?"

"Actually, Steve reached out to me. We admitted we missed each other and agreed we owed it to each other to meet in person. I was heading to Langley for debrief and had a little time coming to me so I flew out."

"But why now? Do you know?"

"Yes, but that's between me and Steve, okay?"

"Sorry! Of course, yeah, I didn't mean to pry."

Catherine glanced over and smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

"Everything's good, though?"

"Yes, everything's good," she replied, quietly. "So, let's talk about what's going on with you," she said, smoothly changing the subject and, even though her mind was on Steve, she listened attentively to Kono for the remainder of the drive.

* * *

 **Danny's Camaro  
** **1250 hours**

"So, how'd everything go last night?" Danny asked his partner.

"Good. We had dinner at Sasabune."

"Ouch," Danny commented, "What, you make her pay?"

"No, Daniel. I took Catherine to dinner. Of course I paid."

"Good thing you remembered your wallet. Where'd you hide the crowbar to pry it open?" Danny said, laughing at his joke.

"You're hilarious. Really." Steve commented dryly.

"Sorry," Danny said. "But seriously, isn't that like a $400 meal?" Danny asked.

"It depends on what you order, but we both got the Omakase menu so yeah, it was up there."

"And you didn't have a problem with that?"

"No. I wanted to do something special and it's one of Catherine's favorite places. It's not like the food is bad, the chefs are pretty amazing and we had a great meal. It's not something we can do all the time, but once in a while…" he trailed off.

"So, what was the occasion?"

Steve shifted and glanced over at his partner. "No occasion. I wanted to take her there because I knew she'd love it."

"Huh," Danny grunted, but didn't comment further, instead changing the subject.

"So, you get all your shopping done in time yesterday?"

"Yes."

"And she liked all the stuff you got?"

"Yes."

"You get her all moved in?"

"Uh – yeah. With what she brought to the island. We'll need to deal with her apartment in Virginia and a storage unit, but I think we're good for now."

Danny nodded, considering for a moment. "So, you were in a pretty good mood this morning…" he said leadingly.

"What makes you say that?" Steve asked, feigning innocence.

"You were the last one in, which is not like you. And you were whistling. _Whistling_ , Steven. You don't whistle."

"I know how to whistle." Steve defended.

"I never said you don't know how. I just said you don't _do_ it."

"What do you want me to say, man? You want me to admit I was in a good mood this morning?" He glanced over. "Okay, fine. You got me, I admit it," he said sarcastically, holding up his hand for emphasis. "I was in a good mood this morning." He checked his mirrors, changing lanes. "Is that a crime now? You gonna arrest me?"

"No, you doofus. It's not a…" Danny searched for the right words. "It's nice to see you in a good mood and I was just wondering how you got that way," he said, then, realizing how his words had sounded added quickly, "Wait, scratch that. Never mind, I don't want to know if it's about your sex life."

Steve smirked but didn't deny anything. "Relax man. I was just happy, okay? Things are good with Catherine and me."

"So, she's definitely staying?"

Steve glanced over again, his confusion clearly evident on his face. "I already told you we're back together."

"I know. It's just after what happened last time..."

"This isn't like last time. Danny. There are no more secrets. I know what she's doing and understand she'll have to leave for work. But when she leaves I also know she'll be coming back as soon as she can."

Danny nodded. "Sounds like you have it all worked out," he said, not altogether convincingly, as Steve pulled into the lot at the shrimp truck. _I just don't want to see you get hurt again_ , he added to himself as his partner exited the vehicle.

When Danny didn't follow him out of the car Steve leaned down to look through the window. "Hey, you coming? I'm hungry."

* * *

 **Kamekona's Shrimp Truck  
** **1300 hours**

Steve and Danny joined Catherine and Kono as they walked across the lot. Kamekona saw them coming and approached, acknowledging Kono as she passed him on the way to the table to join the rest of the team. Steve and Danny hung back while the big man engulfed Catherine in a hug.

"It's good to see you, sistah," he said.

"You, too, Kame," Catherine replied.

He pulled back to look at her. "You look good. I think being back on da island agrees with you."

Catherine nodded, smiling. "I really missed it."

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well, I wanted to see you, of course," she told him, "and I've been having a craving for your spicy shrimp."

"'Course you have. I'm gonna hook you up," he said, turning away.

"Thanks, Kame," she called after him.

"What," Danny commented. "The rest of us don't even rate a 'hello'?

Catherine laughed. "Maybe he just likes me best."

Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I know I do," he told her, grinning at Danny.

"Putz," the blonde grumbled, though he was secretly thrilled to see Steve so happy.

They had a pleasant meal, enjoying the food and each other's company so both the conversation and the laughter were plentiful. Unfortunately, as they were finishing up Steve's phone rang with news of a case. He sent Chin, Kono and Lou on ahead to the crime scene and told Danny he'd meet him at the car.

He took Catherine's hand and walked a few steps closer to the beach.

"Steve? Don't you have to go?" she inquired.

"I can take a minute and I want to spend it with you," he told her.

She smiled, loving that he was making good on his promise to prioritize her as much as possible.

He cradled her face and drew her in for a gentle but heartfelt kiss, then gazed at her for a moment. "I wish I didn't have to go," he told her.

"I know," she replied. "But I'll see you later, right?"

"Absolutely," he told her before dropping another quick peck on her lips and walking towards the Camaro.

She stayed on the beach for a moment, thinking. Things were so good with them right now. Almost perfect, in fact, except that she was a little bored sitting around at home all day, but there were ways she could remedy that.

What concerned her was how things would change when she was called away. She didn't know exactly when that would be, although she was estimating two to three more weeks. She'd promised Steve she would never leave without saying goodbye, although they both knew, in certain situations it may have to be in the form of a voicemail message. But Steve was confident they could make it work and she trusted him with everything else, so she wasn't sure why she was having such a hard time trusting him on this. Maybe it was because she was just still terrified of him being hurt again. The fact was she _would_ be leaving the island, probably sooner rather than later. There was nothing they could do about it, so only time would tell how it would play out. The only option open to her was to just wait and hope for the best, and that's exactly what she resolved to do.

* * *

 _A/N: I hope you liked the chapter! I love the idea of Steve being so happy that he whistles at work, we haven't seen that kind of joy from him in a long time._


	10. Chapter 10

_WOW! As I post this we are at 101 reviews for this story! Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and especially those who are reviewing - your comments and feedback mean a lot to me and I really hope you will all continue to enjoy the story._

 _So, I'm posting this chapter earlier than usual because in order to stay on my posting schedule I will have to post a second chapter today, also. I hope you won't mind too much. I chose to post chapters 10 and 11 on the same day because they're both on the shorter side and between the two of them you'll get a nice big dose of McRoll. Today's second chapter will be up later in the afternoon - I hope you'll enjoy both of them!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 10

 **Sidestreet Inn  
** **Friday, 1950 hours**

Steve and Catherine were the first to arrive for the team dinner and were shown to a table set for a party of nine. Just after they'd ordered their first round of drinks Kono and Adam arrived closely followed by Chin and Abby. Lou and his wife Renee were a few minutes behind them and Danny was the last to arrive, having needed time to drop Charlie off at Rachel's. He was solo because Melissa had been unable to attend.

Once all their beverages had been served Steve raised his glass in a toast.

"To Catherine. Welcome back." He locked eyes with her and smiled as he took a sip to a chorus of 'hear hear' from everyone else present. He hoped she knew it wasn't just a welcome back to Oahu, but into his life as well.

The group was in no rush so took their time enjoying shared appetizers and placing their dinner orders. Steve and Catherine were deep in conversation with Kono and Adam, who were seated across from them, when Danny stepped behind their chairs and they turned to look at him.

"Hey partner, what's up?" Steve asked.

"I'm uh, heading up to the bar, you need a refill?"

"Uh…" Steve wondered why his partner didn't just order from their server, but figured he'd let it play out. "Yeah, we could use a refill. Thanks, Danny."

"You're welcome. Catherine, why don't you come for a walk?"

 _So that's what Danny is up to._ Placing a gentle hand on Steve's thigh and exchanging a look with him Catherine placed her napkin on the table and rose.

"Anyone else need a refill?" Danny asked the group but there were no takers.

He held out his arm for Catherine to go ahead of him and followed her to the bar. Figuring he wanted to talk she chose a less-occupied corner and waited while he got the bartender's attention and placed the order before rejoining her.

"I uh… I didn't want to make this an official toast but thought I should add on to Steve's," he said, "thank you for making him so happy."

"Awww, Danny," she replied, "that's so sweet. But you know he makes me happy, too."

"No, I know he does," he assured her, giving her hand a friendly squeeze. "Listen, Cath, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay," she said, drawing out the word a little bit. "What's on your mind, Danny?"

"Uh, the last conversation we had before you left."

"Yeah," Catherine said, thinking back to that day just about two years before, "I remember."

She'd been back on the island for a couple weeks, since just before Kono's wedding and had been so happy to be back, spending time with Steve. Out of the blue Danny had asked her to meet him at one of his favorite spots on the island, an isolated overlook with an amazing view.

 _"Steve has been very happy since you've been back," Danny had said._

 _"Me, too," she told him._

 _"That's good," Danny continued, "'cause I think that that's what he likes, when you are happy here, you know?"_

 _"I am," she confirmed._

 _"Then don't leave again," he pleaded with her._

 _She shook her head – could Danny know she'd just received a call from the CIA? Was that possible? She cleared her throat. "Where did that come from?" She tried to redirect. "I… Does Steve know that you're here right now?"_

 _"No, he does not," Danny told her, "and he would kill me if he did, so please don't tell him."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"Catherine, I'm just looking out for my boy, all right? When you left last time, he was hurt, pretty bad. Okay? He walked around trying to pretend like he wasn't, but I could see it."_

 _Catherine's heart dropped, she'd known Steve must have been hurt when she stayed in Afghanistan but he'd never opened up to her about it, and to hear Danny confirm it… She hated so much that she had hurt him then. And she was agonizing over the knowledge that she was going to hurt him again if she couldn't negotiate her way out of the assignment she had just received from the CIA._

 _"He was suffering," Danny continued, "You know, you don't walk away from the kind of relationship that the two of you had. The relationship that you have."_

 _She shook her head. Her mind was screaming 'I don't want to walk away from him Danny, but I don't know if I'll have a choice.' But she couldn't say that._

 _So, she said, "Look, I didn't mean to hurt him, Danny. Steve understood why I had to stay behind in Afghanistan. He knew that was really important to me."_

 _"I know he understood it." Danny said gently, "That does not mean it didn't wreck him, you know?"_

 _"Yeah," she said, sadly._

 _"Look, I-I have no idea what he was like before I met him, but I can tell you now that he is the best version of himself when you are around."_

 _She wanted to scream 'That's because I love him and he loves me'. But she couldn't do that so she just smiled and said, "You're a good friend, Danny."_

 _"Well, if it wasn't me standing here, it'd be Chin, it'd be Lou, it'd be Kono. Look, the point is this, all right? Last couple years, he's been through a lot, and I just, I just think he deserves to be happy."_

 _She thought,_ 'Y _ou have no idea how much I want that, too'. But she couldn't discuss that with Danny so she simply agreed with him._

 _"So that's why I'm here. That's why I'm asking – are you gonna stick around for good?"_

 _She had to look away. She didn't want to lie to Danny, but she couldn't tell him everything, either. So, she gave him an honest answer to a slightly different question. "There is nothing that I want more."_

"You lied to me that day," Danny said, bringing her out of her recollection.

She sighed, heavily. "Technically, Danny, I didn't," she said sadly and held up her hand to stop his interruption. "I'm sorry I misled you, but I never actually said I was staying," she clarified. "What I told you was I wanted nothing more than to stay. And that was the truth. I wanted that desperately. But I didn't have a choice. I was ordered to go and ordered not to tell Steve what I was doing or where I was going. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?" she asked, a slight tremble in her voice.

Danny was quiet for a moment. "You and he have had a conversation about this?"

"Yes, we had a long talk about that day. He knows I never wanted to lie to him, but he understands about orders."

"So, why did you come back if you knew you would not be able to stay?"

She sighed. She and Steve had already made their peace with this, but she knew Danny deserved answers to his questions. "I really did want to go to Kono's wedding. But I didn't know whether Steve would want me here, and I didn't have the guts to ask him. So, I figured I would just show up and if it didn't go well I could always leave. But he was so excited to see me and it felt so good to be back here, with him. I hoped I'd be able to arrange it so I could stay, at least for a while, but..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

Danny watched her, assessing, before finally asking, bluntly. "Do you love him?'

"Yes," she answered, without hesitation. "More than anything, Danny. I never stopped loving him. And I never will."

Danny noticed the bartender approaching with their drinks so stepped over to the counter, laid the money down and thanked her. He handed one glass to Catherine and picked up the other two.

"Good," he told her. "That's good." He made eye contact and held her gaze. "Are you going to hurt him again?"

She looked away and fidgeted. "Danny, that's…" She didn't want to disclose details of her and Steve's personal lives, but she understood that Danny loved Steve like a brother and was just looking out for his best interests. She sighed before meeting his gaze. "I hope not," she finally said. "He knows the truth about my job now, and he knows I can't just quit right away, which means I'll have to leave at some point and may be away for a while. But I promised him I won't ever leave without saying goodbye, and we'll keep in touch as much as possible while I'm gone, and when I'm not working I'll be here, spending as much time as possible with him. He says he'll be able to handle the long distance but I'm worried it will be harder than he thinks. So, we've talked about that. A lot. But he asked me to trust him and I do," she paused for a moment and looked Danny straight in the eye. "I really want this to work, Danny. I hope you believe that."

"I do, I do," he said after a few moments of contemplation. "And I apologize if I got a little, uh, personal with the questions."

Catherine smiled warmly at him. "It's okay, Danny. I know you're just looking out for Steve. And I appreciate knowing you're here for him if I can't be."

"Always," he agreed. "I would hug you but, uh…" he held up his arms, both hands full.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Should we head back?"

"After you," he told her.

She led the way back to the table and took her seat next to Steve while Danny placed his partner's drink on the table.

"Wow," Steve commented lightly, "that took a while, the bar pretty busy?" He'd tracked their progress across the restaurant and noticed them chatting while they waited. He'd guessed his partner had some questions for Catherine, and knew the blonde could get confrontational without meaning to.

"Yes, they are," Catherine told him. "But we had a nice conversation, so the wait didn't seem that long."

Just then their entrées arrived so Danny retook his seat. They enjoyed their meals, followed by dessert and a couple more rounds of drinks before finally heading home, hoping they wouldn't get a case and be called in to work before Monday.

In the truck on the way home Steve reached over for Catherine's hand and lifted it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. "That was fun tonight," he commented.

"It was," she agreed, nodding.

"So, did you have a nice conversation with Danny?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

She laughed and looked over at him. "Yes, I did."

"Why is that funny?" he asked.

"It's not," she answered, "You are. You're always keeping an eye out, aren't you?"

"On you?" he replied seriously, "Absolutely."

She gazed at him in wonder for a moment and then said, "I love you."

He kissed her knuckles again but didn't reply until he stopped at a traffic light a minute later. He turned his head, leaned over the console and gave her a gentle, but meaningful kiss. "I love you, too."

* * *

It didn't take long for them to settle into a routine of domestic cohabitation. The first several days Catherine caught up on sleep while Steve went for his morning swim. Then he'd wake her when he returned, which typically ended in a leisurely round of lovemaking and then breakfast together before he left for work. Their morning ritual had been interrupted by a case only once but Steve had been able to come home for lunch that day to spend some time with her.

Catherine had enjoyed not being on the clock and after Steve left she would relax for a bit before going for a walk or run. When she returned home she would shower and read a book, or head out to do errands or just explore before meeting Steve for lunch or Kono if he wasn't available. As the days went on, though, she'd gotten tired of shopping and puttering around the house and had started binge watching TV she'd missed due to two years spent in the field. Steve came home one afternoon and found her on the sofa, engrossed in yet another television show and realized she probably needed something else to do to occupy her time. Since they were working a puzzling case it seemed like a perfect fit.

"Hey," he said, sitting down next to her and leaning over to give her a kiss.

She paused the show and turned to him, asking, "Hi, how was your day?"

"Okay," he told her. "We've got a case and could maybe use your help if you're up for it."

"Hmmm," she hummed, placing her index finger on her chin. "Does the gig pay well?"

"Depends what you're looking for," he told her, playing along.

"I might be willing to negotiate for some private, one-on-one time with the head of Five-0, I hear he's pretty hot," she teased with a smile. "Do you think that's maybe something he'd be interested in?"

Steve smoothly shifted Catherine so she was lying back on the couch and he was leaning over her. "That might be something I can arrange," he said huskily, leaning in so they were inches apart.

"Does he deal in sexual favors often?" she asked, running her tongue over her top lip then gently biting down on the bottom one.

"Only for certain people," he said, keeping up the game. He was having difficulty resisting her but he wanted to play a little longer.

"Oh?" she tilted her head. "Do you think he'd do it for me?" she asked, rolling her hips under his. When he closed his eyes and took a deep breath she wrapped her legs around him. "I can be _very_ persuasive."

They were so close their noses bumped but he still hadn't kissed her. "Well," he said, his voice low and rough. "I guess it would depend on what you're asking for."

Catherine leaned up just enough to whisper in Steve's ear the words she knew would push him over the edge and they did. She smiled when he growled, stood, lifted her easily and carried her up the stairs, practically ripping the clothes from her body before throwing her on the bed and fulfilling her wish.

* * *

 _A/N: Danny and Catherine were due for a talk and it finally happened. I think Danny is handling everything well, trying to be supportive even though he's still a little concerned Steve could get hurt again. I don't think that's because he dislikes Catherine but rather just because he wants to protect his friend. It's still early in their reconciliation, though, and he'll come around eventually, right?_


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews on the last chapter. Here's the next and things are going to start changing a bit for our favorite couple. I hope you'll continue to enjoy!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 11

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Sunday, mid-June, 1525 hours**

Steve came through the front door and saw the back of Catherine's head as she sat on the sofa.

She had started assisting Five-0 as a 'free' consultant and enjoyed being part of the team again. Steve loved having her in the office and she found being able to spend pretty much all day, every day with him was just icing on the cake. They had spent fifteen days together and loved every minute of it.

"Hey, Cath. I couldn't find the tomatoes you usually use so I got another brand," he called out to her as he shut the door with his foot before proceeding through to the kitchen with the grocery bags he carried.

When she didn't acknowledge him he poked his head out. "Cath? You okay?"

She looked up, startled. "Sorry, I'm sure the tomatoes will be fine. But I'm not going to be able to make Ragù today."

"That's okay," he told her and headed back in the kitchen to put groceries away. "You want me to get something together for dinner?" he called out to her. When she didn't answer directly he shut the refrigerator door and walked out to the living room. She was still sitting in the same spot on the sofa. "Cath? You okay?"

She shifted to better face him. It didn't escape his notice that she seemed apprehensive and was biting her bottom lip. "I uh… "

Her atypical behavior was really worrying him now. Something obviously had her very much on edge. He sat next to her and placed a hand on her leg. "Cath, whatever it is we can figure it out together. But I can't help if I don't know what it is."

"I got a call and need to report," she finally admitted softly.

"Oh," Steve took a deep breath and rubbed both hands down his face. "Well, we knew it was going to happen sometime, right?" he said, feeling he needed to reassure her. "When do you have to leave?"

She checked her watch and looked up, dismayed, "An hour."

"You're leaving in an hour?" he exclaimed, frustrated. "They couldn't give you more notice than that?"

"Actually, they called about half hour ago, I didn't realize how long I'd been sitting here."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I figured you were on your way home." She said quietly and shrugged helplessly. "I'm sorry. I would have called you in a few minutes…" she trailed off, then admitted, "and I guess I was kind of dreading telling you."

"Why?"

"Because I really do have to leave this time."

"Hey," he touched her arm so she'd look at him. "We both knew this was coming. And we'll get through it, we're going to be fine." He gathered her into his arms, resting his cheek against her hair. "Do you know how long you'll be gone?"

She sighed, "No. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize."

"I know. But I still hate that I have to leave."

Steve nodded. "Listen, I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

"That you won't worry about me while you're over there. You need to be one hundred percent focused on your mission so you can come home to me," he told her. "Can you do that? Will you promise me?"

She bit her lip and gave him a sad smile. "Yeah, I'll do my best."

"Okay, then I guess we need to get you packed," he said, moving to push off the couch.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him back. "Hey, same goes for you, you know. Promise me you'll try not to worry too much?"

"Yeah," he told her. "I promise."

He sent Catherine up to get started while he quickly finished with the groceries and then met her in their room. When he saw her bag on the bed it started to sink in that she was leaving, and it was bothering him more than he had expected. He didn't believe it was because he didn't trust her but he was certainly feeling anxiety that he didn't want to pass along to her. So, he shook it off and helped get her bag packed as she changed her clothes.

As she laced up her boots he settled next to her on the bed and when she finished he took her face gently in his hands and kissed her with such intense emotion it brought tears to her eyes. They both enjoyed the closeness for several minutes before she wiped her eyes and reminded him they didn't have a lot of time. They rose and, carrying her bag he followed her down the stairs.

He opened the door. "You going to Pearl or Honolulu International?"

"Oh, no, Steve," she told him, obviously distressed. "I'm sorry, they're sending a car, I should have said that." She squeezed his hand. "I just wanted to say goodbye to you here, in private. I hope that's okay."

He was quiet for a moment and she worried he was upset. "Yeah, actually that's a good idea," he finally said, and gestured for her to walk ahead of him out to the porch. He placed her bag on a chair and tugged her into his embrace,

He held her tight. "I'm going to miss you," he said quietly in her ear, "but I'll just keep reminding myself you're going to come home as soon as you can."

"I will," she said into his shirt. "I promise."

He sighed and stepped back enough to see her face. "Will I be able to reach you? Can we at least… talk while you're gone?"

Her face fell. "I don't… I'm not sure yet," she stammered. "I'm sorry, but probably not," she admitted. "But you can call or text my cell and I'll get back to you as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay," he told her.

Except it wasn't.

His anxiety was ramping up higher and higher with every question he got a vague answer to. He told himself he needed to keep it together and send her off on a positive note, but was flashing back to the false pretenses she'd left him under the last time she was on Oahu. His mind told him she wasn't deceiving him; that details of her op were likely classified and she might not even have the answers he currently sought. But his heart was screaming at him that she was leaving and he had absolutely no idea where she was going and when she might be back.

"Do you know where you're going?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.

She pulled out of his embrace and tugged him back into the house, closing the door behind him. "Steve, I have orders not to tell you anything about the mission. Please don't ask me to disobey them," she all but begged, her eyes pleading with him. "Please," she whispered.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. His mind was still warring with his heart and he knew his heart was going to win. He opened his eyes and met her gaze. "I'm sorry Cath," he said, knowing what he was asking of her, "but I…"

She took a deep breath and sighed. "But you need to know." She reached for his hand and grasped it. "I know you do," she told him quietly and admitted, "because part of me wants to be able to tell you." She was quiet for a moment then squeezed his hand. "Afghanistan," she finally said. "I'm going to Afghanistan. But there's no guarantee I'll be there the entire time."

Steve was shocked - he really hadn't expected her to tell him but he'd asked anyway, prepared to accept that she was unable to give him the information.

But she had.

She had disobeyed a direct order. For him. He'd never, ever done that. But she'd chosen to do so by telling him what he needed to know. She'd chosen to place his needs over orders from a superior officer. She had chosen him.

And a weight was lifted; he knew it would be okay. That they'd get through it, together. He pulled her into his chest and held her tight. "Thank you," he told her earnestly. "I hoped, but I didn't really expect…"

"I know," she told him in a near whisper and then pulled away enough to make eye contact with him. "But you need to promise me something. **_Nobody_** can find out you know this. As it is you're not very popular with the agency, you know that. And I'm already on thin ice. If we want any chance of me getting out unscathed so we can move on with our lives we have to play by their rules. If you make waves…" she trailed off, her eyes again pleading with him, "Promise me, Steve."

He knew he owed it to her after she put herself on the line for him. "I promise."

They heard a vehicle pull up and knew it was time for her to leave. She studied him for a moment. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

"I know," he replied and with a sigh he opened the door. She crossed the threshold and picked up her bag.

"Hey," she said softly, waiting for him to look at her. "I know this probably feels like déjà vu for you, I know if does for me. But it's not the same as last time and we both know it. I choose you," she reminded him. "This time you know the real reason I'm leaving and that I _am_ coming back, as soon as I can."

He took the bag from her and put it down so he could wrap his arms tightly around her and she did the same. "Stay safe, okay?"

"Roger that," she replied.

He pulled back to kiss her before again picking up the bag and handing it to her.

"I love you," he said quietly.

"I know. And I love you, too," she replied. "Don't ever forget that." She gazed at him for a moment, making sure he knew she meant what she said. "See you soon."

She gave him an encouraging smile and turned, heading toward the vehicle. He watched as she climbed in and shut the door, raising his hand in an unspoken 'aloha'. When the vehicle turned and he lost sight of it he headed back inside, locked up, set the alarm and stood for a moment.

Although she'd only been living with him for two weeks he'd gotten used to her constant presence and the house felt empty. _Come on, Steve, shake it off. You lived alone for years._ He wondered what to do with himself, eventually deciding on dinner in front of the TV and headed into the kitchen to put together a sandwich and grab a beer. At he settled in on the recliner and grabbed the remote he thought again of Catherine. He missed her already but recalled her words, 'I choose you'. She _had_ chosen him and he needed to believe in that. He reminded himself they'd spent long stretches of time apart so many times before, and would get through this one.

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Monday, 0834 hours**

When Steve arrived at work the next morning without Catherine in tow Danny asked if she were running late.

"Uh, no," Steve said, frankly. "She left yesterday afternoon for an assignment, I'm not sure when she'll be back."

"Ah," Danny said, trying to be supportive. "Well, it'll probably only be a week or two, right? Like back when she was on reserve duty?"

"Yeah, Danno. You're right," Steve replied. "So where are we on this homicide?"

Just then Lou approached from his office, telling them they'd caught a break with a witness that had turned up and the discussion immediately turned to the case, giving Steve a welcome break from focusing on Catherine's absence.

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Following Friday, 1617 hours**

They eventually solved the murder after several long days and Steve sent everyone home early for the weekend. Danny stopped in his office on the way out.

"Hey, babe? You look tired. You heading home?"

"Uh… yeah. I just have a few things to finish up first," he told his partner before returning to his paperwork. He realized a minute later that Danny was still watching him and sat back in his chair. "You need something, Danno?"

Danny knew Steve had been struggling since Catherine had gone and was trying to figure out how to broach the subject without his partner slamming the door shut on his emotions.

"You heard from Catherine at all?" he asked.

Steve sighed. "Sort of. I left her a message a few days ago and got one back yesterday. Can't really have a conversation that way but at least I know she's safe."

Danny nodded. "That's good news, right?"

"Yeah," Steve replied.

"You find out yet when she'll be back?"

"No, I don't know."

"You look tired – you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Steven. Really? This is me you're talking to. Although the average Joe Schmoe could see you're starting to resemble the walking dead. How about you try that again?"

Steve sighed. "Fine, Daniel. I will admit I've been feeling a little under the weather, but it's nothing serious." He held up his hand to stop Danny's interjection. "I do not have a fever or any other worrisome symptoms. And no, I do not need to go to the doctor."

"But you will if you develop any," Danny made finger quotes, "worrisome symptoms?"

"Yes, mom," His partner replied sarcastically.

"You know, that hurts. Why do you hurt me? I'm just trying to look out for my best friend who, by the way, has a couple of serious underlying medical conditions and do I get a 'thank you'? No. Instead I get attitude."

"I'm sorry, Danny," Steve said, sufficiently chastised. "You're right. I appreciate your concern." Then he added, "As long as you don't go overboard with it."

"Apology accepted. As to your conditions? Your definition of 'overboard' and my definition of 'overboard' are vastly different, so we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one."

Steve sighed. "Of course we are."

"You should knock off early, go get some rest. You look tired."

"Yeah, I didn't sleep well a couple nights," Steve admitted.

"That's sucks, babe. Anything I can do?"

"Uh, like what? I'm not looking for a warm body to take Catherine's place in bed, if that's what you're suggesting."

"You're an ass. You know that right?"

"So I've been told, Danno, so I've been told," Steve replied with a smile.

He enjoyed winding Danny up although, truthfully he did appreciate his friend's concern. But he wasn't ready to have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation about how much he missed Catherine. There was nothing he or anyone else could do; the only thing that was going to ease his mind was having Catherine home safely. So he just had to keep taking it one day at a time until that happened. And hope it would happen sooner rather than later.

* * *

 _A/N: Their perfect little bubble has been burst - but Steve seems to be handling it pretty well, as long as Catherine comes home safely. You can bet Danny will be keeping an eye on him, though. The next chapter will be up tomorrow - stay tuned!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading and for your wonderful reviews on the last chapter. It had to happen sometime, right? And there's that saying - 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'..._

 _I suspect nobody will be saddened to hear that my posting schedule dictates two chapters again today so there will be another one this afternoon. I hope they'll meet with your approval!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 12

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Tuesday, late June, 1348 hours**

It turned out Danny was right, Catherine was gone just over two weeks. Although they hadn't been able to speak on the phone, they'd exchanged messages a few times and Steve had managed to keep his worry from turning into full-blown panic. She arrived back on the island early afternoon and had the driver take her to the Palace where she hoped the team would be working.

When she walked through the double doors and dropped her bag Steve's face almost split in two.

"Hey Lieutenant," he said, "welcome back." He pulled her into a hug and held her tight for several seconds before pulling back with a quick peck to her lips. He gazed at her face for a few moments, drinking in the sight of her before turning to face the rest of the team who were gathered around the smart table.

A chorus of 'Hi Catherine' and "Welcome back' could be heard before they all found reasons to excuse themselves to their respective offices, leaving Steve and Catherine alone in the bullpen. He appreciated the gesture and placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her toward his private space. Even though the glass walls provided almost no concealment with the blinds open he pulled her to him and planted a kiss on her lips that was quickly deepened. Cognizant of their location, though, it never grew heated, and they broke apart after several seconds and just held each other.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hi," he echoed. "I missed you."

He pulled back and placed a final kiss to her forehead before gesturing to the sofa where they both sat.

"I know you can't give me details, but everything go okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it did. No problems."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, that's good."

She slouched to the side so she was resting against his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. "It's so good to be back," she said quietly. "I really missed you."

"Me, too," he told her, turning to kiss the top of her head.

They just enjoyed each other's presence for a few minutes until Steve noticed Catherine's breathing starting to even out.

"Hey," he said, nudging her gently. "I'm gonna take you home so you can grab some rack time."

"No," she told him, failing to stifle a yawn. "That's okay. I'll just take a combat nap and then I'll be good."

He sat forward and looked at her. "Catherine, you're obviously exhausted. You need some real sleep."

He rose and pulled his truck keys from a drawer in his desk before offering his hand to help her up.

She stood and covered a yawn. "Okay," she admitted. "I'll go home, but you don't have to drive me. Don't you have a case?"

"Yes, but we're at a standstill right now," he told her. "They can manage without me."

"Okay, I guess you're taking me home, then," she said with a smile.

He moved to the door and gestured for to precede him. As they crossed the bullpen Chin exited his office.

"Hey Steve, sorry to interrupt but I've got a lead on Delaney. I found two names that show up repeatedly in the records. They were both sent up with him on the second pop, but were paroled early. I'm thinking he may go to either one of them. I've got current addresses for both. One's in Kapolei and one's in Kaneohe."

Steve's sighed, as much as he wanted to take Catherine home work would have to come first this time. "All right. We need a coordinated strike so nobody runs. Lou's still up on the north shore so Danny and I will go to Kaneohe and he can meet us there. You and Kono head over to Kapolei. Bring everybody else up to speed and I'll be right back up after I walk Cath out."

"Roger that," Chin said with a nod before heading toward Kono's office.

"I can stay-," Catherine said but Steve interrupted.

"No, we'll be fine here. I really want you to get some sleep," he told her. He picked up her bag and held the door open, reaching for her hand when they entered the hallway.

He walked her out to parking lot and placed the bag on the back seat of the truck as she opened the front door and climbed in to the driver's seat. He shut the back door and leaned in to give her a lingering kiss, then rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't apologize. The team needs you in the field and so that's where you need to be right now."

He nodded in acknowledgement of her words. Then said quietly, "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me, too," she said and kissed him again.

He stepped back, eyeing her warily.

"Are you sure you're not too tired to drive? I can drive you home and come back."

She smiled at his protective nature. "I'm okay," she reassured him. "I'm not going to fall asleep at the wheel." When he didn't seem convinced she added, "I promise." She bit her lip, "Besides," she teased, "if you came home now I won't want to let you leave and if I'm too tired I won't have any fun."

He studied her for a moment then relented. "Okay." He leaned in again. "You should probably take a long nap," he whispered in her ear, "because when I get home I'm going to want to show you exactly how much I missed you." She hummed appreciatively and he placed a kiss to her temple. "I'll try to be home as soon as I can. Don't worry about dinner, okay? I'll figure something out or make Danny stop so I can pick something up on the way home."

She smiled gratefully. "Thanks, I'm sure I'll be hungry."

He leaned in for one more lingering kiss before stepping back, grasping the door. "Drive safe and text me when you get there," he told her. When she replied that she would he shut the door and stepped to the front of the vehicle so she could back out of the space. He raised one hand in a wave and watched until she was out of sight before heading back inside and up to the Five-0 suite.

He stopped in the doorway of Danny's office and the blonde asked, "Catherine get off okay?"

"Yeah. She's tired and I'm not sure I want her to drive, but she insisted she'll be fine so I let her go."

"The control freak in you is having a hard time dealing with that, isn't it?" his partner asked knowingly and with a smirk. "If you had your way you'd be driving her home right now, wouldn't you?"

"So?" Steve defended. "What's wrong with me wanting to get her home safely?"

Danny put his hands up in surrender. "Nothing." He shook his head. "You're right. But I'm sure she's going to be okay."

"Yeah," Steve agreed, quietly.

"She going to let you know when she gets there?" Danny asked and Steve nodded his reply. "Tell you what. If we don't hear from her in twenty minutes we'll track her cell and I'll drive you over there if need be."

Steve smiled. "Thanks, Danny. Give me a minute and we can head out," he said, starting to make his way toward his office. "Oh," he tossed over his shoulder, "and I need you to give me a ride home."

Having assumed as much Danny nodded, although Steve couldn't see him. "I figured," he said to himself.

He waited in the bullpen for Steve to return, amazed at how quickly his partner could go from concerned-boyfriend mode to task-force-commander mode. The softer facial expressions he reserved for Catherine were gone and he was all business now, laser-focused on the case. But underneath it all, Danny could still see that the man was already more at peace, just for having Catherine back on the island.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **1805 hours**

Steve made sure to close the door softly. The house was quiet and he assumed Catherine was still sleeping. He locked up and headed upstairs to the bedroom, stopping in the doorway for several moments to watch Catherine in her slumber. She lay on top of the covers facing the door with both hands tucked under her head and appeared to be sound asleep. He wondered exactly how much sleep she'd missed while she'd been gone and even though he wanted nothing more than to properly welcome her home he decided not to wake her up just yet. He moved quietly into the room and soundlessly stowed his badge and gun in his bedside drawer, shed his work clothes and donned a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt.

He was just heading out in the hall to try and see what he could put together for dinner when a sound from the direction of the bed stopped him. He glanced over and noticed Catherine stirring. He sat gently on his side of the bed and watched her as she woke.

A minute later she opened her eyes slowly, blinking in the afternoon light, and saw him watching her.

"Hey," she said, groggily.

"Hey," he responded. "Did you have a good nap?"

"Yeah," she said, he could tell she was still half asleep. "Time ist?"

He glanced at his watch. "1815 hours," he told her. "Why don't you go back to sleep? I'll rustle up something for dinner and we can eat later."

She shook her head slightly and reached out a hand to him. "Come lay with me?"

He smiled and did as she asked, scooting over to face her and laying down. He cupped her cheek, stroking it with his thumb. "I'm so glad you're home safe."

"Me, too," she told him as she gazed at him. "We made it through the first one," she said softly. "But I did miss being here with you. And there were a couple times I wished you were there with me," she admitted.

"But you said everything went okay," Steve questioned.

"It did," she assured him. Then teased, "Because I am just that good."

"I don't doubt it," he told her sincerely and her smiled dimmed slightly to match his more thoughtful expression. They gazed at each other for a moment before Steve added lightly, "And I missed you, too," before stretching forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

When he drew back Catherine, eyes still closed, moaned from the loss of contact. She reached out her left hand and ran her fingers gently down his chest to the waistband of his shorts then back up again. She cradled the back of his head and tugged him closer so their faces were a hair's breadth apart. "Why don't we wait a while to eat?" she whispered. "I can think of other things I'd rather be doing right now... "

"Yeah? Like what?" he asked, trying to play it cool, but his body was already reacting to her and he knew she knew it.

"How about you show me exactly how happy you are that I'm home?"

He pulled her toward him and rolled her onto her back, pinning her beneath him and taking her mouth in a searing kiss that left them both breathless. Clothes were shed almost instantly and it wasn't long before they were joined in the most intimate way possible. Steve closed his eyes, relishing the feelings she always evoked in him before dropping his head to kiss her deeply then continuing to show her how happy her was that she had returned.

* * *

Ninety minutes later they were in the kitchen sharing an omelet. Steve stood holding the plate while she sat on the counter facing him. He alternated feeding her bites and feeding himself and she was teasing him, pretending to steal his bites before he could get them.

"No more omelet for you," he said with a smirk.

"Hmmm…" she moaned, pretending to sulk. "But it's soooo good and I'm soooo hungry."

He tried to keep a stern face but failed miserably. "Who am I kidding?" He held out a bite for her, his hand shaking with his laughter, "I am powerless to resist you."

She grabbed his hand to steady it before taking the bite and then licked her lips exaggeratedly, smiling at him.

He continued to feed her but noticed her mood seemed to dim with each bite. As she finished chewing and swallowed the last bit of their meal he placed the plate on the counter next to her and moved his hands to her thighs. "Hey," he said, getting her attention.

She looked up and met his gaze.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

She shook her head quickly. "It's nothing." She moved to hop off the counter but he boxed her in.

"Cath," he said, drawing out her name.

She sighed. "I just… I guess I'm having a hard time believing this. I left, I came back, and everything seems to be okay."

"Everything **_is_** okay," he assured her with a squeeze.

"How was it?" she bit her lip. "I mean…"

"I went to work every day, was involved in one firefight, solved two homicides, had lunch with the team four times, dinner with Lou once and with Danny and the kids twice," he told her, sliding his hands up her legs. "And I missed you every minute you were gone."

"I missed you, too." She said, leaning forward to brush her lips against his before resting her forehead against him and admitting, "And I worried about you, how you were holding up."

"I was fine, nothing to worry about," he said quietly, seeking her lips and finally finding them.

"Hmmm…" she said, distractedly. "That's good."

Steve kissed her again until he needed to breathe then moved to her ear, running his tongue around the shell and dipping his head to nuzzle her neck. He stopped when he felt her yawn and pulled back to watch her.

She shook her head and laughed. "I'm sorry," she told him before claiming his lips again.

He pulled away after a moment and gazed at her.

"Why don't we clean this up and go upstairs."

She nodded. "That sounds like an excellent idea."

He lifted her off the counter and she moved to put the dishes in the dishwasher while he washed the pan and spatula. He noticed that she yawned twice in the three minutes it took them to straighten up and when they were both done he moved to her and kissed her softly.

"You need some more sleep."

"No, I'll be fine," she protested.

"Cath, you're obviously exhausted," he told her, taking her hand. "We're going to go upstairs and sleep and you'll feel so much better in the morning."

He tugged her out of the kitchen and up the stairs into the bedroom. Once they had both completed their bedtime routine and climbed into bed Catherine settled her head on the pillow and he could see sleep beckoning her.

"You'll wake me up to go for a swim?" she asked, already halfway under.

He leaned over to press a quick kiss to her lips. "No, but if you're a good girl and get a full night's sleep maybe I'll wake you up afterwards."

She smiled sleepily. "You're on, sailor."

He pecked her lips again then settled down facing her. She instinctively snuggled up close to him before finally giving in to her exhaustion. Steve stayed awake for quite a while, but lay quietly, not wanting to disturb her. He thought about how amazing it was that she was home, lying next to him, sharing a bed. He still sometimes had difficulty believing that they'd made peace with the past and were moving forward together.

"I sleep better with you beside me, I always have," he whispered to her sleeping form and with a soft smile on his face he finally joined her in slumber.

* * *

 _A/N: Yay! They made it through the first absence! :-)_

 _Another chapter will be up this afternoon and I look forward to your thoughts._


	13. Chapter 13

_I just want to express my gratitude, again, for everyone who has been reading and especially those who have reviewed the story. Even though I can't reply to guest reviewers personally I still value your feedback just as much._

 _Although this story was basically complete when I posted the first chapter I have gone back and made some changes to non-published chapters based on reader's feedback or questions and I feel the story is better for it, so keep those reviews coming, please. :)_

 _Here's today's second chapter - I hope you enjoy! We'll be back to once-a-day posting starting tomorrow._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 13

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Saturday, mid July,** **2030 hours**

Steve and Catherine were dozing on the couch, the remains of their dinner and a few empty beer bottles spread out on the coffee table in front of them. It had been a long day that started in the wee hours of the morning and was spent trying to get a handle on their newest case. Steve had gotten a call at 0203 hours that a young woman with a clean record and good job had been found dead in her car on the side of a frequently-traveled road. The governor had immediately put Five-0 on the case in hopes of avoiding a public outcry.

The body had been found after midnight and initially they hadn't known how long she'd been there or the location of the primary crime scene. The investigation had led them to an upscale apartment complex as the potential original location which CSU had finally confirmed in the early afternoon. About an hour later the medical examiner had confirmed cause of death - multiple stab wounds with one that nicked her left kidney - and time of death - around 2330 hours the prior evening.

After being at the scene multiple hours until after sunrise they and the rest of the team had spent most of the day performing computer searches of every database they could think of. Unfortunately, they were having difficulty finding any connections between the victim and the apartment complex or anything even remotely related to a motive. Knowing everyone was tired, Steve finally sent the rest of the team home shortly before he and Catherine departed the office around 1800 hours. They stopped for takeout on the way so they wouldn't have to deal with dinner.

Catherine had been home for seventeen days and had been 'working' as a free consultant. When their Saturday plans had been blown up by the case she had elected to accompany Steve to the crime scene and then to spend the day with him and the rest of the team chasing down leads. Their plan upon leaving work had been to take a short break to eat and then go over the case file again but exhaustion had gotten the better of them which is why they were sleeping mostly upright with Catherine's head resting against Steve's shoulder.

They startled at the sound of Catherine's ring tone, coming instantly awake. She checked the screen and cast a quick glance at Steve before answering.

"Rollins… Yes, sir… Yes, sir…. Understood. Twenty-two thirty. Roger that." She disconnected the call and placed the phone on the coffee table.

Steve looked at her, the distress obvious in his eyes. "You've only been back for a couple weeks."

"I know," she said and placed her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry. If I could stay longer I would, you have to know that."

He sighed. "I know. I'm not blaming you, I know you have no control over this." He stood and stretched then offered her his hand. "Let's get you packed up."

She took his hand and pulled herself up before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

He smiled. "What was that for?"

"Because you're amazing and I love you."

"I love you, too," he told her, happy those words had gotten easier for him to say. "Are they sending another car or do you need me to drive you somewhere?"

"They're sending a car," she said and wrapped her arms around his neck as his went automatically to her waist, "but not until 2230 hours which means we have about an hour to kill." She toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, pressing her hips against him and biting her lower lip. "Do you have any ideas what we should do to pass the time?"

"Hell, yeah," he growled before picking her up and carrying her upstairs where he lay her down on the bed and covered her body with his. They thoroughly enjoyed their romp and ended up scrambling to get Catherine's bag packed before the car arrived.

Once again, he refused to consider it a 'goodbye' but rather a 'see you soon' as he stood on the porch, holding her in his arms. He cradled her face and leaned in to express all his love for her in a kiss that would tide them both over until she returned. She leaned against him for a moment, recovering, before she was able to pick up her bag and with one final squeeze of his hand turned and retreated down the path to the waiting vehicle.

He watched it drive away before he reentered the house and made his way upstairs to try and get some sleep, knowing it would be difficult without her next to him.

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Friday, six days later, 1046 hours**

"So, what do we know about this guy? He's got a record?" Steve asked Danny, Lou and Jerry as they stood around the smart table.

"Yeah," Lou responded. "Miko Haleika, 28. Been in and out for years - mostly small stuff. Seems like he's been keeping his nose clean for the last nine months or so. PO says he's holding down a job, making all his meetings."

"We got a current address?" Steve asked as his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and excused himself, stepping away from the table.

"McGarrett," he answered as he entered his office, letting the door close behind him.

" _Hey sailor."_

He smiled broadly. "Cath. I hoped it was you."

" _Do you have a minute or are you in the middle of something?"_

"Yeah, of course I do. How are you? Everything okay?"

" _Actually, I'm on my way home and was hoping maybe you could meet me there_."

"Cath?" He was slightly alarmed now. "Is something wrong?"

" _Nothing's wrong."_ she assured him. _"I'm okay, I promise."_

He sighed, relieved. "So, the op went okay?"

" _Yes, it did,"_ She told him patiently. _"It's just… I'll be home in about an hour but have to leave again Monday morning and I just wanted to spend as much time with you as I can before I go."_

He closed his eyes. "That's only three days."

" _I know_ ," she said, sadly. " _And I'm sorry."_

He opened his eyes. "No, Cath. Don't apologize," he told her gently, "I'm glad you called because I will absolutely meet you at home."

" _You're sure? You're not in the middle of a case?"_

"We are, but there's nothing happening I need to be here for. I need to be with you right now, so that's where I'll be. You're an hour out?"

" _Yeah, about that."_

"I'll be there with bells on," he told her with a smile before disconnecting the call.

He gathered what he needed to take home and headed back out to the bullpen.

"Everything okay?" Danny asked, upon noticing Steve's laptop case in his hand.

"Yeah," he told his partner. "That was Catherine, she's on her way home and needs to head out again Monday morning so I'm going to take the rest of the day." He spoke up, addressing the entire group. "Keep trying to find this guy and let me know if anything breaks, okay? Otherwise, call me if you need me and if you don't, I'll see you Monday afternoon."

"Yeah, buddy, you got it," Danny replied for all of them.

Steve nodded and walked briskly towards the double doors, never looking back.

"Say 'Hi' to Cath for us," Lou called to his retreating form before turning to the others. "Think he's in a hurry to get home?" he asked, ironically.

"Yeah, it seemed like it.," Jerry replied, earnestly.

Lou just looked at Jerry for a moment, wondering whether the man didn't hear the sarcasm or just didn't understand it. But he decided it wasn't worth the energy to ask so he just sighed and shook his head instead.

"So, how do we want to play this?" he asked Danny and the blonde detective started laying out a game plan.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **1110 hours**

Steve arrived home, dropped his keys on the table by the door and stood for a moment, not really sure what to do. He missed Catherine and longed to hold her in his arms. Knowing she was so close but that he'd have to wait to see her was torture. He couldn't believe she'd have to leave again so soon. He hadn't really been expecting her to be home for such a short time between assignments. And the fact that there was so much travel time getting back and forth to Hawaii lessened their time together even more. He was struggling and this was only her second time away. He hadn't told her this, but he was starting to think she was right when she'd questioned whether he'd really be able to deal with her absences as well as he thought.

But he'd told her he would wait for her and that's what he planned to do because he knew, with one hundred percent certainty that he wanted her in his life permanently. He knew he should tell her the truth about his concerns but this wasn't the time. They needed to enjoy every moment they had together and he didn't want her carrying any worry for him along with her, she needed to focus on her mission so she could come home safely.

He puttered around in the kitchen, putting together some wraps, figuring they might need a snack later and then headed out to the lanai to draw peace and serenity from the ocean until Catherine arrived.

As soon as he heard a vehicle pull up he moved back into the house and was just entering the living room as she was crossing the threshold. She was in his arms in seconds and kissing him like her life depended on it. He was immediately on the same page and picked her up, blindly moving until they collided with the nearest vertical surface. Her kisses were desperate; he felt her primal need for him and could barely wait to be one with her. Clothes were shed along the way, leaving a trail in their wake as they just couldn't get to the bed fast enough.

* * *

Thirty minutes later Steve rolled over, reaching out to connect with any part of her body within arm's length while trying desperately to catch his breath. He found her hand and grabbed it, needing to maintain some sort of physical connection while at the same time trying to recover from the intensity of what they'd just shared. When he was finally able to speak he rolled on his side toward her and smiled.

"Not that I'm complaining," he said, still breathing heavily, "but what brought that on?"

She chuckled and rolled to face him, smiling. "You'd better not be complaining, because that was amazing."

He leaned in. "I will never," he kissed her quickly, "ever," another peck, "complain about that," he kissed her again, more deeply. "I promise."

"Good," she told him.

"But…" he looked at her, "seriously, everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said, but not entirely convincingly.

"Cath?" he asked, sure now she was holding something back. "What is it?"

"It's nothing, really. I just, uh," she shook her head slightly, "I had a close call on this one and I guess it stayed with me."

Steve was immediately all business. "Are you hurt?" he asked, as he pushed down the sheet so he could examine her more closely.

"Steve," she said and tugged on him so he looked at her. "I'm fine. Don't you think you would have noticed if I were injured? There's not a scratch on me. I swear to you. I'm not hurt."

"Your team?" he asked.

"Everyone's okay," she assured him.

"And you're sure you're okay? That there's nothing internal? Did you hit your head at all?" he pressed, needing to be sure.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I'm absolutely positive."

"Okay," he said and visibly relaxed. "Can you tell me about it?"

She shook her head, sadly. "No, I'm sorry, but I can't," she told him. "And honestly, I'm not sure I'd want to talk about it anyway."

He watched her for a moment, appraisingly, then smiled wolfishly. "Well, I'm certainly willing to do whatever I can to help keep your mind off it—"

Catherine leaned forward and kissed him deeply, although the desperation from earlier was gone. This was still passionate, but more loving and tender.

"You were saying?" she asked him with a gleam in her eye.

"I **_was_** going to say that I probably need a little time to recover," he considered for a moment, "but after that kiss I'm pretty sure that won't be a problem," he told her, gliding his hand down her side and across her hip.

She rolled him to his back and moved to straddle his body. She leaned in to kiss him again, before whispering in his ear, "How about if I do most of the work this time?"

And Steve had absolutely no problem at all with that.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Monday, three days later, 0513 hours**

When Steve's cell rang he groped for it blindly, not wanting to open his eyes. He and Catherine had only been asleep for a few hours after she woke him at midnight. Her internal clock was still off because of the time difference and he'd been more than happy to help her work off some of her excess energy. They'd been doing a lot of that, having spent Friday afternoon and much of the rest of the weekend in bed, reconnecting and talking. They had managed to stretch their legs, eat, sit on the beach and even enjoy time swimming together but were trying to squeeze as much as they could into the few days they had. When the phone rang again he sat up and answered it, not wanting to wake Catherine. His heart fell as he noticed the caller ID and knew his partner wouldn't call that time of the morning unless it was something important. Unfortunately, there had been a break in the case and he needed to go to work.

 **Pearl City  
** **1045 hours**

Things at the scene had not gone entirely according to plan and they were wrapping up when Steve glanced at his watch. "Shit," he said under his breath but Danny heard him and looked over.

"What time's Catherine supposed to leave?" he asked.

"Fifteen minutes."

"Hey. We got this," Danny told him, "You go home, say goodbye."

"Thanks, man," he said over his shoulder as he rushed to his truck, pulling his phone from his pocket and finding the battery had died.

He made his way to the vehicle and immediately plugged his phone in to charge, calling Catherine on the Bluetooth connection as he rushed back to the house, breaking most of the island's traffic laws in the process and making the 28-minute drive in about 23 minutes.

But when he arrived home the house was dark.

Still hopeful, he unlocked the door and went inside, but knew immediately she had already gone.

"Shit!" he exclaimed and rubbed his hands over his face.

He'd missed her and didn't know how long it would be before he saw her again. His instinct was to hit something but he knew breaking his hand on a wall wouldn't solve anything. He closed his eyes and sighed. There was nothing he could do but try to keep busy until Catherine got home so he decided to take a shower and go back to the office. He'd never been one to play hooky. Well, not until Catherine came back into his life and he started making a real effort to spend as much time with her as possible.

He climbed the stairs, tiredly, and removed his weapon and badge to place them on the bedside table. As he set his phone to charge he saw a voicemail he didn't realize he'd had and immediately accessed it. Catherine's voice floated up through the speaker.

 _"Hey, Steve. I guess you got stuck at work. Maybe your phone's off or you don't have a signal because this call went directly to voicemail. I don't want to keep calling in case you're in the middle of something… I hope everything's okay. I uh, I promised you I wouldn't ever leave without saying goodbye but they've moved up my departure by half an hour, so if I don't get a chance to see you I hope you'll count this as me keeping that promise_." She cleared her throat before continuing _. "I'll miss you. But I don't think I'll be gone too long, hopefully a couple weeks or less. I love you, Steve. So much. And I know you'd tell me to 'stay safe' so I promise I'll do my best, okay?"_ There was silence for a few seconds before she resumed speaking, _"I really wish I could see you, but I know sometimes the job comes first and if there's any way you could be here you would so please don't beat yourself up about it, okay?"_ There was a brief pause before she continued. _"I mean it, sailor."_ There was another pause, slightly longer. _"I need to get going._ _Aloha, Steve. I love you and I'll see you soon. Bye."_

He stared at the phone in his hand, thumb hovering over the 'delete' button before he changed his mind and decided to keep the message. "Aloha, Cath. I love you, too." He said softly to the phone before he set it down and plugged it in to charge while he was showering.

Ten minutes later he was dressed and ready to go. He picked up his phone and pressed speed dial #2.

 _"Steve?"_ Danny said, _"Did you catch her?"_

"No," he said sadly, "I didn't."

" _Sorry, babe. That sucks."_

"Yeah. I'm uh, on my way back in. You want me to stop and get lunch for everyone?"

He heard Danny speaking to the rest of the team. _"How we take a long lunch and go out? Meet you at the Hilton in half an hour?"_

Steve smiled. "Yeah, actually that sounds good. I'll see you there," he told his partner, appreciating the opportunity to spend time with his team and try to forget, for a little while, that Catherine was gone and he didn't know when he'd get to see her again.

* * *

 _A/N: So far, so good. They survived Catherine's 2nd time away, but didn't get to say goodbye in person this time. Do you think that will make it more difficult for Steve to handle her absence?_


	14. Chapter 14

_I know you've been patiently waiting and here's the next chapter. This is one of the longest chapters in the story and it's definitely one of my favorites. But I'm quite curious to find out what all of you think, and once you read it you'll discover why..._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 14

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Tuesday, early August, 0254 hours**

Catherine was surrounded by four men and fighting for her life. She took one down with a well-placed kick to the back of the knee and was rounding on another when they overpowered her and she fell to her knees. Although the situation was dire, her eyes were defiant until the last moment when one of the men brandished a silenced pistol, uttered a phrase in Russian and fired a single, muffled shot. She collapsed to the ground and one man kicked her lifeless body as he stepped over her and followed his companions out of the alley.

Steve woke with a start and sat bolt upright. His heart was pounding and his skin covered in a sheen of sweat.

He heard his name being called, as if from a distance but he was unable to focus on it while he tried to get his bearings.

"Steve. Please… scaring…"

He realized it was Catherine who was speaking to him. His head spun toward her voice and his eyes were wild for just a second when they landed on her before reality set in and he collapsed against her, breathing heavily and hanging on for dear life.

"You're here?" he mumbled.

"I'm here," she confirmed. "It's okay," she soothed, running her fingers through the damp hair at the nape of his neck. "I'm here. I'm safe. We both are. Everything's okay." She waited until he seemed to have his breathing under control. "That must have been a bad one," she commented, concern clouding her tone. When he didn't speak she implored, "Steve? Please talk to me."

"I'm okay," he said quietly, his voice hoarse.

"What did you see? Do you want to tell me about it?"

He shuddered and exhaled. "I don't know. Maybe," he said quietly. "I need…" He pulled away and twisted to place his feet on the floor. "I'm sorry, I just need a few minutes. I'm gonna shower. Just give me a couple minutes, okay?" he asked before standing.

"Of course. You sure you're okay?"

He stopped just before entering the bathroom and glanced back. "I don't… I just… need a few minutes," he said and shut the door.

He stripped off his boxer briefs and sleep pants, now damp with sweat, and dropped them in the hamper before turning on the shower and climbing under the spray. He washed up quickly but took a few extra minutes just standing under the streaming water, trying to slow his pounding heart and control the trembling in his limbs.

He'd thought it was real.

For a few moments after waking he'd been confused and thought she was really dead. In his distress, he'd forgotten she was in bed next to him, having arrived home from a two-week assignment just before midnight. And though he knew she was safe, he still couldn't shake the feeling of dread.

He shut off the water and stepped out of the stall, drying his body and rubbing the towel over his head before wrapping it around his waist. When he exited the en-suite bath he noticed Catherine putting on a pillowcase and realized she had changed the sheets.

"You didn't have to do that," he told her.

"I know, but you'll be more comfortable sleeping on clean sheets."

"Thank you," he said. He donned a clean pair of shorts and tossed the towel in the hamper before climbing into the bed and sitting up against the headboard.

She pulled back the covers and paused. "Did I do something?" she asked quietly, honestly confused by his standoffish behavior. "Are you upset with me for some reason?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not upset with you at all." He held out his hand for her to climb into bed beside him then shifted and pulled her against him, placing a gentle kiss on top of her head. "I'm sorry. It's not you. I guess I'm just having a hard time shaking this one off."

"Let me help," she implored, "please. I've never seen a nightmare affect you this way."

"You **_are_** helping. Having you here is helping," he told her and held out a hand, fingers spread, palm down. "See, I've stopped shaking," he said, truthfully, but with a small smile to try to lighten the mood.

She took his outstretched hand in hers and squeezed. "Why don't you tell me what it was about? It usually helps to talk them through."

He shook his head and sighed but then spoke anyway. "It was, uh, when your cover was almost blown when you were in Kiev."

Catherine, her eyes sympathetic, nodded but didn't speak, urging him silently to continue.

"It actually started on the porch, like the day you left for that assignment. You told me you were going to Nepal and I believed you."

He cleared his throat. "But then time flashed forward and I was in my office finding out you were actually a CIA field operative under deep cover. Then time flashed forward again and we were moving on the safe house but I didn't get to the data in time. When we made entry, the drive had already been decrypted."

Steve shifted uncomfortably and took two deep, cleansing breaths before continuing. "Everything started moving in slow motion. Then all of a sudden I was in a white room and a projection started playing on a movie screen like when..." He paused and closed his eyes, rubbing them with his thumb and forefinger.

"Like when Wo Fat had you?" Catherine asked gently and Steve nodded once before opening his eyes. "Then what happened?" she prompted.

"Uh, the movie was showing a busy street in Kiev. People were walking toward the camera and I saw you come into view. You were moving quickly but checking your surroundings regularly. Then I saw a man following you. I think you sensed him, because you seemed wary, but he was good and you didn't see him. You turned down an alley and he, uh, he followed you. I was…" Steve broke off for a moment and closed his eyes, reliving the dream. He shuddered and she squeezed his hand. "I was uh, screaming at the screen, trying to warn you, even though I knew you couldn't hear me…"

"And then what?" she prompted.

Steve shook his head.

"It was just a bad dream," she reminded him gently. "I'm not in Kiev, that op is over, okay?" She rubbed soothing circles on his back. "It's over now and I think you'll feel better if you talk about it."

He sighed heavily. "There were four of them. They uh, they boxed you in, took you down and…" Steve shook his head again, unable to voice the words. "I watched you die," he whispered, his voice breaking, and looked away. "Because I failed. And there was nobody there to back you up and I…"

"You didn't," she reassured him softly. He didn't acknowledge her but she went on anyway. "You didn't fail. You saved me. I'm here because you saved my life that day. What you saw wasn't real." She continued as he turned to look at her, his eyes wet. " ** _I'm_** real. I'm here with you and I'm safe," she said soothingly and cupped his cheek with her hand, gently stroking with her thumb.

He placed his hand over hers on his face for a moment but it wasn't enough. Needing physical reassurance to eradicate the last vestiges of the nightmare he leaned in and took her mouth in a desperate kiss. In short order, he moved to her neck, then lifted the top she wore to get to the skin he craved, pressing a trail of hot, wet kisses over her breasts and down her belly. Slow and sensual were not on his radar, he was following a primal need to claim her as his, the person he loved so wholly she possessed part of his soul. And, having sensed that, she was with him every step of the way, letting him take the lead and he did not disappoint her in the least. Their coupling was hard and fast but so intense that Catherine could barely catch her breath when Steve collapsed on top of her, feeling boneless and thoroughly spent and trying to slow his racing heart.

After a few minutes, unwilling to let her go, he rolled off her onto his side and tugged her up against him, wrapping his arms around her from behind and throwing his leg over hers. There was barely a fraction of an inch of space between them, with her body fitting perfectly in the curve of his.

"Love you, Cath," he murmured and pressed a soft kiss to her hair before his breathing evened out and he gave in to sleep.

Catherine heard the change in Steve's breathing as she lay cocooned in his embrace and knew he'd fallen asleep. Her heart was overflowing with love for him and concern for his well-being. She had a feeling she was going to called for her next assignment soon and hoped, for the sake of both of them, that they'd have at least a week before she'd have to leave. She snuggled back against him and placed a gentle kiss on his arm before finally settling in to her own slumber.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **0705 hours**

Steve woke abruptly and immediately assessed the situation. He was in his bed, wrapped around a still-sleeping Catherine. The morning sun was streaming through the windows and he checked his watch and mumbled an expletive as he noted the time.

He sighed and tried to reach his phone without completely releasing his hold on Catherine but she was laying on his left arm. Just as he was stretching, the phone rang and Catherine shifted so Steve could reach it. He noted the caller and was not surprised to see that it was Danny.

"Hey man. Sorry," he said, quietly.

 _"_ _Steve! Are you okay? I've been knocking for like five minutes."_ Catherine, starting to wake, stretched and rolled to her back, causing the sheet to slide down to her waist and distracting Steve from the call until he heard Danny say, _"…let myself in-"_

"No!" Steve told his partner. "It's okay. We're fine, Danny."

Steve covered the phone as he leaned over to give her a good morning kiss while Danny was talking. _"We? Catherine's back? That mean you're not coming to work today?"_ he asked, with a hint of sarcasm.

Steve sighed as Catherine smiled softly and got up and headed for the bathroom. "Yes, she's back. No, it doesn't mean I'm not going to work. I have a meeting with the governor, remember?"

 _"_ _Yes, I do. That's why I arrived here at 7:00 as_ _ **you**_ _requested, so we could get in early enough for you to review the budget. You gonna come down and let me in or do I have to wait in the car?"_

Steve sighed again and closed his eyes. "Uh… I'm gonna need a few minutes. Why don't you come in and have a cup of coffee or something, all right?"

 _"_ _Fine,"_ Danny grumbled. _"But try to hurry up, will ya?"_

"Yup," Steve told him bluntly and disconnected the call.

He placed the phone back on the table and sat on the side of the bed before pushing up and making his way to the bathroom. He heard the water come on in the shower and wondered briefly how long they could keep Danny waiting for. When he entered the room, Catherine was at the vanity, brushing her hair. He stopped behind her, wrapping his arms around her front and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Good morning," she told him in the mirror then evaluated him with an apprising eye. "You look like hell, sailor," she said gently, wrapping her arms over his.

"Feel like it, too," he mumbled. "Danny's downstairs."

"So, you're going to work?" she asked, pouting just a little.

He kissed her shoulder. "Yeah. I have a meeting with the governor today that I can't miss," he said resignedly.

She turned in his arms. "Okay, so **_we_** need to get going." She pecked his lips. "I'll grab a Navy shower and be right out." She tried to move away but he held on tight, not willing to be any farther away from her than he absolutely had to.

She leaned back to look at his face. "Why don't you hop in there with me, we'll kill two birds with one stone," she told him and he nodded.

They took a 3-minute shower, although it was closer to 4 minutes since they were sharing the stream of water, then exited the stall and dried off. Steve wrapped a towel around his waist and his arms around Catherine again.

"Hey, you know what," she said, sensing that he still needed to be physically close to her, "why don't you head down, apologize to Danny for making him wait and tell him to go ahead because we're going to ride in together? Tell him we'll stop and get malasadas."

Steve visibly relaxed and kissed her quickly. "Don't go anywhere," he ordered before releasing her.

She laughed. "Can I at least go in the bedroom to get dressed?"

He eyed her towel-clad body and admitted, "I'd rather you didn't but I guess you can't go to work like that."

She smiled, happy that his mood was lightening up some.

"I'll be right back," he said and dropped another, lingering kiss on her mouth before heading into the bedroom, dressing quickly and making his way downstairs.

He entered the kitchen and found Danny with his ankles crossed, leaning comfortably against the island, seemingly engrossed in something on his phone. He poured himself a cup of coffee while he waited and watched his partner angle the phone and tap the screen. "No… no…" the man said just before he sighed and looked up, noticing Steve watching him with eyebrows raised. He shrugged. "It's this new game Grace turned me on to. It's uh, kind of addicting," he admitted and Steve just smirked at him. "Don't even," he said to Steve, forestalling any comment. "You finally ready to go?"

"Actually," Steve told his friend, "Uh, Catherine and I are going to ride in together this morning. "I'm sorry I overslept and you had to wait. How about if we stop for malasadas to make it up to you?"

The blonde eyed him suspiciously. "You look ready. Why can't we just go now and Catherine can come whenever she's done?" He rubbed his hands together. "And she can bring my malasadas."

"No, it's fine. I'll wait for her – you can get going."

But Danny wasn't ready to drop the subject. "I don't—what's going on?" He asked then took a closer look at Steve and noticed that his partner didn't look like his usual morning self. "You feeling okay?" he asked, sincerely.

Steve sighed. "Yeah. It was just, uh, I just didn't sleep well. I'll be fine, but I'm not ready to head out yet and I don't want to keep you waiting."

Danny, knowing his partner as he did, accepted the man's explanation but made a mental note to investigate further at a later time. "Okay, I'll see you at the office," he said. "You get to take care of that," he indicated his coffee mug, "and don't forget my pastry," he tossed over his shoulder as he exited the room.

* * *

 **Steve's Silverado, Honolulu  
** **0807 hours**

Steve held Catherine's hand over the console in the truck as he navigated through traffic toward Danny's favorite bakery.

"He'd better appreciate this," he grumbled, looking for a parking spot.

Catherine smiled at him. "You know, I can just hop out while you keep circling the block."

He glanced over at her before returning his eyes to the road. "No, that's okay," he said, with a squeeze of her hand. "I'll come in with you."

She watched him for a moment, deciding how to best phrase what she wanted to ask. "Hey sailor," she said gently, "can I just ask… how do you picture today going?"

"What do you mean? Like schedule-wise?" he inquired.

"No, um..." She chewed her lower lip for a moment. "I guess I'm asking if you're going to want me to go to the budget meeting with you or if you'll be okay with us spending those few hours apart."

Steve sighed. "I'm sorry, I—"

"No," Catherine interrupted, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. You experienced something that shook you up. You and I both know it's perfectly normal to ease back in after that happens."

"It doesn't bother you?" Steve asked, tentatively.

She shook her head. "Not at all," she said sincerely. "The fact that you love me enough for that dream to have affected you the way it did, I just…" she trailed off, unable to find the words as Steve stopped for a traffic signal and turned to look at her. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life again and I never want to take that for granted." She leaned over the console to kiss him gently. "I love you so much, Steve."

"And I love you," he told her, earnestly.

He noticed the light had changed and straightened up to steer the truck through the intersection. "Ha! Got one!" he exclaimed as a car signaled to pull out into the road. He moved the truck into the vacant space and squeezed Catherine's hand again "Stay there, I'll come around."

She thought briefly of arguing that she was perfectly capable of exiting the truck by herself but then decided to just indulge him.

He came around to her side, opened the door and offered his hand to help her out. She happily accepted it and he led the way to the sidewalk, waited for her to fall into step next to him and then latched on to her hand again. She looked down at their joined hands and smiled. She was actually enjoying this side of Steve. Years before he'd never been very demonstrative of his feelings in public, preferring to express how he felt about her in more private settings, alone at home or occasionally when they were with a small group of trusted friends or family members. He'd definitely been making more of an effort since they'd reconciled, but she also suspected this wasn't something he was consciously doing – it was a just natural part of his current mindset of keeping her close to him to keep her safe.

* * *

 **Danny's Camaro  
** **0923 hours**

"Hey, Steve? Everything okay?" Danny asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Steve replied, glancing over briefly before refocusing on the road ahead.

"I'm, uh, wondering if there's something more than a bad night's sleep going on."

Steve sighed and was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I uh, I had a dream that hit me pretty hard."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Steve visibly tensed, extending his arms so they were braced against the steering wheel before relaxing again and sighing again, heavily. "Catherine was killed on that operation in Kiev, the one where her cover was almost blown and it just felt so… real. Then when I woke up, I was disoriented and forgot she was there because she'd only gotten home a couple hours before and for a few seconds I thought…" he trailed off, rubbing his fingers over his forehead.

"You thought she was dead?" Danny finished softly, studying his partner's profile.

Steve nodded, still looking out at the road in front of them. "It really messed me up."

"Completely understandable," Danny nodded, then added, "Ah… **_that's_** why you've been keeping her close all morning."

"Yeah, I guess I've been- Wait. What did you think was going on?"

Danny blushed. "Uh, I **_may_** have thought it had something to do with some Barry White."

Steve smirked and glanced over. "Well, now that you mention it," he said, not really wanting to talk about his and Catherine's sex life, but knowing it would wind up his friend. And it had the desired effect.

"Eck!" Danny exclaimed and put out his hands in the universal gesture for 'stop'. "You really suck, you know that? You are sometimes not a good friend," he told Steve, mostly teasing, but also secretly pleased that he'd successfully lightened his partner's mood, even a little.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't answer your question?" Steve retorted.

"Uh, a courteous friend. The kind of friend who respects his other friend's boundaries. The kind of friend who does not verbalize to his friend the type of information his friend has expressly asked him, multiple times, not to verbalize."

As Danny continued his rant Steve smiled, knowing his partner was trying to help him keep his mind off Catherine and appreciating the other man for it. He relaxed in his seat, knowing they were about three minutes from the Governor's mansion and prepared to listen to Danny extoll the virtues of 'good' friendship until they arrived.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Following morning, Wednesday, 0312 hours**

"Hello?" Catherine answered the phone sleepily then sat upright. "Yes… Understood… Copy that."

Steve woke when the phone rang and knew she was leaving again. "When," he asked her, bluntly.

"Half hour," she told him tiredly as she pushed back the covers and got out of bed.

"What?" he jumped up, anxiety and frustration ramping up, and stood next to her. "Cath, you've been home like 28 hours!" He stopped moving, stood directly in front of her, and looked into her eyes. "Seriously, you've been back on the island three months and I've seen you _maybe_ a third of the time. What kind of life is that?"

"It isn't!" she exclaimed, tears in her eyes. "But it's the life you signed up for!"

"Well, maybe I'm not okay with it anymore!" he shouted and saw her react almost as if he'd slapped her before she immediately entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

His anger instantly deflated and he stood, staring at the closed door.

He'd screwed up.

He knew it.

He felt like they'd just taken two giant leaps backwards in their reconciliation. Admittedly he was still off his game after the nightmare he'd had barely 24 hours ago and the idea of her being in danger, where he couldn't protect her tore him up inside. But she was right. He _had_ signed up for it, although he hadn't expected it to be _this_ hard. He hadn't expected that she'd be gone _this_ much. But he couldn't blame her. She'd had concerns and had expressed them to him, repeatedly, because she didn't want him to get hurt again. But he'd assured her he could handle it, that he'd wait for her because she was more important to him than having someone to come home to every night.

And he knew that was still true. He thought about how his heart still skipped a beat when he saw her enter a room and about the hours they'd spent talking about everything and nothing, all the times they'd laughed affectionately about something Danny had done or said, how much better he slept when she was beside him and when he didn't sleep well… how much comfort she'd been to him after his nightmare the day before. Images came unbidden to his mind; holding her in his arms, making love to her and the way they completed each other so perfectly. Nothing had changed. He would continue to wait for her because she was and would always be the most important person in his life.

And he needed to suck it up and deal so she could leave on a positive note.

She emerged from the bathroom and he immediately crossed to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," he told her sincerely.

"This is what I was afraid of," she told him sadly. "That it would be too much and we wouldn't be able to make it work." She held his gaze for several seconds. "Do you want out of this thing?" she asked him, echoing the words he'd said to her over two years before. "Because if you do-"

"No," he interrupted, shaking his head. "I'll admit this is harder than I thought it would be. But I still want you in my life."

"Are you sure?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said and pulled her into his arms. He checked his watch over her shoulder and groaned. "We don't have a lot of time," he said, and pulled back to place a quick kiss on her lips. "Get dressed, I'll pack your bag," he told her, suddenly in mission-planning mode.

She kissed him softly. "Thank you," she told him.

He smiled in reply and crossed to the dresser to start grabbing her clothes. Once she dressed she helped him finish and he carried her bag downstairs

"Do you have any idea how long you'll be gone?"

She shook her head. "Not too long, I hope." She eyed him carefully. "Are you going to be okay?"

The answer was 'no, he wasn't'. The anxiety he thought he'd tamped down on and locked away was rearing its ugly head and images from his nightmare were threatening to overwhelm him. "Don't go," he suddenly begged. "Please, stay."

She pulled him into her arms and held him close, hiding her distress because she knew she had to be strong. "I can't, Steve. You know that. I have to go," she said quietly but firmly. She pulled away enough to look him in the eye as she gently held his face with both hands. "But I would if I could. You have to know if there was _any_ way…"

He detected the slight tremble in her voice and reminded himself he couldn't burden her with this now. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I know that. I do." He opened his eyes to meet her worried ones and forced himself to express a confidence he didn't feel. "I'm sorry. I know you have to go. And we'll both be okay. Will you just… you're not going anywhere near Kiev, right?" he asked and anyone except those who knew him best would never had detected the uncertainty in his voice. But she heard it and it just reaffirmed for her what her departure, so soon after the trauma of his recent nightmare, was doing to him. He was hurting, and she was the cause of that pain. This is what she'd been concerned about when they agreed to give their relationship another chance.

"No," she reassured him. "I'm not going to Kiev, I promise you. And I will stay away from alleyways, and anyone who looks remotely suspicious," she added, with false levity in her voice. "I promise you I will be careful. And I'm pretty good at taking care of myself."

"I know you are," he assured her, then admitted, "I just wish I could go with you."

"I know you do," she said sadly, "but I have an amazing team backing me up." She smiled. "And they all know about you, and not one of them wants to have to answer to you if something happens to me," she teased, although there was also some truth to the statement.

"Okay." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He sighed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but any chance you'll be wrapping this mission up soon?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"I'd like to 'wrap it up' tomorrow, but you know it doesn't work that way," she told him, trying to project an appearance of calm while she was falling apart on the inside. She knew he was struggling and she needed to be strong for him, but she was struggling, too. The timing was terrible and she didn't want to leave him right now. But she didn't have the option to turn down the assignment so the best she could do was leave on a positive note, display a confidence she wasn't really feeling to reassure him that everything would be fine.

"I know, I know," he replied, soothingly, having sensed that she was becoming troubled and not wanting her carrying that with her while she was away. "It's okay, we'll get through it," he told her with a confidence he didn't feel and pulled her into a hug. "I'll miss you," he said into her hair. "Be safe, okay? Come home to me in one piece?"

"I'll do my best," she promised.

They saw headlights flash through the window and knew the car had arrived. She picked up her bag as he disabled the alarm, unlocked and opened the door. "See you soon, right?" he said with forced optimism and a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

She nodded. "Yeah, see you soon."

And with that she stepped out onto the porch and made her way to the waiting SUV, climbed in and shut the door. Steve watched the vehicle turn and pull down the driveway before closing and locking the door and resetting the alarm.

He climbed the stairs slowly, feeling dejected, but reminded himself that she didn't want to leave and being away from him was hard for her, too. When he reached the bedroom, he retrieved his phone and typed out a quick text. When a reply came through he typed another message, sent a response and placed the phone back on the charger. He climbed into bed and tried to get comfortable, knowing sleep wouldn't come easily but he had to at least try. He still hadn't shaken off the nightmare he'd had and reminded himself it was just a bad dream and that his nightmares were based on past experiences and did not predict the future. Hopefully Catherine would be back sooner rather than later.

* * *

Meanwhile, Catherine sat, head back against the seat and fighting tears. When her phone chimed she checked the screen.

 _I love you. So much. You know that, right?_

She closed her eyes for a moment before composing her reply. _I do. And I love you, too_. _I know it'll be hard, but try and get some more sleep, okay?_

 _I will. You know we're going to get through this, right?_

 _I know we will. Aloha._

 _Aloha._

She replaced her phone and settled in for the ride. She was no longer close to tears, but there was still something bothering her. Steve said he didn't want out of their relationship and she knew that he believed that. But she also knew the frequency of her absences was weighing on him more than he realized they would. And that nightmare had affected him deeply. She thought he'd gotten past it, having slept well before the call came in, but she just knew he'd be more concerned than usual for her safety. She was starting to worry he was getting close to a breaking point, and she was the cause. The idea of losing him again… A quick shiver went through her at the thought of that happening; she couldn't stand to hurt him. All she could do was work as efficiently as possible to get the job done so she could get home to Steve. She really hoped this would be a short trip and had no way of knowing it would be the longest one yet.

* * *

 _A/N: I_ _t seems maybe Steve hasn't been coping as well as he thought and having Catherine leave while he's still feeling so raw from the nightmare is not helping. But at least now Catherine knows some of what he's feeling, although the question is whether it's going to affect her ability to focus on her job so she can get home to him. They both still want to be together, but the almost constant separations are taking their toll on both of them._

 _I hope you don't all hate me too much and look forward to your thoughts on this chapter. Please remember the story is not over yet, there's more to come. Next chapter will be up tomorrow!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Thank you for your wonderful feedback on the last chapter, I'm happy it was so well received. Unfortunately there won't be any Catherine in this chapter as she's still away. But Steve misses her terribly and we'll find out more about how he's actually handling her absence. Also, he and Danny will talk about some things that needed to be said. I know Danny isn't a favorite character for many of you - but I feel like he's important for the interactions here._

 _I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 15

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Day of Catherine's departure, 0730 hours**

Danny arrived early to work, expecting to be alone in the office and dismayed to find his partner at his desk. He couldn't believe he and Catherine had come in this early and… noticed there was no sign of Catherine. She'd just gotten back, she wouldn't have had to leave again so soon, would she? Or maybe they'd had a fight. But he believed their relationship was solid and they would resolve any disagreements. Despite her being away so much Steve seemed happy they were making it work. Either way, Danny knew his partner would _not_ be in a good mood, especially after the talk they'd had the previous day.

He approached the door and knocked lightly before entering. "You're here early," He said once Steve looked up.

Steve tossed his pen down and scrubbed his hands down his face. "Yeah. Cath left about four hours ago and I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Ah, that explains why you look like crap," Danny said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Funny." Steve deadpanned, without any trace of humor.

"She was only back, what, a day?" Danny asked gently, trying to get Steve to open up.

"Trust me, I know." Steve said sharply, then sighed when Danny just stared at him. "Sorry," he said and sighed heavily. "I'm just frustrated."

"Everything's still good with you guys though, right?" Danny asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah," Steve said, not very convincingly and Danny called him on it.

"Hey, babe – you want to talk about it?"

Steve sighed again and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before directing his gaze back to his partner.

"I miss her, Danny. Every minute she's gone."

"I get that. But you still want to be with her, right? You still want to…" Danny paused to think, and mumbled "what did you call it?" before remembering Steve's words, "take her any way you can get her?"

"I love her, Danny. My life is better with her than without her so… yeah. I'll take her any way I can get her."

"How does she feel about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, is she positively giddy when they call her up, or…"

"Positively giddy? Really?" Steve asked with a roll of his eyes and Danny just waved for him to continue. "No, she's not happy about it. And she knows the timing of this one sucks. She wants to see this operation through, but I don't think she likes being away this much. She's making inroads into getting out, so that's good."

Danny chose his next words carefully, not wanting Steve to think he was questioning Catherine's motives. "Is there anything you've been able to do to help with the getting-out process?"

"Not really. It needs to be handled quietly so we don't end up on the wrong side of a scorched earth situation. Doris is working on it - she has a lot of leverage with the company."

"Doris?" Danny's eyebrows shot up. "And you believe she really wants to help?"

"Yes, I do." Steve reassured his friend. "We made our peace in Morocco and I honestly believe she wants me to be happy. And she knows having Catherine back full time will make me happy. And besides, I think she wants more grandchildren."

Danny cocked an eyebrow. "Is that in the cards?"

"Honestly? Danny, I don't know. Neither of us is getting any younger…" he shrugged before adding quietly, "and who knows if I'll be around long enough to watch them grow up."

"Everything okay with that?" Danny asked, worried.

"Yeah. I still get those 'episodes' occasionally. But they're milder than before and usually last only a few days." Steve reassured his friend. "But they can't tell me what the long-term effects are going to be. I'll get checkups regularly because cancer is a real concern going forward, but other than that there's not much else I can do."

Danny nodded. "You know you can always call me if you need help and Cath's not here, right?"

Steve smiled. "Yeah, man, I know. Thanks."

"Alright," Danny said, convinced he'd talked Steve down. "I came in early to do that paperwork, but it looks like you're already on it."

"Yeah. Why don't you catch me up on the case?"

"Well," Danny said, "you wouldn't believe this schmuck. This guy's so dumb he has to be watered twice a week. You know what I mean? He is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of its idiot. And then his quote, unquote partner?"

Steve laughed and sat back in his chair, smiling as his partner settled into the story, his hands flying everywhere as he punctuated his narrative.

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Two weeks later, 1138 hours**

Danny strode purposefully into Steve's office. "Grab your stuff, I'm taking you home."

"What? No." Steve said as sternly as he could.

"Yes. You're sick," Danny told him, and held up his hand to halt Steve's interruption. "I don't want to hear your litany of 'It's not that bad, I can handle it', blah, blah, blah. You feel like shit and you need to go home and rest."

Steve opened his mouth, then shut it without saying a word and nodded. He gathered the paperwork on his desk into a pile and locked it in one of the desk drawers before sliding his computer in its sleeve and standing. Danny pretended not to notice that Steve swayed slightly and had to place his hands on the desk to steady himself.

"You ready?" he asked, after a few moments.

"Yeah, let's go," Steve mumbled and Danny could tell he was still suffering from vertigo. He picked up the computer and followed his partner out of the office. Once they had cleared the double doors Danny led the way to the elevator.

"Don't even," he told Steve, anticipating an argument. "I'm not taking the chance that you face plant on the stairs."

Steve didn't say a word and obediently followed Danny into the elevator car, then out and across the lobby. "Stay here," he ordered once they'd exited the building. He pointed to a bench, "You can sit there and I don't know… pretend to be on the phone or something, but you're going to wait here for me to get the car."

Once again Steve did as his partner directed and sat heavily on the bench. He pulled out his phone and called Catherine's number, knowing she wouldn't be able to answer. When the voicemail picked up he listed to her recorded greeting and pictured her face. "Hi, Cath," he said tiredly. "Everything's okay. I just wanted to call and… I know you're busy but if you could call me back when you get a chance." He closed his eyes against the bright sun that was ramping up his headache. "I miss you, a lot, and I'm wo… I just want to know that everything's okay. I hope we can talk soon. I love you, Catherine. Aloha."

As he was disconnecting the call he saw the Camaro pull up to the curb. He appreciated that Danny didn't exit the car to provide assistance because there were people in the area and he didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions about his medical condition. He rose and made his way to the car, sinking gratefully into the seat and immediately leaning back with his eyes closed.

Danny evaluated his partner for a moment then asked earnestly, "You feel well enough to go home? Or should I take you to the hospital?"

"Home," Steve replied, eyes still closed.

"You sure? You don't look good," Danny pressed.

Steve opened his eyes and looked at Danny. "I'm sure. My heart rate is fine, and I don't feel like my blood pressure is elevated. I don't feel feverish and I'm not dehydrated. I'll be okay at home."

Satisfied with the answer Danny nodded and put the car in gear. He looked over a few minutes later to see that Steve had fallen asleep. Figuring the man needed the rest he slowed his speed to the limit and detoured down a less direct route, so by the time they arrived at the house Steve had been sleeping for about an hour.

When Danny brought the car to a stop in the driveway Steve stirred and realized where they were. He groaned and leaned forward before he closed his eyes against another rush of vertigo. When the passenger door opened he peered out and saw Danny standing there.

"I can get out of the car by myself," he grumbled, while slowly climbing out.

"Yes, you can," Danny agreed. "But that doesn't mean you should. You look like hell, babe."

"Thanks," Steve replied, as he walked past Danny toward the house.

Danny moved passed him, unlocked the door and disarmed the alarm system as Steve was entering the house. He made his way to the sofa and sank down on it gratefully then looked over at his partner.

"Thanks, Danny."

"You're welcome." Danny replied. "Now what do you need? You want to sleep? Or watch TV for a while? I can make you something to eat if you're hungry…"

"You don't have to stay," Steve told him quietly, "I'm just gonna sleep for a while and then I'll be fine."

"Well then I guess I'll be watching you sleep because I'm not leaving you alone. I already told Lou we wouldn't be back today, so you're stuck with me."

Steve tried to glare at his partner but it was far from effective and he finally just closed his eyes in defeat. "Some water would be great, thank you. And could you get the thermometer? I should probably check my temperature."

Danny was already halfway up the stairs and called down, "Already on it, babe. You want some Tylenol, too?"

When Danny returned to the living room Steve was laying down with a throw pillow under his head. He set a glass of water and a bottle of acetaminophen on the coffee table and handed the thermometer to Steve.

"Ninety-eight point four," Steve said tiredly. "I told you I didn't have a fever."

"And I believed you or we would be at the hospital right now," his partner replied. He opened the medication bottle, shook two tablets out and handed them to Steve. When he turned back with the glass of water he rolled his eyes because his partner had dry-swallowed the pills. "Here," he told him, "drink this."

"Sir, yes sir," Steve said, did as he was told and handed back the empty glass.

Danny placed it on the coffee table and sank into the recliner. "Why do you have to be so difficult?" he asked, honestly questioning his partner's motives. "I bet you wouldn't give Catherine such a hard time."

At the mention of Catherine's name Steve closed his eyes and sighed.

Danny immediately regretted what he'd said. "Sorry, buddy," he apologized, "I know you miss her."

"It's okay, Danno. Thanks for being here."

"You're welcome, babe," Danny said quietly. "Why don't we see what's on the tube in the middle of a weekday, huh?" he added as he reached for the remote. After he flipped through the channels for a minute he glanced over and saw that Steve was already asleep, so he turned off the television and moved into the kitchen to prepare some food for when his partner woke up.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **1737 hours**

Steve opened his eyes and blinked in the light. He stretched slowly and was pleased that he felt a bit better. He sat up slowly and noted his headache was now down to a dull throb. He was just preparing to stand when Danny walked into the room.

"Hey, you're awake," the blonde said then studied his friend. "You look better. How are you feeling?"

"Better," Steve admitted. "Kind of hungry."

"Good. I figured you would be and have a couple of options for you, depending on what sounds appealing. I made some parmesan risotto or if that's too heavy it'll keep and we can go with something like soup or oatmeal."

Steve had been going to protest, but was impressed with and appreciative of his partner's thoughtfulness so he gave it some honest thought. "The risotto sounds really good, actually."

Danny smiled, pleased that Steve was feeling better, and also at the man's willingness to accept his help. "Excellent. Give me a couple minutes and I'll bring you a bowl. You want more water or some juice?"

"I don't have any juice, Danny."

"You didn't have ingredients for parmesan risotto either," Danny pointed out. "I went to the store. Now you have juice. You want a glass?"

"Maybe just some water," Steve replied. "Thank you."

Danny exited the room and returned a few minutes later with a tray laden with two bowls of risotto and two glasses of water. He set it down and handed a bowl and fork to Steve who immediately dug into the creamy rice.

Danny watched him eat, pleased he was enjoying the meal. "You want me to get you some more?" he asked when Steve placed the empty bowl on the table.

"I can get it," Steve replied and stood slowly, testing whether the vertigo was gone and finding it was. "You need anything?" he asked Danny who shook his head. He moved toward the kitchen, refilled the bowl and returned to the living room, settling again on the sofa. Once he finished with the second serving he placed the bowl on the table and looked up at his partner.

"That was really good. Thanks, Danny."

"You're welcome," Danny replied. "It's nice to see your appetite is back."

"My appetite's been fine," Steve insisted.

"Then why do you look like you've lost some weight?" Danny pointed out.

Steve shrugged, knowing full well he hadn't been eating properly and had, indeed, lost a few pounds.

"Seriously, it is just that you've been nauseous? Or is there something else going on?"

Steve shifted, uncomfortable with Danny's level of scrutiny. "You're right okay," he finally admitted. "I haven't been feeling well for a few days and I haven't been eating much."

"I know you told me a few weeks ago you've still been having these 'episodes' on an off. Is this pretty typical?"

"No, I usually don't feel this bad," Steve admitted.

"Any idea why this one might be worse?"

"I dunno, Danny," he said on a sigh. "But I haven't been sleeping well since Catherine left, so I got pretty run down. That's probably part of it."

Danny leaned forward. "You been having more nightmares?" he asked, honestly worried.

Steve shook his head. "I just don't sleep as well without her next to me and it's been worse this time. I'm not sure how I did it all those years we were apart," he admitted quietly.

"Any idea when she'll be back?"

Steve sighed heavily. "No, I don't. And we didn't leave things… well," he said quietly.

Danny looked concerned, but waited for Steve to continue.

"I didn't deal well with her having to leave so soon after she got back, and how much she's been gone. I said something I shouldn't have, which I apologized for and we talked about it, but…" He trailed off.

"But what?" Danny prompted.

"But I always try to send her off on a positive note."

"That's understandable. I guess, if something were to happen, you would want good memories, right?"

"Yeah," Steve said slowly, "but it's more than that. There's an expression, 'send them off with a smile'."

"Why do you need to be happy about her leaving you behind?" Danny asked, which just a hint of disdain.

Steve was becoming frustrated with Danny's line of questioning and the tone of his questions. "Because she needs to focus on what she's doing so she comes home, Danny. You can't be distracted when you're in a war zone, or you can get yourself or other people killed."

"Yeah, but she's not going to war," Danny said, dismissively, "she's just off playing spy games somewhere."

Steve jumped to his feet. "It is a war!" he exclaimed. "Don't you get it, Danny?" he asked, using his hands to emphasize his point. "She's out there trying to take down some terrorist, or terror cell and they would like nothing more than to take her down!" Breathing heavily due to his outburst he turned away while trying to calm down.

"Hey, you all right?" Danny asked to his partner's back.

Steve nodded and took several deep breaths before sitting and again facing his friend.

"It's the war on terror, Danny. Just because it's not traditional warfare doesn't mean it isn't just as dangerous," he said, leaving no room for argument.

"Okay. I'm sorry," Danny said, sincerely and watched Steve closely. When he felt his friend had had enough time he changed the subject slightly. "I thought you didn't know what's she's doing."

"I don't. Not specifically." Steve sighed. "I don't know the details of her mission. But Danny, I'm familiar with how these types of things work. The mission she's on is the same one from when she first left two years ago. She's had the same target for all that time which means it's a person or organization that's very well insulated and hard to get to. That makes it seriously bad news." Steve was starting to get agitated again. "I've been on similar missions, Danny, I tracked the Hesse brothers for **_five_** years before I captured Anton, remember?"

"Right, right," Danny agreed. "I didn't think about it that way," he said, sincerely. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to get you all riled up."

Steve looked at him for a moment, evaluating, then waved him off. "It's okay," he said, but then fixed his gaze securely on his friend. "But, Danny," he said firmly, "she deserves your respect. She's out there putting herself on the line to keep all of us safe. And I'm proud of her for it. Even if it's difficult for me and I'd rather have her here…"

"You're right," Danny said, thoughtfully.

They were both quiet for a moment.

"If her mission is like yours was…" Danny asked quietly. "Does that mean people at home are at risk? I mean, what happened with your dad…"

Steve leaned forward, his posture less rigid. "No, I don't think so. They've changed some things since that happened. And she's working with the CIA and they do things a little differently. Most likely the target doesn't even know who the major players are and, if they do it she's working as a covert operative which means her real identity is well protected."

Danny nodded, reassured. "So, once this mission is over she's done with the CIA?"

"We hope so. But the CIA doesn't commit to things like that. And if they do… well, they're not always good at keeping their word unless you have some leverage," Steve admitted.

"So… what do you do if they don't want to let her quit?"

"That shouldn't be a problem," Steve told him. "Doris is working on it and she's got the kind of influence we need."

Danny smirked at his friend. "Uh, you mom is working on getting your girlfriend out of the CIA… You do realize how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

Steve huffed. "Welcome to my life, Danno."

"Yeah, I'm already well acquainted, thanks," Danny replied with a smile, not even trying to cover the sarcasm. Then he was quiet for a moment, pondering. "But seriously, what if it comes to that? Your mom had to fake her death. Could it…" He trailed off, loathe to finish the thought.

Steve looked him squarely in the eyes. "It's not something you need to worry about," he said firmly.

"You didn't answer my question," Danny pressed, not swayed by his partner's expression.

"Yes, I did," Steve said, slowly for emphasis. "I told you it's not something you need to worry about."

Danny gestured wildly. "Well, now I'm officially worried about it!"

Frustrated, Steve studied his friend and realized Danny wasn't going to be able to let it go until he got the answers he sought. He sighed. "Could it come to that?" he said, gesturing with his hands before scrubbing both of them over his face. He looked down at his feet before focusing back on his partner. "I want to tell you 'no', but the truth is I don't really know," he said. "Maybe."

Danny's eyes widened. "Do you know what Catherine would do?" he asked, carefully.

Steve held Danny's gaze for several moments. "We'd do it together," he finally admitted quietly.

"You'd…" Danny looked at him, his brows furrowed. "You'd what, fake your deaths together?" he asked, and knew the answer when Steve just looked at him with that thousand-yard stare. "You'd leave your life behind to what?" he asked, unwilling to believe what he was hearing. "Go on the run?"

"Potentially, yes."

"You'd make that kind of sacrifice?"

"Yes, Danny. I would make that kind of sacrifice," Steve told him, without hesitation. "I've been making sacrifices since I was 15 years old and thought I lost my mother in a fake car bomb. I've lost so much… so many years with Catherine…" he made eye contact with his friend. "I won't sacrifice my relationship with her again."

"So, you'd sacrifice your relationship with us instead?"

"I…" Steve closed his eyes and exhaled before making eye contact with Danny. "You know how much you mean to me. You're my brother. And Grace and Charlie and the team… You know I would do anything for any one of you. But I won't lose Catherine again, not if I have a choice. So, if it came down to it I would choose her."

Danny looked at his friend in wonder. "You love her _that_ much?"

Steve nodded and just shrugged, like it was something he admitted every day of the week.

"But Danny," he said emphatically, "it's not something you need to worry about. The chances of that happening… I'd fight like hell to do it any other way before we get to that point."

"What," Danny gestured, "you have some kind of a plan?"

Steve smirked. "Really Danno? When have you known me to not have a plan? And you know how stubborn I am, and how much I hate to lose."

Danny visibly relaxed. "Yes. I am well acquainted with both of those facets of your personality."

"Then you know you can trust me when I say you don't need to worry about it, right? And you'll let this go?"

Danny sighed. "Yes, Steven. I will let this go. But you have to promise me if it did ever come to… that, you'd let me know, somehow."

Steve smiled victoriously. "Done. It's already part of the plan."

* * *

 _A/N: Catherine's absence this time is really taking a toll on Steve - not just mentally but physically, too. But Danny stepped up and I think they had a nice talk. It's really not surprising that Steve has a contingency plan (or probably more than one). Hopefully they're never need it!_

 _P.S. I have no idea if 'send them off with a smile' is a real expression, but I think I read it somewhere and it stuck with me. Either way I thought it fit the story._


	16. Chapter 16

_Wow! Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I felt it was important for Steve & Danny to have a conversation and it seems most of you agreed, your feedback is so valuable to be sure I'm staying on the right track with the story! _

_I'm sorry for the later posting today, unfortunately it couldn't be avoided. This chapter is going to be a bit shorter but I don't think anyone will mind..._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 16

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Friday, mid-September, 1630 hours**

It had been a month since Danny had dragged Steve out of the office and forced him to convalesce at home. The blonde detective had insisted his partner take a second day off and made sure the time was spent resting so Steve had finally been able to get some sleep and had returned to work feeling better, but still not completely well.

Catherine had not returned home; she'd now been away now for just over six weeks. She'd missed Chin's departure for a job in San Francisco along with Kono's departure for a long-term stay on the mainland trying to put a stop to a human trafficking organization they'd already dismantled on Oahu

She'd also missed the anniversary of Steve's father's death, a day he'd been miserable spending alone while struggling with both the loss of his father and the absence of the woman he loved. And his illness had flared up again for a third time, finally prompting him to visit the doctor. He'd been prescribed a course of medication and a couple days off work to help manage the symptoms. After following doctor's orders, he had eventually started to feel like himself again, as much as was possible until Catherine was home safe.

He'd finally been able to manage a full day at work and was at his desk reviewing what he'd missed while away from the office. He looked up as Lou knocked on the door.

"Hey, Steve, you mind if I cut out a little early? Renee got tied up and she asked if I could get Will from practice."

Steve waved his hand. "Yeah, Lou. No problem. Have a good weekend." He returned to his paperwork as Lou exited but looked up again when he heard the door open.

"Hey, man? Can we talk for a minute?" Lou asked.

"Uh, yeah. What's on your mind?"

"How ya been? You don't look good and I'm not the only one who's noticed," Lou told him frankly. "We hoped you'd be feeling better after those coupla days you took, but…"

Steve sat back in his chair and scrubbed his hands over his face. "Yeah, I've been feeling a little under the weather, some of the symptoms of radiation poisoning have, uh… flared up. The doc thinks it's stress-related. But I've got some meds and it's nothing I can't handle."

Lou was reflective for a moment. "Must be a coincidence that it seems to happen when Catherine's away, huh?" He stood. "Well, you have a good weekend, try to get some rest," he said before exiting the office.

Steve was so caught up in what Lou had just brought to his attention that he didn't even realize right away the man had left the office. How had he not noticed that his symptoms seemed to flare up when Catherine was gone? And could the severity be related to how long she was away? This time she'd been gone for a month and a half and they'd been in touch only three times. Well, not exactly in touch. He'd left her several messages and received three back. Her messages all said she was fine and would get home as quickly as she could. But she had sounded different… _off_ somehow and it was starting to remind him of when she was in Afghanistan. That had resulted in her being recruited into the CIA and feeding him a cover story that said she'd found her place and he shouldn't wait for her. The very idea that something similar could happen now sent chills down his spine.

But he kept telling himself this was different. That he knew the truth about what she was doing and there were no more lies she'd been ordered to tell him. He believed that she loved him, wanted to be with him and would be coming home to him. But there was still a clenching in his gut that he couldn't explain and he'd learned not to ignore it. He just hoped it was wrong this time.

* * *

 **McGarrett Residence  
** **Four days later / Monday, 1803 hours**

Steve opened the door to tantalizing scents coming from the kitchen and his heart leapt at the idea Catherine was home.

"Cath?" he called out as he headed that way.

She was coming around the island as he entered the room. He immediately strode to her, wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her freshly shampooed hair combined with the tantalizing aroma of her Grandmother's sauce. "You're really here."

"I really am," she replied, smiling. "I owed you some Ragù," she teased.

He bark-laughed and squeezed her even tighter, relishing the feel of having her in his arms before he pushed her up against the counter and kissed her deeply. She immediately responded just as passionately.

When they finally came up for air Catherine, trying to catch her breath, said "Stove."

Steve reached over and turned off the burner before untying the apron she wore and letting it fall to the floor, immediately followed by both her shirt and his before he dove in for her lips again. When lack of oxygen forced him to break the kiss he lifted her into his arms and asked, "Counter or floor?" eyeing both.

She chuckled as she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him again. "Neither," she said, punctuating her words with kisses. "Food… in… here…. Need… bed."

He groaned and turned, heading quickly for the stairs, trying to concentrate on getting them there safely while her roaming hands distracted him. Once they entered the bedroom he immediately turned and pushed her up against the wall, seeking her lips again. Desperate for breath, he pulled away for a heartbeat before moving to her ear, running his tongue along the shell then trailing kisses down to her collarbone and sucking on her pulse point.

"Hmmm..." he hummed against her skin. "I missed you. Haven't been able to touch you in-"

He broke off as one of her hands headed south and moved beneath his waistband while the other fumbled with his belt.

He pulled away from her long enough to remove his gun and badge and place them on the bedside table before turning and backing her toward the bed. He reached around and unclasped her bra and made quick work of divesting her of her shorts and panties before maneuvering her down and crawling over her.

"You're way overdressed, sailor," she moaned, trying again to undo his belt buckle.

"Don't worry," he told her, as he trailed his hand down her body to where she wanted, needed him the most. "I'm not going anywhere and we've got plenty of time."

She smiled and dropped her head back against the bed, relishing the sensations he was evoking in her.

* * *

Two hours later they lay together, Steve's body curled up next to hers. He had both arms wrapped tightly around her and was trailing his fingers gently up and down her arm.

She hesitated to break the spell they were under but finally admitted, "Being here with you like this is amazing… but I'm kinda hungry. And I should probably check on dinner."

He groaned. "But that would require getting up and I'm enjoying this too much."

She laughed. "Well, then we should stay here."

He resumed his ministrations until her stomach rumbled, loudly.

He chuckled. "Okay. Maybe we should get you fed."

"I guess we could eat in bed," she told him. "But it'll be a little while since I need to cook the pasta and reheat the sauce."

"No,'' he sighed, "I'll come down with you. But," he said, placing open mouthed kisses across her shoulder blade, "I can't promise I won't distract you."

She turned in his embrace to kiss him gently before running her hand down his arm and lacing their fingers together. "I'm sure you will." She kissed him again. "But I think I can handle it," she said with a smile.

He helped her up and they both found something to pull on, since half their clothes were still in the kitchen. They made their way downstairs and he gathered their clothing while she moved to the stove to check the sauce. "Looks good," she told him, "no damage done."

His stomach rumbled and she laughed.

"Good," he said with a smile, "I guess I'm hungrier than I thought."

She stirred the sauce and lit the burner under it before retrieving a pot for pasta, filling it with water and setting it to boil. She moved to the fridge to pull out items for the salad and placed them on the island. When she turned to get a cutting board, he was right behind her and immediately enfolded her in his embrace.

"You were too far away," he said into her hair, needing to touch her, to feel physical reassurance she was there.

She pulled back enough to place a kiss on his lips before leaning back to look at him. "You wanna help with the salad?"

He nodded and they washed their hands then stood side by side at the counter, arms touching occasionally as they chopped vegetables and arranged them in the bowl. When the water boiled she moved to the stove to add the pasta and stir the sauce and once again found him directly behind her as she turned.

He shifted her to the side to box her in against the counter and leaned in for another kiss. "God, I missed you," he told her softly when they both came up for air.

She dropped her arms from his neck and wrapped them around his waist. "I missed you, too. So much," she told him. "And I'm so happy to be home," she added as she squeezed him tighter and stretched up to kiss him gently.

He responded immediately, deepening the kiss and she reciprocated, savoring the feel of his lips and his body pressed against hers. She ground her hips against him and whimpered when he pulled away.

He rested his forehead against hers, drawing in a ragged breath and admitted quietly, "We need to stop now or we're going to have to warm everything up again."

She bit her lip and nodded her head. "You're right," she agreed, before placing a series of quick pecks on his lips. "We eat first," she said, decisively before pushing him away gently. "Why don't you go set the table?"

"Roger that," he told her before pushing off the counter and turning to gather flatware before heading into the dining room.

She stood where she was for a moment, eyes closed and relishing the memory of being in his arms before she turned to finish pulling together the meal.

* * *

They enjoyed their dinner and rather than rushing through the meal to return to the bedroom they found themselves lingering at the table, catching up. Steve had opened a bottle of wine and after two large glasses Catherine was feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Steve noticed her eyes droop slightly and pushed back his chair. "Come on, let's get this cleared up and go to bed," he told her.

"Hmmm…." She moaned appreciatively and reached out to run her hand down his arm. "We can continue where we left off."

"Or," he said as he pulled out her chair and helped her up, "we can sleep. When's the last time you got any?"

"Sleep," she teased, "or sex?"

He grinned at her and shook his head. "Sleep. You look tired. Why didn't you take a nap when you got home?" he asked as he gathered plates. "Grab the glasses?" he asked as he turned for the kitchen.

She picked up the wine glasses and followed him. "Because I wanted to cook for you."

He put down the dirty dishes and turned his head to her. "And I appreciate it – the meal was delicious. But we could have had it another night."

"I know…"

Something in her tone made him stop what he was doing and focus fully on her.

"Cath?"

She shook her head. "Let's get this cleaned up so we can go upstairs."

He stilled her hands and took them in his own. "Hey, I can tell there's something bothering you. You want to tell me what it is?"

She shook her head again then sighed. "Not really. But I guess I probably should," she said with an honesty partially attributable to the wine.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked gently.

She sighed. "After the argument we had before I left, and being gone so long without any real communication… I wondered if maybe I shouldn't come home."

"Not come home? Why?" he asked, confused and understandably upset at the thought.

"Because if we can't make it work I'll lose you again and I don't think I could handle that. And the last thing I want is to hurt you. And I wondered if maybe you might have changed your mind," she admitted softly.

"About what?" he asked, honestly puzzled.

"About wanting to be with me," she told him before looking away to hide the tears in her eyes and adding quickly, "I didn't call ahead or unpack or take a nap just in case…" she broke off and buried her head in his chest.

"In case… what?" he thought for a moment then realization struck him like a train. "In case I didn't want you here? God, Catherine, you thought I might not want you to come home?"

He felt her nod against him and heard her sniffling. He closed his eyes as he gathered her in his arms and held her tight, trying to comfort her. "Nothing could be further from the truth," he told her emphatically.

"I'm sorry," she said a few moments later, once she had regained some control.

He leaned back enough to make eye contact with her. "Don't be," he said. "I'm glad you told me, because it's something I needed to hear.

I'm the one who needs to apologize and I'm so sorry I said what I did. You had reservations and I convinced you I knew what I was getting into, and then to throw that back in your face…" He closed his eyes briefly. "I know that had to hurt. And I didn't mean it, not really."

He wiped her eyes and kissed her before lifting her up to sit on the counter so she'd be eye level with him. "This _has_ been harder than I thought it would be, I honestly didn't think you'd be gone so much and not having you here plus worrying every minute you're gone…" he sighed. "I would be lying if I didn't admit I started to think about when you were in Afghanistan and how that ended up. Truthfully, I did ask myself whether it was worth it. But only for a second, because that's how long it took me to realize that it is."

He brushed hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. "I told Danny this and now I'll tell you. My life is better with you than without you. I love you, Catherine, so much. So, for now I'll take you any way I can get you." He cupped her cheeks and leaned down to place a kiss full of love and promise on her lips. "But I can't tell you how much I long for the day you're done with the CIA and can be here with me full time."

She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. "Me, too. And we're definitely getting there." She bit her lip. "But we can talk about that later. Right now I'd rather do other things."

He smiled and searched her eyes. "I thought you were tired."

"I was." She shrugged, "But I guess I've got my second wind."

"Then we might as well take advantage of it," he said. "Do you want to take care of this while I lock up so we don't have to come back down tonight?" he suggested and she nodded. "Meet you upstairs?" he told her, placing a quick kiss on her lips.

She nodded, getting immediately to the task of putting the leftovers away and filling the pans with water to soak. Neither of them liked to leave the dishes unwashed, but she figured they could make an exception this time.

Steve left the kitchen to check all the doors and make sure the alarm was set and was already in the bed, wearing nothing but a smile, when she entered the room. She closed her eyes as heat pooled in her belly and wasted no time removing her clothes and joining him on the bed. She straddled his thighs and he leaned forward and gave her a searing kiss which, when coupled with the wine they'd had earlier made her head spin. She reached for his shoulders to steady herself and he shifted to lay her back against the bed as he hovered over her before dipping his head to cover her mouth with his. They had a lot of missed time to make up for and planned to relish every minute of it.

* * *

 _A/N: Yay! Catherine's finally home safe and they've already started making up for lost time! :)_


	17. Chapter 17

_Your loyal readership and reviews continue to amaze me - I appreciate all of you and thank you so much for your support for this story. I feel like there were fewer reviews for the last chapter, so maybe it didn't strike a chord with many of you, but hopefully you'll be sticking with the story anyway._

 _My posting schedule will have the last chapter of this story being published before the new season starts on Friday, so we'll be wrapping this up sooner rather than later - thank you in advance for sticking with it through the end!_

 _I apologize for the late posting, especially to those readers in Europe who are likely sleeping as this chapter goes up. I decided to make some last minute changes to this chapter in response to some of your feedback. I feel the story is definitely better for it, but the chapter may contain more errors than usual as I haven't re-read as obsessively as usual, so please forgive me if you find any._

 _Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 17

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Tuesday, 0834 hours**

Catherine, waking from a good night's sleep, stretched and rolled over, draping herself over Steve and emitting a happy moan. She traced lazy patterns on his abdomen, opening her eyes when she encountered his ribs. She shifted so she could see his face and realized he was awake, lying with one arm under his head and watching her.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," he told her with a contented smile.

"Good morning, Commander," she replied. "What time is it? You're not swimming today?"

"It's 0830 hours," he told her, "and I'll swim later. I wanted to be here when you woke up."

She hummed happily and stretched to kiss him gently. "Thank you." Her smile faded to a pout when she asked, "Do you have to go in today?"

He shook his head with a grin. "Not unless we're under imminent threat of thermo-nuclear war."

"Good," she said, placing a gentle kiss on his chest, "because I missed this."

"What did you miss?" he teased then rolled on his side to face her. "Because I missed being able to do this…" he said softly, before placing a feather-light kiss on her lips. "And this…" he added before nipping at her jaw and down the column of her throat as she stretched to accommodate him. "And this…" he said into her shoulder as he continued lavishing her pulse point while he pushed down the sheet and trailed his fingers ever-so-gently over her hip and down her thigh. Finished with his teasing, he rolled her to her back and leaned in over her. "I missed this most of all," he said with longing in his voice before taking her mouth in a deep kiss.

When they came up for air she hummed happily and whispered, "Me, too," before he dipped his head and kissed her again with all the passion of a man who had six weeks of missed time to make up for.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Tuesday, 0955 hours**

Catherine watched Steve carefully as he ate the pancakes she had prepared for them. She was trying to gauge his appetite since she had noticed earlier that his ribs were more prominent now than when she'd left. He had eaten multiple servings of her grandmother's Ragu the night before and seemed to be enjoying his breakfast this morning, so his hunger didn't currently seem to be a problem.

But had he been ill? The prospect of him dealing with that alone while she was away did not sit well with her, and she knew it was a topic they needed to discuss.

"You must have been hungry," she commented as he speared another forkful with gusto.

"Hmmm…" he agreed, his mouth full. He swallowed and told her, "You know I love your pancakes."

She nodded with a small smile. "You look thinner than when I left... Have you lost some weight?" she asked, gently.

He put down his fork and focused his attention on her. "Yeah, I uh, I did," he said carefully. "The radiation sickness flared up and I didn't have much of an appetite for a little while. But I felt better once I got some sleep and was able to eat something."

"Good, that's good," she said slowly. "So, you were here?" she asked, curious if he'd needed to be hospitalized.

Steve nodded.

"You weren't…" she trailed off, "I mean how—"

Steve placed his hand on her knee. "You want to know the details?" he asked, not really wanting to discuss it but reminding himself how he'd feel if the situation were reversed and he'd just returned home from a long deployment.

She nodded. "I hate that I wasn't here for you when you were sick, but I feel like it's important for me to know what happened."

He nodded to let her know he understood. "I, uh, I was pretty miserable at work for a couple days and Danny decided to drag me out of the office and drive me home. I never had a fever or any severe symptoms but my energy level was pretty low and I had a headache, some vertigo and a lot of nausea. I think I was just run down because after I took a nap the first day I felt better and was actually able to keep some food down. It turns out Danny makes a pretty great parmesan risotto that agreed with my queasy stomach."

"So, were you run down because you were just busy at work or…"

"Uh, not exactly. I mean, yes, we were busy but I also hadn't been sleeping well," he admitted.

"I don't sleep well without you, either," she told him quietly and he nodded his agreement.

"So, it was just that one time?" she pressed gently.

He sighed heavily, not wanting to go into specifics but realizing she deserved to know the truth. "No, there were three episodes in total. I went to the doctor during the third one and got some meds, took a couple more days off, and since then I've been feeling pretty good." He smiled. "Especially since you got home," he told her honestly. "Having you here is definitely better than any prescription I could take."

She smiled, knowing he was changing the subject and willing to let him. She knew he was not reckless with his health but wouldn't typically see a doctor unless there was a valid reason to. So, as soon as she got a chance she planned to talk to Danny, just to double-check that Steve hadn't glossed over any important details.

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Thursday, 1235 hours**

"Hey, Danny," Catherine said as she poked her head into Danny's office, "do you have a minute?"

"For you? Always," he said, warmly and with a smile.

She smiled her thanks and took a seat on the sofa.

"Steve on his way back?" the blonde detective asked and Catherine nodded. "Good, I'm hungry," Danny commented, looking forward to the sandwich Steve was supposed to be stopping for after his meeting at HPD.

"I just wanted to thank you for taking care of Steve when he was sick. I hear you make a mean parmesan risotto," she said, lightly.

Danny shrugged. "I thought it might be something he could keep down, and it worked out all right," he told her, easily.

"Well, I appreciate it. Knowing you were here for him when I…" she broke off and closed her eyes, hoping to avoid having a breakdown in front of her friend.

Danny moved from behind the desk so he was seated next to her and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Don't worry about it," he told her and she turned slightly to look at him. "He was actually less of a handful than usual. I was uh, I was actually impressed when he decided to go see the doctor all by himself. Usually I have to drag him there kicking and screaming."

Catherine laughed. "I know he's not always the best patient," she admitted.

It was Danny's turn to laugh. "Yeah, I guess that's one way to look at it," he said with a smile. "Or maybe you just have more patience than I do. He's definitely been on his best behavior since you got back."

Catherine tilted her head in question.

"He's, uh, he is the best version of himself when you are around," he told her sincerely. "He always has been, since I've known him. And when you are not he's…" Danny searched for the words to properly describe the phenomenon, "he's more closed off, more miserable, and just… less human." He paused before continuing. "Having you around brings out the best in him. It always has. But now that you are back in his life, even when you're away, he's still in a better place."

Catherine smiled her gratitude at Danny's reassuring words.

"But," he added, seriously, "I think there's something you need to know but please don't tell him I told you because I know he doesn't want you to worry about him."

"Okay," Catherine replied, hesitantly.

"The doctor told him it was stress-related and me and Lou, we noticed that it seemed to get worse the longer you were gone. So, I know what you're doing is important but…"

Catherine nodded, slowly, before making eye contact with Danny. "But it would better if I were around more," she said with a sigh. "Roger that, Danny. Thanks," she said quietly.

She appreciated Danny's honesty, but it just ramped up her anxiety about her next assignment and how Steve would handle being left behind. But she told herself there was nothing either of them could do about it so rather than worrying she should focus on making the most of the time they had together.

* * *

C **atherine's Corvette  
** **Monday, late October, 1750 hours**

Catherine eyed the stop-and-go traffic ahead of her with a smile on her face. She'd been home for five wonderful weeks and she and Steve had fallen back into the same pattern as before she left the first time.

She was still 'helping' at Five-0 when needed, which ended up being pretty much every day because they had two new people since Chin and Kono left. There were definitely days when Catherine knew her assistance wasn't strictly necessary, but Steve could always find a reason for her to be there – he'd actually gotten pretty inventive with it. She appreciated he was trying to be with her as much as possible and the informal arrangement allowed her the opportunity to take off for a few hours of personal time, to pay a visit to the agency field office if needed, or to take long lunches with Steve (some of which may have been spent at home in bed).

She'd also spent quite a bit of time pondering her CIA operation. She and her team had made a lot of headway on their objective during their last trip and she hoped they'd be able to wrap it up within a few more months. Truthfully, she'd missed home even more than she thought she would which was an eye opener that her priorities had shifted.

She'd been working on the same mission objective for more than two years now and had initially approached it with a vengeance, having blamed it for losing Steve. But, since they'd rekindled their relationship the mission had become less and less important to her. She believed fully the organization in question would eventually be taken down, with or without her help and her time could be better spent elsewhere. If the opportunity were to present itself she was now more than ready to hand over the reins to someone else in order to settle down permanently with Steve.

With that in mind she'd also been using her down time and, with Steve's permission, some of Five-0's resources to discretely contact Doris. She'd initially reached out to Steve's mother months earlier, as she and Steve had discussed when they first decided to give their relationship another try. She knew through her sources at the agency that Doris had Wo Fat's father holed up somewhere. The powers-that-be had not been very happy that Catherine had taken part in the operation in Morocco but luckily, she had felt very little backlash from it.

Doris had been right when she told her son in Morocco she had enough leverage to protect them all, but it was more than that. Steve's mother had an excellent reputation at the CIA as a damn good field operative, but also as a real pain in the ass. So, it had surprised very few when her son turned out to be one, too. Steve had run afoul of the CIA several times and pissed them off plenty on his own, but there was still a grudging respect for him. Nobody particularly wanted to face the wrath of dual McGarretts if issues with Catherine Rollins arose and that, coupled with the fact that her expertise was pretty vital to her current mission had resulted in very minimal consequences for her actions.

The higher ups weren't thrilled when they learned one of their prized agents had resumed her relationship with Doris McGarrett's son because it certainly complicated things for them. But when Doris heard rumblings of it and put the word out to leave them alone her threat was heeded.

So, Doris had not been surprised when Catherine contacted her for assistance getting out of the agency and they had established a communication link via the help of Joe White, some coded messages, a few dead drops and a never-ending string of burner phones so nothing could be traced back. Doris had let Catherine know she was formulating a plan to extricate the younger woman from the clutches of the CIA and allow her to resume living her life like an ordinary citizen. Since Catherine's cover was that she was back with the Navy, working with Special Activities Division (the branch that typically worked joint operations with the CIA) it would be no problem to have her 'retire' again. The bigger issue, and what Doris was focusing on the most was ensuring Catherine and Steve were left alone once that happened.

Since she'd returned from her latest assignment Catherine been able to exchange a few messages with Doris and earlier in the day had learned the older woman had made some headway on Catherine's exit strategy, which was welcome news and responsible for the smile that seemed to have been permanently affixed to her face for the last hour. She'd relayed back to Doris that she was getting anxious and to accelerate the timeframe, if possible. Knowing she'd done all she could she'd hopped in her car and was headed home, intending to enjoy spending as much time as she could with Steve, both in and out of work.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **1835 hours**

Steve arrived home to find Catherine's car in the driveway and smiled. He hadn't expected her to be home this early from her meetings at the field office downtown. He entered the house and noticed the lanai doors open. He called for her just in case but wasn't surprised when he received no response so he proceeded outside. He saw Catherine standing on the beach, with her pants rolled up and her feet in the ocean. He paused for a moment to admire the beauty of the image she made standing in the sun. She saw him approaching and flashed him a beaming smile. As soon as he was within arm's reach she drew him in for a tight hug.

Smiling, he observed, "You're in a good mood."

"I heard back from Doris," she told him enthusiastically, "she's getting closer to getting me out."

Steve's heart swelled that Catherine was so excited at the prospect of finally being done with the CIA. He believed she'd always planned to get out, but back in May, when she'd first returned to Oahu she had been torn between her commitment to him and her determination to see her mission through to the end. Now, she was finally fully ready to hand over the mission and let someone else finish it out so she could be with him full time.

He squeezed her tighter and then leaned back to brush the wayward strands of hair from her face before he dove in for a kiss. Their passion for each other, always on a low simmer, burned with a hot intensity and he tangled his hands in her wind-whipped hair as their tongues tangled in her mouth. His love for her coursed through his body and he felt like his heart might burst from it.

"I love you, Catherine," he told her, reverently.

"I love you, too. So much," she replied and he could hear the intensity of her emotion in her voice.

She dove in for another kiss and he lost himself in the feel of her. And suddenly what he'd been rolling around in his head for months was abundantly clear.

He put enough space between them so he could gaze upon her beautiful face and said simply, "Marry me?"

Her eyes grew wide, like she couldn't believe what she'd heard and he mentally kicked himself. He'd once had the perfect proposal planned and this wasn't exactly it. He'd have to improvise. He dropped to one knee in the sand and took her hand. "Catherine Rollins, will you marry me?"

She gazed down at him for a moment and he forgot to breathe.

"Yes! Yes, yes," she finally exclaimed and he stood, capturing her mouth again. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her into his arms and carried her quickly to the house, kicking the door shut behind them.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **90 minutes later / 2010 hours**

"You haven't stopped smiling," Catherine said as she ran her fingers gently up and down Steve's arm.

"Well, neither have you," he responded.

Her smile grew wider, if that was even possible. "I can't help it. I'm so incredibly happy," she told him, then admitted, "I can't wait to be your wife."

"And I can't wait for you to be my wife," he admitted. "But I don't…" he trailed off, watching her closely. "I'm ready to get married tomorrow at City Hall, but I know that's probably not… what kind of wedding do you want?"

She considered her answer for a moment. "Honestly, I think I do want something small, for just those people that mean the most to us. And simple, but not like City-Hall simple." She bit her lip. "I always pictured you in your dress whites for the ceremony, but I understand if you'd rather wear something else."

He thought for a moment. "I think I'd be okay with that. The Navy is an important part of my past and it brought us together. I'm proud of my service, of both our service…" He smiled at her. "So, I'll wear the whites if you want."

She smiled happily and he dipped his head to kiss her, then pulled away with a mischievous look in his eyes. "As long as we can pull the ceremony together before the end of the year," he said, "because I don't want to wait longer than that."

"It's already October 23rd," she pointed out and he grinned at her and shrugged. She considered for a moment before flashing him a determined smile. "You're on sailor," she told him then shrieked as he suddenly rolled her underneath him and leaned in for another searing kiss.

When the need to breathe forced them to break apart Steve moved away from her just enough to gaze down at her in wonder.

"I love you so much," he told her quietly and kissed her gently.

"And I love you," she replied, her eyes moist, "more than I ever thought possible."

"I want to be able to find the words to tell you how I feel, but I don't know if I can," he admitted, softly.

"Then show me," she suggested, quietly.

And he did.

* * *

 _FINALLY, a proposal! What do you think the chances are that they'll really be able to get married before the end of the year?_

 _P.S._ _To the guest reviewers - I appreciate your feedback so much, thank you! But unfortunately I am unable to reply personally to your questions. But, keep reading and hopefully you'll get the answers you seek!_


	18. Chapter 18

_Thank you for your wonderful feedback on the last chapter! We're getting down to the finish line and it turns out that I made a small error in my posting schedule and will need to accelerate it slightly to meet my deadline. As a result, I am posting this chapter and the next simultaneously as they could also be one long chapter, so they flow well together. I would still love to know your thoughts on both chapters, though, if you don't mind... :)_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 18

 **Abandoned Construction Site  
** **Tuesday, 0616 hours**

"We're clear here. Thanks, Cath. We'll be on the way shortly – but why don't you head home and try to get some sleep." Steve said into his comm. They'd been up celebrating their engagement until well after midnight and had barely slept before the call came in from HPD that they were needed on a case.

"Roger that, nice job everyone," she replied and closed out her link.

"Lou, will you head back with Duke to coordinate the transfer to HPD?"

"Roger that," the big man acknowledged and they departed the scene.

Captain Wallace of SWAT approached, "Looks like we got'em all. You guys almost done here?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah, thanks Jim, we're heading out, too."

Within the span of about a minute dual HPD squad cars, Lou in his SUV, the SWAT van and the ambulance pulled away leaving Steve and Danny alone with HPD officer Ano Kahue who was headed back to his vehicle.

"Aloha Detective, Commander," he called out.

"Aloha Kahue. Mahalo," Steve replied as they approached the Camaro. He was just starting to strip out of his vest when Danny shouted "Gun!"

Steve froze and started a spin to identify the threat when he felt a white-hot pain in his thigh, the force of which knocked one leg out from under him. Danny saw him go down and not come back up.

Office Kahue was running toward them, his weapon drawn, and was able to hit the shooter. The man had been hiding out, thought they'd cleared the scene and it was safe to emerge. Steve had just about stumbled on the hiding place.

"He's down, Detective!" Ano yelled as he ran to confirm the shot.

Danny rounded the Camaro, "Steve, Steve!" he dropped to his knees next to his partner and saw a red stain quickly spreading over his partner's leg. "Shit, shit!"

He was on the radio in an instant. "This is Williams, Five-0. Officer down, officer down. McGarrett's hit. Dispatch get me that bus back here now!"

He pressed both hands to the wound, trying to keep as much of Steve's blood as possible inside the man.

Officer Kahue ran over. "Shooter's dead. What can I do?"

"Where's that bus, damn it? I need…" Danny trailed off as the ambulance pulled in, running lights and sirens. The paramedics hopped out with their gear and ran to his side.

One of the medics, who Danny recognized as James Milioni knelt next to him. "Detective, I need to see, you need to let me see."

Danny shook his head. "There's too much blood."

The other paramedic, Kyla Andrews, was at Steve's head and verified, "Got a pulse."

Milioni asked her, "Why's he out? Is he hit anywhere else?"

"Not that I see," she replied.

"I've gotta get a clamp on that bleeder," her partner instructed. "We need to roll him."

They packed the hole in his leg and stabilized Steve's neck before rolling him as gently as possible to check for secondary wounds, but did not see any.

As they were rolling him back Milioni noticed blood on the side of Steve's head, just above his ear. "Did he hit his head?" he asked Danny. When the blonde man didn't respond he called out, louder. "Detective Williams? Is it possible he hit his head when he fell?"

Danny looked up. "Yeah, maybe."

We gotta roll," they told Danny as they loaded Steve on the backboard and into the ambulance.

"Detective, you riding?"

"Yeah," he answered then turned to the HPD officer. "Ano, radio it in. Will you get someone to pick up the Camaro?" He turned his attention to Paramedic Andrews, "We going to Tripler?" He asked her.

"Yeah," she replied.

"I'll get it taken care of, Detective," Kahue acknowledged.

Danny climbed in the back of the ambulance and sat next to his motionless partner. "Why the hell is he still out?" he asked Milioni.

"I don't know sir, there could be any number of possibilities. His vitals aren't good, but they're holding for now so let's not jump to conclusions." the other man told him. "You know he's stubborn as they come."

"Damn it, Steve," Danny told his partner. "You'd better not die on me."

* * *

As they pulled up to the Emergency Department at Tripler the ambulance was met by a group of doctors and nurses who helped unload Steve and then pushed the gurney inside as they listened intently to Paramedic Milioni run through his vitals.

Danny tried to follow but was held back by a nurse who was familiar with Five-0 and its members. "Detective Williams? Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

She showed him to a small room, where he could wash the blood off his hands. He looked down, checking his clothes and seeing a spot on one knee that was starting to dry. It wasn't obvious with his dark pants so he decided not to worry about it. There had been so much blood on the ground, he briefly wondered why he didn't have more of it on him.

He emerged from the room and found the nurse waiting.

She looked him over. "That's better," she said. "Would you like some clothes to change into?"

"Uh, no," he told her." I'm okay. Thank you though."

She nodded. "Will you be waiting for the commander?" He nodded. "Okay, you know where the waiting room is, right? Someone will come get you as soon as we know something," she said, kindly.

"Yeah, thank you."

He turned and walked back toward the waiting room, but found himself continuing until he was outside. He found a dark corner and just stood motionless for several moments, stunned by what had happened.

He sighed and took his phone out and stared at it, dreading the calls he needed to make. It was several seconds before he mustered the energy to dial.

" _Hey Danny, what's up?_ " Catherine sounded puzzled.

"Cath… Uh, listen, Steve's been shot." He bowed his head.

" _Oh, God!_ " she exclaimed, but then asked, " _How bad is it?_ "

"It's not… good. We're at Tripler and I think, uh, I think you need to get down here."

" _He's alive? Danny, please tell me he's alive,_ " she begged.

"Yes, he was when I last saw him. They took him into the ER and I haven't gotten an update yet."

 _"Okay. I'm on my way. Call me if anything changes,"_ she all but ordered.

"Yeah. Just… get here," he said, then added, " _Safely._ "

He knew she was already on her way out of the house as he heard the telltale sounds of the alarm panel beeping and then the door closing.

" _Yeah, see you soon_ ," she answered before disconnecting the call.

Danny sat down heavily on a bench that was probably situated there for that very purpose. There had been so much blood. He was flashing back to the last time Steve had been shot, where he'd very literally almost died. But the man had held on, and if he could survive that…

He sighed, thinking about the other people he needed to notify. He called Lou with the news and, after receiving assurances Catherine was on her way to the hospital the big man told Danny he would be on his way as soon as he finished processing the paperwork on the suspects they'd brought in to HPD. He promised to also reach out to their newer teammates and Danny agreed to keep him apprised of any updates.

Since it was late morning on the mainland he also sent texts to Chin, Kono and Steve's sister Mary, letting them know what had happened and promising to keep them in the loop.

Having nothing left to do but wait, he headed for the designated area, wanting to be easily locatable, but found he couldn't sit. Images kept flashing through his mind; memories of a plane and a puddle of red on the floor as Steve bled out next to him. He reminded himself Steve had survived, he had not died on that undercover operation.

He saw Catherine rush in. She appeared outwardly calm, but he knew her well enough to see she was barely keeping it together. She spotted him and hurried over.

"Danny, how is he?"

"I don't know," he replied, honestly. "They took him up to surgery but I haven't had an update. So that must mean they're still working on him, right?" _And if they're still working on him he's still alive._

"Right, right," she nodded,

He wrapped his arms around her and held on for a moment, wanting to both give and receive the comfort they both desperately needed.

"Hey, he's not gonna give up without a fight, we both know that," he told her.

"I know. You're right," she said with a tremble in her voice. When they broke apart Catherine wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. "What the hell happened? I thought the scene was clear."

"We thought it was, too, but we must have missed one. Guy must have had a hidey hole, probably thought we'd gone…" he trailed off.

Catherine shook her head. "He promised me he'd be careful," she said, quietly, almost like she was talking to herself, "that he wouldn't take any unnecessary risks." She looked at Danny. "He _promised_ me."

Danny shook his head. "It wasn't his fault," he told her. "He _has_ been careful, Catherine. He has." Danny paused for a moment and looked her right in the eyes. "You know I would never hesitate to call Steve out on his reckless behavior, but he wasn't this time. He followed all the procedures, waited for back up, it went down without a hitch. Intel said six, we got six." He put his hands out, palms up. "We thought we had them all, and we double checked. We were the last ones on scene, ready to head out. He was even still wearing his vest. Not that it mattered, the asshole shot him from below," he muttered angrily. "It was just a once-in-a-lifetime shot…" he trailed off.

"He was only hit once?"

"I only heard one shot, but he, uh, he lost consciousness and I don't…" he closed his eyes.

"Danny? You okay?"

"There was just so much blood, _his_ blood, everywhere. It must have hit an artery, or… I don't know… If we hadn't been able to get him here so fast…" he said, and gestured helplessly.

"Danny, come here. Sit down," Catherine tugged him toward a row of chairs. "It's okay. We haven't heard anything yet, so that's good news, right?" she asked, practically begging him to agree with her. But he didn't answer and she looked up and noticed him staring at his hands. She realized how much he was struggling too and that they would need to lean on each other to get through this.

"Hey, look at me," she waited for him to comply. "We can't assume the worst."

"Right, you're right," he told her. "I guess I just keep seeing…" he trailed off then shook his head.

"What, Danny?" she asked, genuinely concerned. "You can tell me."

"It's nothing," he told her. "Lou will be here as soon as he can, but it may be a few hours."

* * *

An hour later they were still seated, side by side, waiting for an update. They'd talked for a while, tried to keep up some semblance of conversation, but eventually lapsed into silence, both lost in their thoughts.

Danny stood, suddenly. "I'm gonna go take a walk, maybe call and talk to the kids before they go to school. You'll be okay by yourself for a little while?"

"Yeah, of course." She noticed for the first time that Danny was still wearing his tac vest. "Hey, why don't you put your gear in my car?" She fished out her keys and held them out to him.

"Yeah, good idea," he said, "Thanks."

He took the keys and departed. Catherine slouched back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling, barely noticing the stained tiles as she implored whatever higher power might be listening for Steve to pull through.

* * *

 _A/N: Don't hate me. I'm not leaving you with a cliffhanger because the next chapter's already being posted. :)_


	19. Chapter 19

_Unfortunately there are still some bumps, potholes and sinkholes that will need to be overcome. But I have faith in them, don't you?_

 _Here's the next chapter - hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 19

 **Tripler Army Medical Center, Surgical Waiting Room  
** **1013 hours**

Catherine sat, alone. She was uncomfortable, she was exhausted and she was terrified. Steve had proposed to her barely sixteen hours ago and she had planned to spend the majority of her day starting to plan their wedding. And now… she sighed and wiped the wetness from her eyes. Now, the future meant nothing to her if she couldn't share it with Steve.

Danny had been waiting with her most of the last few hours, but he had wanted to get some fresh air, help clear his head. So, he'd left her with implicit instructions to call her the moment she knew anything and had gone to spend a few minutes outside.

"Detective Daniel Williams?"

Catherine looked over at the man clad in navy blue scrubs who was looking around expectantly.

She rose and hurried over to him. "Detective Williams just stepped out for a few minutes. But I'm Lieutenant Catherine Rollins, Commander McGarrett's fiancée, you can update me on his condition."

He nodded, "I'm Major Michael Ross," he told her distractedly as he consulted the chart he held. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I don't seem to have you listed here."

"What? No, there must be some mistake."

"That may be the case, but I only have Detective Daniel Williams listed. Do you know when he will be back?"

Catherine knew the military rules regarding notification of family members and an engagement didn't supersede the listed next of kin, so she had no chance of swaying the doctor's position. "Um… Yeah, he's just outside. I can call him right now."

"That would be helpful," Major Ross replied.

Catherine retrieved her phone. "Can you just…" she asked, almost pleading. "Please. Is he alive?"

"I'm sorry Lieutenant, I'm only authorized to speak with Detective Williams."

With shaking hands Catherine dialed and waited for Danny to pick up.

" _Catherine, is there an update?_ "

"Yeah the doctor's here-"

" _How is he?_ "

"I don't know," she told him, desperation in her voice. "Danny, they won't tell me."

" _What?_ "

"He said you're the only one listed. I need you to come back in."

" _I'll be right there_ ," he told her and disconnected the call.

"He's on his way, he was just outside." Catherine told the doctor.

He nodded. "When he gets back have him check in at the desk," he said, "and they'll let me know."

Catherine was frantic, fearing bad news and not wanting to wait longer than necessary to get the update.

"Sir, can you just wait here? Please, Major? It'll just be a minute, I'm sure."

Major Ross evaluated the woman standing in front of him and nodded.

Danny arrived two minutes later and made his way over to them.

"I'm Daniel Williams."

"Major Michael Ross," the doctor replied, shaking Danny's hand.

"Why don't you come this way so I can update you on Commander McGarrett's condition?"

Danny nodded and turned to Catherine. "Cath," he said and held out his arm indicating she should precede him.

The doctor hesitated, "I'm sorry Detective, I only have you listed as next of kin."

"Danny, it's fine," Catherine told him, just desperate to know if Steve was alive. "It's faster if you just go now. I'll wait here.

"No, you need to hear it, too," he insisted and turned to the doctor. "Listen, I'm just going to tell her everything you tell me."

Major Ross relented. "Okay, come with me please."

He led them to a small consultation cubicle containing a round table and four chairs.

"Commander McGarrett is out of surgery. He has been moved to the Post-Anesthesia unit and is doing well," the doctor told them, giving them a moment to digest the information.

"The Commander sustained a bullet wound to the left upper thigh and a mild concussion from an impact to the head likely from a fall. Did he go down immediately when he was hit?" he asked, directing his question to Danny who nodded in the affirmative, "Thought so. Unfortunately, the bullet nicked his femoral artery, but he was lucky in that it may have also partially cauterized the wound as it passed through. So, although the loss of blood volume was severe it was not fatal.

We performed surgery and were able to successfully repair the vessel and have transfused to replenish his blood volume. He may need another transfusion at some point so we'll keep an eye on his levels. We are currently giving him fluids and IV antibiotics to combat the risk of infection.

We'll monitor his concussion, but other than a headache and possibly some nausea and confusion I don't expect it will give him any trouble. He will have to take it easy for at least a week to be sure the repair holds and then maybe a bit longer if required for the concussion, but after the transfusions are complete and he's infection free for 48 straight hours he can probably be released to home care if someone stays with him," he paused looking between them and Catherine nodded. "Barring any complications, I expect him to make a full recovery." He paused, watching carefully to confirm they had understood what he told them. "Do you have any questions?"

Catherine cleared her throat. "He had a liver transplant last year and also began having symptoms of radiation poisoning about five months ago, from exposure earlier this year. Do you expect any issues with either of those?"

Major Ross nodded, "I do have both of those listed in his medical records, so we will include the appropriate medications in his daily regimen and monitor for any problems. But no, I don't expect there to be any issues."

She exhaled, clearly relieved. "Thank you, Major. Can we see him?"

"He'll be moved to a private room once he's awake and responsive. Would one you like to wait with him while he comes out of the anesthesia?"

Catherine started to speak but then looked over at Danny. He smiled at her, "You go, I'll see him after he wakes up."

Catherine nodded and squeezed his hand. "Thanks, Danny."

They all stood and Major Ross handed them off to a nurse, who introduced herself as Captain Carol Bettinger and told them she'd show them where they could wait.

After getting Danny situated in the waiting area and telling him he could come back for a few minutes once Steve was awake, she escorted Catherine back to the ward. Steve was unconscious and connected to an IV, pulse monitor and blood pressure cuff, but she could see his shallow breathing and hear the beep of the monitors.

"Would you like to sit?" the nurse offered, kindly.

Catherine nodded and sank down in the chair by the bed, grasping Steve's left hand and placing a kiss on the back of it.

"He may be a little out of it when he first starts to come around, but that's to be expected. I'm right over there," she said, indicating the centrally-located station, "if you need anything."

"Thank you," Catherine told her sincerely and settled in to wait.

She couldn't help but think about the issue in the waiting room earlier. They had been back together in a committed relationship for months so why hadn't Steve made her his next of kin? It occurred to her that maybe he was still holding back, just in case it didn't work out and that knowledge hurt her. But they were engaged now, would he have proposed marriage if he was feeling unsure? She shook her head and told herself it wasn't fair to make assumptions and jump to conclusions. She needed to talk to Steve first, when he was up to it. The best thing for her to do right now was sit quietly by his bedside waiting for him to wake up.

* * *

 **Tripler Army Medical Center, Post-Anesthesia Unit  
** **1057 hours**

Steve moaned and started to stir and Catherine leaned closer, squeezing his hand with one of hers and stroking his forehead with the other. "Steve, hey, can you hear me?"

"Cath?" he mumbled and blinked his eyes, trying to focus on her, "Wha' hapn?"

"You were shot and had to have surgery, but you're going to be okay."

"Sho? When?"

"Shhh…" she soothed. "Don't worry about that now. I'm here and you're going to be fine."

"'Kay. 'm tired."

The nurse, having been alerted by the monitors, entered the small room. "Commander, I'm Captain Bettinger. How do you feel? Any nausea?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, "Feel sick."

"Okay, I'm going to get you something for that. Just hang on for a couple minutes, okay?" She left the room.

"'Kay." His eyes closed, then opened again to half-mast. "Cath?"

"I'm here," she told him, "the nurse will be right back."

"'Kay."

Captain Bettinger returned and emptied a syringe into Steve's IV port.

"There we go, that should help with the nausea," she explained to both of them.

"Than' you'" he told her then closed his eyes for a few seconds. "Cath?"

"I'm here. You can go back to sleep, okay?"

"Stay," he mumbled.

"I'm not going anywhere," she told him quietly.

He squeezed the hand that held his and drifted back out.

Catherine looked up at the nurse, a question on her face.

"Don't worry," she said. "A lot of patients are pretty out of it when they first wake up. Add in the lower blood volume and concussion and it's to be expected. Most likely he'll sleep some more then be more coherent next times he wakes. Is this pretty typical for how he usually handles anesthesia?

"I don't, uh," Catherine stammered. "I'm sorry, I don't know. Most times… well, I haven't always been able to get to him right away."

Captain Bettinger smiled, "I understand."

Catherine felt a hand on her shoulder then and heard Danny's voice say, "Yes, this is pretty typical for him."

The nurse smiled and excused herself and Danny turned his attention to Catherine. "You okay, hon?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Sorry, he only came to for a few minutes, and he was pretty out of it, didn't really say much."

"Yeah, I bet he was. The next time he'll probably snap to like he's just been taking a combat nap."

Catherine looked at him in surprise, "Danny, you know what a combat nap is?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, he talks. I listen," he said, then added, "well, most of the time." He shook his head, as if in thought then turned his attention back to her. "You wanna take a break? Maybe stretch your legs? I'll stay with him."

Catherine didn't really want to leave Steve's side, but she felt like Danny deserved some time with his partner, too.

"Yeah," she told him. "I'm pretty hungry, never got a chance to eat before you called. Maybe I'll grab a quick bite and be back in a little while. You want anything?"

"Maybe an egg sandwich?" he said.

"You got it," she told him and excused herself.

* * *

Danny had settled into the hard, plastic chair to wait and had just finished sending a text to everyone else to update them on Steve's status when the man in question stirred and looked over at him, seemingly fully alert.

"Danny?" He looked around the small space. "Where's Cath?" he asked, his voice low and scratchy. He swallowed, trying for some relief and Danny held a cup of water with a straw so he could take a few sips. "Thanks," he told his partner. "She was here, I thought…" he trailed off, confused then realized, "Concussion?"

"Yeah, a mild one." Danny confirmed and Steve nodded, just barely, not wanting to jostle his head. "She was here," Danny reassured him, placing his hand on the other man's shoulder. "She just went to get something to eat."

"Cath didn't want to stay here until I woke up?" he asked, with a pout, and tried to shift positions, moaning when pain blossomed in his leg.

"Stay still," Danny ordered him, "wait for the nurse. You've got something holding your femoral artery together, let's try to keep it intact, shall we?"

Steve cocked his head. "Uh, yeah, let's do that," he agreed and tried to get comfortable while moving as little as possible. "Where did Cath go?"

"Just down to the cafeteria. I think she thought I should get some time with you, too."

"Oh." He smirked. "But she's so much better to wake up to."

"Nice." Danny told him, relieved he was alert enough to be joking.

Just then the nurse appeared to check on her patient.

"Hi, I'm Captain Bettinger," she said as she used two fingers and her watch to check his pulse. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Steven McGarrett, Lieutenant Commander, US Navy, retired."

"And do you know what day and date it is?"

"Tuesday, October 24, 2017."

"Excellent. And how are you feeling Commander? Do you have any pain or nausea?"

"Uh, yeah. The leg hurts, headache and…" he evaluated for a moment, "maybe some nausea, too."

"Okay, we can definitely get you some medication to help with both of those." She held out a pen light, "Sorry but this is going to be bright and may increase your headache, so try and look up for me, okay?" She flashed the light across both his eyes and seemed pleased with the result. "Why don't we see about elevating your head a little bit. Let me know if your headache gets worse," she instructed before adjusting the bed so Steve was sitting up more. "Any change in pain level?"

"No ma'am," he told her.

"Good. You need to allow your brain to rest," she said, shifting her gaze to Danny, "which means no strenuous activity and limiting thinking and mental concentration." The blonde nodded that he understood his job was to keep Steve calm and she continued. "Well, I'll be back with some medication for you but the call button is there if you need me. Someone will be along soon to move you to your room. If they arrive before I get back we'll send the meds right along, all right?"

"Yes, thank you," Steve replied.

Once the nurse had left Steve turned back to his partner. "So, what happened? It's little foggy," he said.

"What do you remember?" Danny asked him, watching his partner carefully for signs that his headache was worsening.

"We, uh… the scene was clear. I spoke to Wallace and…"

Danny nodded. "We missed one. Bottom feeder in his hidey hole must have thought we cleared out and decided to surface. Bullet caught you in the thigh and you hit your head when you fell. But they say you should make a full recovery."

Steve sighed. "Thanks, partner." He closed his eyes, fighting the slightly increased pain of his headache.

"Hey Steve?" Danny said, causing the man to open his eyes. "Why am I still your next of kin?"

"What? No, I changed it," he told him. "Catherine's the primary, but you're still listed as back-up."

Danny shook his head, "No, babe. Doc wouldn't talk to her, said it's just me. Made her wait for me to get there before he'd tell her anything."

"But I remember…" he said and Danny could see when recollection hit. "Shit. I filled out the paperwork but forgot to submit it. It's probably still in my desk. Danny, I need you to find Catherine. I need to talk to her about this."

"I don't think she'll be gone long," Danny reassured him, trying to keep him calm, "she should be right back."

"No, Danny, I need you find her for me," Steve insisted. "Please. It's… important."

Danny could clearly see Steve wouldn't relax until he spoke to his girlfriend. "Sure, babe, whatever you need. I'll just step out and call her."

"Thanks, Danny."

Catherine answered the phone on the first ring. "Danny? Is Steve okay?"

"Yeah, he's awake and asking for you."

"Will you tell him I'm on my way up?"

"Of course, see you in a few minutes."

When she arrived outside the unit Danny intercepted her. "He's doing well, throat's a little scratchy and they just gave him something for nausea but he didn't want anything for his leg or his headache. He's supposed to be resting his brain, not thinking or concentrating too much but you know how that goes. They're supposed to move him to a room soon."

She nodded and smiled, handing Danny his breakfast. "Thanks, Danny. I'm gonna go see him," she said and proceeded to Steve's cubicle.

* * *

Steve appeared to be resting so she called out to him softly.

"Hey, there's my fiancée." Steve said quietly as soon as he saw her. He was certainly more aware than the last time he'd been conscious, but still appeared drowsy.

"Sorry, they only let one of us in here at a time and I thought Danny…"

He reached out for her hand. "It's okay," he said and tugged her down. "Come sit."

She did as he asked and leaned forward, still grasping his hand.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "This is not any way to celebrate our engagement."

She blushed. "I thought we did pretty well last night. Although now I almost wish we'd gotten more than two hours of sleep."

"You would have rather been sleeping?" he said, feigning hurt.

"I said _almost_ ," she told him with a smile that faded as she noticed some discomfort on his face. "How do you feel?" she inquired gently.

"A little fuzzy. Sore. Leg's throbbing. Head hurts." he admitted, softly.

"Why won't you let them give you something for your pain?"

He shook his head just slightly. "Don't want it yet."

"What? Steve, why? You're obviously uncomfortable."

"Need to talk to you first."

"Talk about what?" she asked, confused.

"Danny told me what happened."

"Yeah, I guess there was a guy you missed in the sweep—"

"No," he interrupted. "While I was in surgery. Said they wouldn't talk to you."

Catherine's face fell, almost imperceptibly and just for a moment, but Steve saw it and knew his suspicion was right.

"No, it's okay, I shouldn't have assumed," she trailed off, not really looking at him.

"No. I wanted it to be you," he said, trying to shift and sinking back down with a groan.

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Steve, lay still. You _just_ had surgery. We can talk about this later—"

"No." He closed his eyes against the pain and took a few shallow breaths before opening them. His head was pounding, his energy level was fading and his eyes were getting heavy. "We need to talk now. It's 'posed to be you. I filled out paperwork months ago to make the change but forgot to file it."

He closed his eyes again to summon the strength to say what he needed to tell her. "It was right before that lead in Hutchinson-Oleo case. Worked like 48 hours. Locked everything up in my desk and," he sighed, "I guess it slipped my mind. Was an honest mistake." He reached out again for her hand and she placed it in his. He squeezed her fingers and held her gaze. "I never had any doubts about us. Not for a minute. It's 'posed to be you first and Danny's backup. That's what I've wanted since you came back."

"Okay, thank you for apologizing," she told him softly, "but it wasn't a big deal."

His eyes opened wider and he squeezed her hand again. "It is," he insisted. "Danny said they made you wait 'fore they would tell you…" he trailed off, thinking about what that would be like. "I can't even imagine…" he closed his eyes. "Go crazy if it were me."

"Steve, please. I don't want you to get so worked up over this. It wasn't that long, just a few minutes and it's over now and it won't matter anyway once we get married. Please, let them give you the pain meds so you can rest."

Frustrated, he opened his eyes, released her hand to support himself and managed to sit up just a bit. "Stop," he said, "Don't downplay it. I know it must've hurt and I regret that." He slouched back down, trying to get some relief from the pounding in his head. He knew he needed to sleep but wouldn't be able to rest until he felt like she accepted his apology. "Is important to me that you believe me."

He was losing his battle to stay awake but fought to tell her one more thing. "Since we met you've been the most important person in my life. I've always trusted you-," he coughed and groaned at the pain in his head. Catherine held a straw to his lips for some water and he took three small sips before continuing quietly. "trusted you to make decisions for me when I can't. I messed up and I'm sorry."

She smiled, "Okay. Thank you." She rose enough to lean over and give him a gentle kiss. "Now you-"

She was interrupted when the nurse arrived. "How you doing, Commander? Ready for some pain medication now?"

"Yes, he is," Catherine said, daring Steve to contradict.

"Yes," he admitted quietly. The nurse fussed over the IV, pushing the medication and evaluating the drip before checking the monitors.

"How's the nausea? Any better?"

"Eh," He responded. "Feel okay. Tired. Sore. Headache," he said quietly.

"That's why we keep pain medication is stock here," she told him with a smile. "You should feel some relief soon. Transport is on their way up to take you to your room."

Steve nodded and closed his eyes.

The nurse turned to address Catherine. "Lieutenant, why don't we let him get some rest?"

"No," Steve said, opening his eyes just enough to see her and reaching out his hand. "Stay. Please."

Catherine stepped forward to grasp the offered hand and turned to the nurse. "Is that okay? Can I stay with him?"

She nodded and smiled, "As long as he gets a chance to rest."

"I'll make sure of it," Catherine told her.

"I'll just be over at the station if you need anything. They should be here in a few minutes to take him to his room. You can go along with him if you'd like."

Catherine nodded. "I'd like to do that, thank you."

"I'll let Detective Williams know."

"Thank you, Captain," Catherine said genuinely.

"My pleasure, Lieutenant," she responded and left the cubicle.

Catherine bent to place a gentle kiss on Steve's forehead and then settled in the chair to wait.

* * *

 _A/N: Okay, a couple of important disclaimers. I'm not a doctor, so the medical stuff could very likely be completely inconceivable. Also, I really don't know if the doctor's refusal to speak to Catherine is realistic or whether next of kin is something Steve could have easily taken care of online rather than having to fill out paperwork. But, this is what fit for the story and since it is a work of fiction please cut me some slack. :)_


	20. Chapter 20

_Thank you for your wonderful feedback on the last two chapters! Surprise... I'm posting another chapter now because I made a slight miscalculation on my posting schedule and since this is basically a continuation of the last chapter posting it today seems like the best option to get back on track._

 _I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 20

 **Tripler Army Medical Center, Patient Room  
** **Same day / Tuesday, 1213 hours**

Aided by the pain meds Steve had managed to sleep through the ride from the post-anesthesia unit to his room, waking just long enough to assist the transfer by scooting over from the gurney to the bed. Catherine moved one of the chairs close enough to Steve's bed that she could comfortably reach him to hold his hand and settled in to wait.

A short time later Danny knocked gently on the open door and poked his head in.

Catherine rose and accompanied him out to the hall, just outside the door so she'd know if Steve woke.

"How's he doing?" Danny asked quietly.

"He's doing okay," Catherine told him. "He's been sleeping since they gave the pain meds which is good. He's too stubborn to take them sometimes but I hate it when he's hurting."

"Yeah, I hear that." Danny agreed. "You know, uh, usually I'm the one who has to sit around and wait for him to wake up-"

"Danny, I'm sorry," Catherine said in a rush. "If you want-"

He held up a hand. "No, it's okay. I was going to say I'm glad you're here this time. He'd rather have you than me sitting by his bed."

"You want to come sit with him?" Catherine offered. "There's another chair."

"Maybe later," Danny told her. "I know you've got this so I think I'm gonna head out for a bit. One of the guys from HPD brought my car and it's downstairs in the lot. I already swapped my stuff over so here are your keys," he said, handing them to her, "and thank you for the loan."

She smiled, "You're welcome, Danny. Any time."

"I figured you'd want to stay with him so brought the go bag up from your car," he told her, motioning to it on the floor, "I'll be back later, so let me know if you me to bring you anything, okay?"

"I will, Danny. Thank you so much for everything," she pulled him in for a hug. "I don't know what I would have done without you here."

"You would have been fine," Danny told her, "of that I have no doubt." He smiled. "But you're welcome. I'd say 'anytime' but I'd rather we not find ourselves in a situation like any time soon, so let's not jinx it, huh?"

Catherine chuckled lightly and nodded, "Okay."

"Steve told me he screwed the pooch and forgot to send in the paperwork to make you his next of kin so I asked the nice nurse how to get that fixed and she said he can fill out the paperwork here, once he's lucid and they're sure he's in full control of his faculties." He waved his hand. "I told them they shouldn't get their hopes up but I don't think they found that funny."

Catherine smiled, appreciating her friend's sense of humor but knowing full well the military personnel at the hospital wouldn't.

"Anyway, so I arranged for them to bring him the paperwork to sign and they can have someone witness it, blah, blah, blah."

Catherine was touched and felt incredibly guilty that she and Steve had not yet told him about their engagement. "Danny, that's… You didn't have to do that."

Danny shrugged. "You didn't see him when he realized he forgot to submit those forms. I figured helping make sure that gets taken care of is the least I could do to help the poor guy out, right? He talked to you – got everything straightened out?"

"Yeah, we talked about it."

"You know he was really broken up – and I believe him one hundred percent that it was just a mistake."

"I do, too, Danny. But thank you for understanding."

"What? That you get to deal with wrangling him when he wants to leave AMA or go back to work before he's cleared? I should be thanking you." He paused for a moment. "You call me if you need anything at all."

Catherine smiled and nodded. "Thanks again, Danny."

"You got it." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a warm hug before stepping back. "I'll come by tonight, okay? Try to get some sleep., you look exhausted."

"Gee thanks," she deadpanned.

She watched him go for a moment before picking up her bag and heading back into Steve's room to resume her place next to his bed.

* * *

 **Tripler Army Medical Center  
** **1454 hours**

Catherine was seated at Steve's bedside when he finally stirred so she stood and stroked his forehead with one hand and was rewarded with an immediate smile when he opened his eyes and gazed at her.

"Hi," she told him quietly with a smile, "Welcome back."

He opened his mouth to reply but closed it and swallowed.

"Wait, wait," she told him and filled a cup from the pitcher on the table, placing a straw in it. "Here," she said as she held the straw steady for him to drink.

"Thanks," he told her, his voice raspy.

"You want some more?" she asked. He nodded so she filled the cup again but he raised his hand to take it.

"Stop, let me help you," she admonished, holding the straw to his lips.

He drank more and she placed the cup on the table when he was finished.

He reached up and tugged her down to give her a gentle kiss. "Time is it?" he asked once she had straightened up.

She looked at her watch. "Almost 1500 hours." She told him.

He looked at her as closely as he could in the room's dim light. "You look tired," he said. "You get any sleep?"

"Not really," she admitted.

He gestured to the bed. "Climb in here."

"Oh Steve, I don't think-"

"Please? I want you close to me."

"Okay," she acquiesced. He shifted over gingerly to make room for her on his right and she climbed up, appreciating that his IV was on the left side, same as his injury. She settled next to him and rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his right arm around her and leaned his head against hers. She fell asleep within minutes, but even though he closed his eyes and rested, having already slept for several hours he remained awake and just enjoyed the comfort of having her next to him.

A short while later the door opened and a nurse entered, pushing a cart. She noticed Catherine in the bed with Steve and frowned but then noticed the patient was awake.

"Commander," she said quietly, "I'm Corporal Katie Stengel. How are you feeling?"

"I feel okay. Better," he told her keeping his voice low, not wanting to wake Catherine.

"Good. I need to turn on this light and it may seem bright to you so if you'd like to close your eyes please go ahead."

She proceeded to check his IV site and change out the bags. "You know," she chastised softly. "Visitors should not be occupying patient beds,"

"She's my fiancée," he said, liking the way it sounded rolling off his tongue.

"Oh? I wasn't aware of that."

"I know. It was only last night that I proposed and um… we hadn't really talked about telling people. You're actually the first person to find out." He looked up for a moment.

"Oh! Well, congratulations."

"Thank you," Steve said sincerely. "And, actually, if you wouldn't mind keeping the news to yourself, I should talk to her first."

"Of course," Corporal Stengel assured him.

"About this," he said, gesturing to Catherine nestled into his side. "It's my fault," he told her, continuing to keep his voice low. "When I woke up I asked her to get up here with me. She looked exhausted and I wanted her to get some rest."

Corporal Stengel looked at him for a moment then relented. "It's fine for now, but she'll need to move before rounds start at 1900 hours."

"Of course," Steve agreed. "Thank you."

She finished her check and examined the dressing on his leg before rearranging the blankets to cover him again.

"Are you currently having any nausea or pain?" she asked.

"No nausea. I have a bit of a headache but no real pain." He told her.

"Good. You should try to eat something. There's a menu on your tray. Dial 3754 on the phone. They have a list of what's currently approved for you and can assist you with ordering some dinner. If you keep everything down you should be back on a regular diet for breakfast tomorrow. Do you need anything before I go?" she asked.

"Is my watch in the patient belongings bag? Would you mind getting it for me?"

She smiled, appreciating he was heeding the time limit she'd given him. "Not at all," she told him before fetching the bag from the closet and handing the timepiece to him.

"Thank you," he told her.

"Anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you, Corporal. I think I'm good."

"Remember, 1900 hours," she said before turning out the light, pushing her cart to the door and exiting the room.

* * *

Steve's watch beeped at 1830 hours and he woke the sleeping beauty next to him. He ordered a dinner tray while she used the bathroom and washed up. The doctors arrived to round on him at 1918 hours. They were happy with Steve's vitals but told him he wouldn't be cleared to get out of bed until it had been at least 24 hours since the surgical repair of his artery. So, he was immensely frustrated that he couldn't get up and move around. But, he was distracted from it when Catherine sat on the bed next to him and took his hand.

"I know we haven't talked about it, but when do you want to start telling people?" she asked him. "I felt like I was lying to Danny earlier, not telling him, but I thought we should talk about it first."

"Uh," Steve looked sheepish, "Actually, I told Corporal Stengel when she was in here earlier. But I asked her not to repeat it because I hadn't talked to you."

Catherine smiled. "I told the doctor when he came to update us. So, I guess we're even."

He reciprocated her smile. "I guess so," he agreed. "I really liked saying it out loud, but I also kind of like the idea of keeping it ourselves for a little while, especially with all this," he gestured to encompass his general condition. "Is that okay with you?"

"Absolutely," she told him. "I think we can manage to keep it from Danny for a few days. Although, knowing him, there's a chance he'll figure it out."

"True. But we both know how to keep a secret, so I have faith in us."

She squeezed his hand. "So do I."

"I uh, I owe you a ring."

She smiled. "Not unless you want to give me one. Then I'll happily accept it."

"I do. I still have the one I bought two years ago and I'd really like you to wear it. Unless you want something new."

She shook her head and bit her lip. "If you picked it out I'm sure it's perfect. I will be honored to wear it," she told him softly.

He tugged her hand. "Come here." She leaned forward to press her lips to his and he groaned when she pulled away. "I hate being out of commission."

"I know you do. But your recovery shouldn't be too bad. It could've been a lot worse," She told him with a tilt of her head.

He sighed. "I know. But I had this whole proposal planned out and…"

"Would you rather have done it the way you planned?" she asked hesitantly.

"No, not at all." he told her immediately. "I waited too long last time because I was trying so hard to make it perfect and _that's_ what I regret. Last night on the beach may not have been what I planned, but it ended up being perfect. It just hit me… sort of like everything else just faded into the background and I knew exactly what I wanted. So, I asked, and you said yes, and made me so incredibly happy." Catherine's eyes were shining as she watched him. "But I kind of want to do the traditional thing with the ring and get down on one knee again…" he grimaced, "but I don't think I'm going to be able to do that for a little bit."

She smiled, "I don't mind waiting." She bit her lip. "But does that mean you don't want to start planning like we talked about last night?"

"Uh, would you be upset if I told you I don't really care that much about the ceremony as long as I end up as your husband?"

"How can I be when you put it that way?" she said, smiling. "Will you try to be involved, at least a little?"

"I just want you to be happy. So, if that's what you want I'll do my best," he agreed.

She leaned forward to kiss him again. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he told her with a smile.

"Now, be honest with me," she said. "Are you feeling okay? Is your headache getting worse?"

He looked at her, surprised. "I guess sometimes I still forget how well you know me," he said softly.

She pushed the call button. "Don't worry, we have the rest of our lives for me to keep reminding you," she told him with a soft smile.

* * *

 _A/N: It seems Steve's on the mend - hopefully Catherine will be able to take him home soon. :)_


	21. Chapter 21

_As always, you are all amazing and I'm in awe that there have been over 200 reviews on this story (and that they're all positive)! I cannot thank you all enough for your support for this story. It has certainly helped make all the months I spent working on it absolutely worth it!_

 _I hope you enjoyed last night's bonus chapter. We are going to be wrapping up the story soon, but it's not over yet - here's the next chapter..._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 21

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Thursday, 1254 hours**

Catherine pulled the truck up to the house and rolled to a stop. She knew Steve was happy to be going home. He'd gone a little stir crazy in his hospital bed until they'd finally let him get up and around and his mood had improved even more when they disconnected him from all the tubes and wires. The doctors had been happy with his progress and released him to Catherine's care with orders to take it easy for at least the next week and maybe longer depending on the results of the follow-up appointment. Danny had already handled the swapping out of Catherine's car for Steve's truck because he figured getting in and out of the Corvette would have been a Herculean feat due for Steve due to the thigh injury. He also lent Steve his cane so he could keep his weight off the injured leg or, as Danny put it, 'hobble around in style'.

Catherine exited the truck and walked around to the passenger side, holding out the cane for Steve.

"No thanks, I've got it," he told her.

"Steve," she looked at him. "I cannot carry you into the house but I need you to get there without further injury because I have no intention of taking you back to the hospital. So please use the cane. For me?"

He looked at her for a moment then took it without comment and hobbled toward the house while she followed behind with their bags.

"Would you like to be upstairs or downstairs?" she asked him as he made his way slowly up the steps on the front porch.

"I'm going to sit on the beach," he told her.

"I don't think walking on the sand is a good idea right now. You're supposed to be taking it easy and you can see the ocean from the lanai or the lawn."

"I know my limits, Catherine."

She placed her hand on his shoulder and he stopped but didn't turn.

"Steve," she said quietly from behind him. "I know you know your limits. But you _just_ got out of the hospital and I'd like to take care of you, as much as you'll let me. So, will you please just let me fuss. At least for a little while?

He turned and used one arm to pull her to him, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not very good at being sidelined. I'll sit on the lanai, okay?"

"Thank you," she told him and stretched to kiss him gently. "I'll be right out with some water. You need anything else?"

"No, water would be good. Thank you."

She nodded and he turned and headed for the back door.

A few minutes later she joined him, put a bottle of water on the table and helped him arrange his leg so it was elevated slightly as directed in his discharge orders.

"Is that okay?" she asked when she straightened up.

"Yeah, it's fine," he replied, then admitted sheepishly, "It feels better, actually. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry if I'm mother-henning you."

He smiled at her. "It's okay. I was actually just sitting here thinking and realized if it were you who had just been released from the hospital I wouldn't be handling it nearly as well as you are."

Catherine held his gaze for several seconds. "You scared me. I was terrified I was going to lose you," she said quietly. "When Danny called and told me you'd been shot, that it looked bad and I needed to get there… I was panicked, thinking the worst. The drive to the hospital and the waiting… You can't know—"

He placed his hand over hers. "I do know. Do you remember the night Billy died? The hospital called me, told me the two of you had been involved in a shooting and it was like my whole world dropped out from around me. My head started swimming, I could barely hear or focus on what they were telling me, the only thing that mattered to me in that moment was getting to where you were and making sure you were okay. And even when they told me you would be I didn't fully believe it until you regained consciousness and I saw it for myself."

She looked at him for a moment then nodded. "Yeah. When Major Ross came in with news and he wouldn't talk to me, to even tell me if you were-" she shook her head, not willing to say it aloud, "it took everything I had to hold it together."

Steve dropped his head for a moment. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Hey," she said, making sure she had his full attention. "It's not about that, you don't have to apologize anymore. I guess I just wanted to be honest about how I felt and why it's important to me that you follow doctor's orders. Because losing you is not an option for me," she said with a tremble in her voice. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and she bit her lip.

He tried to reach her to comfort her but with his leg propped up he had very little freedom of movement so the best he could do was grasp her hand and squeeze it. They were both quiet for a few moments while Catherine got a handle on her emotions.

"You know," she told him quietly, "it's not easy knowing every time you go to work there's a chance you might not come home."

"I know," he responded, sincerely. "Believe me, Cath, I am very well acquainted with that feeling."

"We're kind of a mess, aren't we?" she said with a small smile.

"I guess so," he agreed, mirroring her smile. "But maybe that's proof we're perfect for each other."

Her smile widened and she leaned over to kiss him gently. "Maybe it is," she agreed.

"And, just to set the record straight. I'd rather have you mother-henning me than Danny."

"Thank you. But I kind of like knowing he's here to take care of you if I can't be."

"Don't get me wrong," Steve said, genuinely. "I love the guy, but sometimes…"

"Yeah… I know." She chewed on her lip for a moment. "I think maybe you should talk to him."

He cocked his head. "What about? The engagement?"

"Well, yes, but no. When he was telling me about what happened at the scene, he said you lost consciousness and commented about all the blood and I just… got a feeling, I guess? I don't know – it was like he was thinking about something else." She shook her head. "Or maybe I'm just crazy and it was nothing, I don't know."

"No, if it stuck with you then it was probably something." Steve was thoughtful for a moment then said somberly, "The last time I was shot was the transplant." He sighed. "I was unconscious and lost a lot of blood on that plane. It's probably nothing, but I'll talk to him."

"Good," Catherine agreed. "How about I go get you more water and make us some lunch?"

"That would be great," he told her. "Thank you."

She headed in the house and he sat quietly, enjoying being outdoors again after spending more than 48 hours in a hospital bed. He thought about Catherine, how lucky he was to have her in his life and how much he regretted what he'd just put her through, even though he recognized it was completely out of his control. He regretted forgetting to file the papers to make her his next of kin and realized, with a smile, that it wouldn't matter for long because soon she would be his wife.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Three Days Later / Sunday, 1513 hours**

Doctor's orders placed Steve on forced home convalescence for the first week after he returned home, with more and more low-key activities permitted as the week went on and since Catherine didn't technically work for Five-0 she stayed home with him. For the most part, other than his frustration at being sidelined, he enjoyed being home spending 24 hours a day with her.

Sunday afternoon Danny and Charlie had stopped by and ended up staying for lunch so they grilled some chicken and hot dogs and found some leftover pasta salad to serve alongside. Following lunch, they'd played a rousing game of Go Fish! and then settled into the board game Sorry!. Because of Steve and Catherine's competitive natures they mostly tried to one-up each other and didn't mind when Charlie ended up winning.

Steve had just sent one of Catherine's pawns back to 'home' and she was laughing and threatening retribution when her cell rang. As she fished it out of her pocket and checked the screen her mood immediately fell and she excused herself to the kitchen.

Steve, who was seated on the sofa, reached for the cane and said "Danny, help me up." As he moved toward the kitchen he heard Danny say, "Hey, Charlie. Uncle Steve and Aunt Catherine need to take a little break but we'll finish our game in a little bit. How about if we see if there's a movie you'd like to watch? I'm pretty sure I know where Uncle Steve keeps a few."

He entered the kitchen as Catherine seemed to have just disconnected her call.

"Cath?"

She looked up at him, her eyes wet. "I'm sorry. They're sending a car in forty minutes. I tried to delay, to tell them I wasn't available right now but…" She swiped at her eyes in frustration. "I don't want to leave. And even if I wanted to, you were shot less than a week ago and you have a follow up with Major Ross tomorrow. I need to be here."

Steve was less than thrilled she'd been called up again, but seeing her so upset, his instinct was to be comforting rather than confrontational.

He moved to her and pulled her into a one-armed embrace. "I can manage here and I'm sure Danny will drive—"

He was interrupted by a quick knock on the door jamb as Danny stuck his head in. "Everything okay in here?"

Steve turned to look over his shoulder. "Yeah, we'll be right out."

He turned his attention back to Catherine. "I hate that you have to go, but I need you to keep your mind on the mission. I will be fine here and I know you'll get back as soon as you can.

She nodded into his chest. "Yeah, I know. I just… I was hoping…" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"You can't think that way," Steve told her softly. "Promise me. You need to have your head in the game because I can manage short-term but I need you in my life for as long as possible, so you have to come home to me in one piece."

Catherine pulled back enough to look at him. "I know. You're right." She smiled sadly. "I'll do my best, I promise."

"We should get you packed. I'll talk to Danny real quick and meet you upstairs."

"It's okay, I've got it. It will be easier for you if you stay down here."

"I'll be up in a minute," He said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

She gave him a quick peck on the lips before they left the kitchen.

"Hey Danny," Catherine said on her way toward the stairs, "I have to go to work so I need to go pack but I'll be back down to say goodbye okay?"

Danny nodded then looked to Steve who indicated with a sideways nod of his head they should talk in the kitchen. After ensuring Charlie was thoroughly engrossed in _Despicable Me 2_ Danny followed his partner.

"Catherine's leaving?" Danny asked without preamble.

"Yeah," Steve said quietly. "They're sending a car in about half an hour."

"Anything I can do?"

"Not now, thanks. I'm going to head up to help her and then maybe we can talk after?"

"Sure, babe, I'll watch Gru and the minions with Charlie."

It didn't occur to Steve to question that he knew exactly who 'Gru and the minions' were as he headed for the stairs. Danny took a seat next to his son and tried not to think too hard about what was happening with his two friends upstairs.

When Steve arrived in the bedroom Catherine had already changed her clothes and was adding a few last items to her bag.

"You need any help?" he asked her.

"No, I think I'm all set," she replied as she zipped the bag and then checked her watch.

"I'm sorry about this," she told him, quietly. "Not knowing when I'll be back makes it kind of hard to keep planning the wedding."

"You don't owe me any apologies, Cath. We'll get married when you get back."

She came around the bed and stood in front of him before gently taking the cane. "Hold on to me," she ordered softly and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders while hers encircled his waist. "I don't deserve you," she told him before slanting her mouth across his in a deep, meaningful kiss.

They both got caught up in the sensations coursing through them and forgot about Steve's injury until he put too much weight on the leg and hissed; Catherine pulled back abruptly. "Oh God, Steve. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he whispered, seeking out her lips again. "Totally worth it," he told her between kisses.

When they broke apart for air she commented, "Are you okay?"

He smirked at her. "You have to ask?"

She pecked his lips again and said, "Rest up, because when I get back I plan to make up for lost time."

He moaned. "We have a few minutes now, maybe-"

She put her finger to his lips. "I'd love that. But we have to watch your heart rate, remember?"

He groaned in response and she placed a few more gentle kisses on his lips to take away some of the sting.

She turned, retrieved the cane and handed it to Steve before moving to the foot of the bed and picking up her bag.

"After you, sailor," she told him with a smile.

She followed him as he descended the stairs slowly and Danny rose to meet them. Catherine put her bag down and moved into the room.

"So, do you, uh, know how long you'll be gone?" Danny asked.

"I'm not sure. But I hope not more than a couple weeks."

Danny nodded. "Well, take care of yourself out there," he told her before pulling her in for a farewell hug.

"Thanks, Danny," she said then whispered in his ear, "You'll look out for him?" and he nodded minutely in response.

They pulled apart and Catherine moved to the sofa, paused the movie and knelt to address Charlie. "Hey Charlie, I have to go to work and I'll be gone for a little while. Can I have a hug?"

Charlie was happy to comply and told her "Bye, Auntie Catherine."

"Bye, Charlie." She stood again and restarted the movie. She placed a hand on Danny's arm as she passed then turned to Steve. "Walk me out?" she asked him, picking up her bag.

"Bye, Cath," Danny said, "see you soon."

She nodded and replied, "Hopefully."

They walked out to the porch and Steve pulled the door shut behind him.

"Why don't you sit," she suggested, wanting him to get the weight off his leg, and then perched on his right knee, facing him. "Promise me you'll follow doctor's orders."

"Yeah, 'course," he replied easily.

She held his gaze. "I mean it, Steve," she said. "Please?"

He sighed, she knew him too well. "Yes, I will follow doctor's orders, as much as I can, all right? And Danny will be all over me if I don't."

"Okay. Good."

"Promise _me_ you won't worry about this while you're over there."

"I promise. As much as **_I_** can, all right?" she said, echoing Steve's words.

He nodded, "Okay."

The both heard a vehicle approaching and looked to confirm it was Catherine's ride. She stood and offered him a hand before kissing him and reaching down for her bag.

She cradled his cheek. "I love you," she whispered. "Aloha."

"I love you, too," he replied and kissed her again. "See you soon."

She nodded before turning and heading to the car. Steve watched as it pulled away before turning and sitting heavily in the chair.

He noticed a spider web under the small table and poked at it with the cane until the door opened and Danny came out, holding two bottles of water.

"Hey babe, you thirsty?"

"Yeah, thanks Danny."

Danny sat in the second chair and placed the waters on the table. They were both quiet for a moment before Danny broke the silence.

"Is it always like that?" he asked.

"Like what?"

"They call and she leaves a few minutes later."

"Well, it's usually more than a few minutes but, yeah, pretty much. We knew ahead of time on one of them."

Danny evaluated his friend. "Seems like you've got a pretty good handle on it," he said. "I don't think I could do that."

"Do what? Let her leave? It's not like I have a choice," Steve said bitterly.

"No, uh… I don't think I could deal with my girlfriend leaving all the time."

"Well, your situation's different, Danny. You've got kids. Although they're pretty resilient – they'd probably handle it fine."

"Yeah, maybe. But for me… I dunno."

"What other choice do I have, Danny? She's… everything. Not having her in my life at all just… well, that's not an option for me."

"You sound pretty sure about this."

"I am, Danny. I know it hasn't been easy but it won't be forever. She's working on wrapping this up, so hopefully within a year—"

"A year?" Danny exclaimed, surprised. "That long?"

Steve sighed, "I don't really know. I hope it won't be that long, but I'm trying to be realistic."

"Yeah. I get that," his partner told him. "Still. A year?"

"Yeah, but we're going to get married as soon as she gets back from this one," Steve said quietly.

"Buddy!" A huge smile practically split Danny's face. He reached out a hand to pat Steve's arm. "Congratulations! When did you propose?"

"Monday night," Steve told him, happily.

"You mean you got engaged a few hours before you got shot? It's a goddamn Greek tragedy," Danny commented with a roll of his eyes.

"I think you mean Shakespearean tragedy, Danno," Steve corrected him with a smirk.

"Eh, Romeo and Juliet, whatever," Danny said with a dismissive wave. "Wait, she's not wearing a ring."

Steve sighed. "I know. I haven't given it to her yet."

"Huh? Why the hell not?"

"Honestly? I didn't give it to her when I proposed because I hadn't planned it and didn't have the ring on me. And then I had… other things," he smirked at his partner's grimace, "to keep me occupied. I was going to give it to her the next morning, make a big deal with breakfast in bed, but then we got called out so early. And I want to be able to get down on one knee, and well…" he waved his hand over his injured leg.

"Right," Danny said. "So, what happened to all the methodical, obsessive, operational planning from last time? You what? Just threw it out the window?" he asked with far too much glee.

Steve smiled. "Pretty much, yeah. I'd been thinking about it but didn't have anything in the works. Then we were out on the beach and I just knew I wanted to do it then."

"Good for you!" Danny clapped his hands. "However you did it, let me just say that it's about damn time." Steve nodded in agreement. "So, you gonna use the same ring?"

"Yeah. I thought about it and it took me a long time to choose it and I really want her to wear it. She's never seen it, so…."

"Right, right," Danny agreed. "You got it here somewhere? You want to show me?"

Steve was surprised. "Uh, yeah. It's in the uh, garage. In my dad's toolbox." He nodded slowly, considering something. "Actually… yeah… that works," he said.

"You wanna clue me in?" Danny asked.

Steve returned his gaze to his partner. "You mind grabbing it for me? On the workbench. It's in the, uh, top compartment."

"Yeah, sure." Danny stood. "I'll be right back."

He entered the house and Steve heard him speaking to Charlie before the door closed behind him. A few minutes later he was back, the small box in his hand. He handed it to Steve who held it reverently for a moment before opening it and handing it back to Danny.

Danny whistled under his breath. "Nice, buddy. _Very_ nice."

Steve nodded. "I hope she'll like it."

"You kidding me?" Danny huffed. "She's gonna love this. No question."

He closed the lid and held it out to Steve but his partner didn't take it. "Actually, why don't you hang on to that. I was hoping you could do me a favor."

"Sure babe, what do you need?"

"Can you, uh, take it to get checked out and cleaned up?"

"Yeah, of course. You have somewhere particular you want me to go?"

Steve nodded. "Kamaka's, downtown. Tell him it's for me, I'm sure he'll remember it."

"You got it, man." Danny told him. "I get to be the best man, right?"

Steve laughed, "Yeah, Danno. You do."

* * *

 _A/N: They just can't catch a break, can they? I feel like Steve is more at peace with this departure, though, maybe because knowing Catherine will be his wife as soon as possible calms and centers him._


	22. Chapter 22

_We are almost to the end of this story, there is only one more chapter after this one. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this from the beginning - I can't find the words to express how much I've appreciated all your positive feedback and support for this story. I honestly can't believe it's almost finished and am very sad to be wrapping it up so soon._

 _I know we have the start of the new season to look forward to and I hope we'll get to see some of Catherine this year, but if not we'll always have fan fiction, right? I hope you'll enjoy this chapter - there is a bit more foul language than usual and an expletive you'll have to imagine because I didn't spell it out. I hope nobody will be offended by either._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 22

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Wednesday, late November, 1809 hours**

Steve was in one of the old wooden chairs by the water wishing Catherine was there with him. She'd been gone for a month, he'd had absolutely no communication with her and, as his partner had so eloquently put it, he was climbing the walls. Knowing they were going to get married as soon as possible once she got back was both a blessing and a curse. He'd been trying to make some inroads into the basics of planning, but without knowing a date couldn't accomplish much. He looked forward to the promises they were going to make to each other and was anxious for her to get home. Now that they were finally engaged he found he could hardly wait to be her husband.

But he kept recalling Danny's words about how they'd been engaged for merely hours before he'd suffered what could potentially have been a near-fatal gunshot wound. If this really were a Shakespearean tragedy some sort of disaster would probably have to befall Catherine before they could get their happily ever after and that wasn't sitting well with him.

She'd missed Thanksgiving. They'd planned to have everyone over to their place but Steve just didn't feel up to it without her there so Lou and Renee had graciously stepped up and hosted the meal. He was realizing Christmas was just around the corner and wondering if she'd make it back in time when his phone rang. Seeing the unknown number, he answered it quickly.

"Hello?"

" _Hey, sailor."_

He sighed "Cath. I was just thinking about you and worrying because I hadn't heard from you. Everything okay?"

" _Yes, everything is fine. I'm not hurt and there were no hiccups. But I want to know how you're doing – how's your recovery going? And are you feeling okay?"_

"I'm fine, Cath. Really. There have been no issues. I made it to all my scheduled appointments and was cleared fully for duty a couple weeks ago," he told her. "I miss you, though. So much. Do you know when you're coming home?"

" _Um… that's actually why I'm calling."_

The smile dropped from Steve's face. "What's going on?"

" _I'm at Langley and I don't have time to come to Hawaii before I have to leave again."_

Steve sat up in his chair. "All right, well then I'll come to you. I'll check flights—"

" _I leave again in the morning,"_ she told him sadly.

"When? I can probably be there in like 12 hours."

She sighed. " _I leave in eight."_

Steve didn't reply, he just sat back in his chair and closed his eyes.

" _I'm sorry,"_ she told him sadly. " _I wanted to call you sooner, but they rushed me into the debrief and we just finished."_ She was quiet for a moment. " _But_ ," she said, hopefully, _"it looks like we're getting close to wrapping up this op."_

Steve nodded. "That is good news. Any idea how long 'til you're home next time?"

" _Maybe another month_?" she said, tentatively.

He groaned. "I just… I really want you to come home."

" _I know. I miss you, too, and I wish I could be there with you right now. Are you at the office?"_

"No, I got home about half hour ago."

" _You sitting on the beach_?" she asked.

He chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah I am."

" _I'd love to be there. I miss that view."_

"Hey, hold on a second," he told her and held the phone out so he could take a photo and text it to her. He waited a moment, until he was sure it had gone through then told her, "You should check that message."

" _Okay,"_ she replied, drawing out the word. " _Oh,"_ she said softly when she had seen the photo. _"Thank you."_

"You're welcome. Now you can pretend you're here instead of some stuffy room somewhere," he told her. "Hey is there snow on the ground there?"

" _Actually, there is."_

"Well then you really need my view," he teased.

" _Yeah, I do,"_ she laughed. " _But I need you more,"_ she told him, her voice more serious. " _Always remember that I'd rather be there with you if I could."_

"I will, Cath." They were both quiet for a moment and he heard her fail to stifle a yawn. "As much as I'd love to keep talking with you, it sounds like you need to get some sleep."

" _No,"_ she insisted, " _I'm okay. Tell me about Thanksgiving. Did you have everyone over?"_

"No, actually Danny and the kids and I went to Lou's for dinner. Then Danny hosted a little party on Saturday so Chin and Kono could see everyone."

" _Oh,"_ she said sadly. " _I would have loved to see them – it's been months."_

"I know. They asked about you, too. Asked me to send their love."

" _Please send mine the next time you talk to them, okay?"_

"Absolutely," he assured her.

They were both quiet for a moment.

"Cath," he asked, hesitatingly, "if you're gone for another month… Are you going to be home for Christmas?"

She sighed. " _I don't know,"_ she replied, softly. " _I'm sorry—_ " she said, before her voice broke on a soft sob.

"Oh, Cath, please don't cry," he pleaded, "it just makes it worse that I can't be there with you. Listen," he said, with forced cheerfulness, "We'll plan the wedding when you get back. And if you can't be here for Christmas we'll have our own celebration later. Whenever it works out. We've done that plenty of times before and it'll be great, I promise you."

" _Yeah, we can_ ," she took a deep breath. " _We can definitely do all of that."_

"And we will," Steve promised. "Just as soon as we can."

* * *

 **Five-0 Headquarters  
** **Thursday, 2 weeks later, 1305 hours**

Steve was on the phone with Danny, who was in New Jersey with Melissa for the wedding of one of her childhood friends.

"Say hello to your parents when you see them, all right?" Steve said.

" _Yeah, I'll send them your love,"_ Danny teased.

"Thanks, man," Steve said, distractedly.

" _Hey, Steve, you feeling alright?"_

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

" _I dunno, you just seem a little off."_

"No, I'm okay. I guess I'm just a little on edge, it's just a feeling, but… I don't know."

 _"What kind of feeling?"_ His partner immediately shifted into mother-hen mode. _"You need to see the doctor?"_

"No, not like that. Something in my gut."

" _You worried about Catherine?"_

"Always," Steve said. "I guess that could be part of it."

 _"Hold on…"_ Danny said and Steve could hear him speaking to someone in the background. _"Hey, I gotta go. You're sure you're alright?"_

"Yeah, Danny. I'm fine, I promise." Steve reassured his partner. "Have a good time at the whatever-it-is-you're-doing party."

 _"Rehearsal dinner, Steven. You know perfectly well it's the rehearsal dinner."_

"Right, right, rehearsal dinner," Steve teased. "You go have fun, now."

"And you can— 'Oh, hey doll. Yeah, I'm coming right now'," Steve heard his partner say then, "Goodbye Steven," before he disconnected the call.

He chuckled and said, "Goodbye, Daniel," even though he knew his partner couldn't hear him.

When the phone rang ten seconds later Steve's smile faded when he glanced at the caller ID and saw it was Joe White. He felt his gut clench as he answered the call.

"Joe?" He got right to the point. "Hey. It's been a long time."

 _"Yeah it has._ _Are you somewhere you can talk?"_

"Yeah. Something happen with Doris?"

" _No, Son, not Doris. Uh, Catherine."_

"Cather-" Steve's heart was pounding and he felt like he couldn't take a deep breath. "What happened? She's not…"

 _"No, not as far as I know."_ Joe assured him quickly _. "Scuttlebutt is her team missed their extraction and are considered missing."_

"How long?" Steve asked, his training taking over. He stood, ready to do whatever he needed to get her back.

" _I don't exactly—"_

"Joe! How long!"

 _"A week, best I can figure."_

"No, no, no, no, no." Steve closed his eyes. The woman he loved, the woman who would be his wife, had been missing for a week and he was just now finding out about it. He refused to consider the idea she could be dead, but it kept trying to force its way into his subconscious.

 _"But something could have changed,"_ Joe continued, _"this intel is days old."_

"Where? Where are they?" Steve all but yelled.

 _"I don't know for sure, but my money's on Afghanistan."_

Steve muttered an expletive.

"Who's your source?" When Steve's question was met with silence he grew even more frustrated. "Joe, who's your source? Is it my mother?"

 _"Indirectly. She got a message to me, but she's off the grid now."_

"I need you to get me into the country, Joe."

 _"And how do you expect me to do that?"_

"I don't know! Goddamn it, figure it out!"

 _"Steve._ _You need to stop and take a breath._ _Think about this. I'm not even sure that's where they are. And if I can even get you back in the country, and that's a big if, it's a CIA op, Son."_

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead with his hand. "Yeah," he said quietly, dropping heavily into his desk chair. "I can't just sit here. I have to do something. There has to be something..."

 _"Right now, you need to stay positive. The mission is not being abandoned. They're looking… and they_ _ **will**_ _find them. You just have to trust in that."_

"I don't know how to do this, Joe."

 _"Do what?"_

"Be on the sidelines," Steve replied, defeat evident in his tone.

 _"You don't have to be – call in every favor you're owed with anyone who might have intel or be able to put boots on the ground. And try to do something to stay busy – keep working. I'm going to keep reaching out and I'll keep you posted."_

"Thank you. It… means a lot. She's… They have to find her, Joe," Steve said quietly. Because the alternative was unacceptable.

 _"Hang in there, Son."_

"Yeah," Steve replied before terminating the call.

Steve sat behind his desk and dropped his head into his hands. His mind was swimming. Last time he'd known for a fact Catherine's life had been in danger there had been something he could do about it, actions he could take. But this? There were no doors to kick in, no suspects to interrogate.

He looked up at a gentle knock on the door and Lou poked his head in. "Hey, man? You okay? That must have been quite a call."

"Yeah, Lou, I, uh…" he closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "It's Catherine. She missed her extraction and there's no word. It's been a week and they've-" he took another deep breath, trying to get the words out, "they've classified her as missing in action."

"My God." The big man dropped into one of the guest chairs and looked heavenward for a moment. He took a deep breath before refocusing on his friend. "When do you leave?"

Steve rubbed his hand across his forehead. "I can't. I, I wouldn't know where to go. I don't even know for sure what country she's in," he admitted.

"But where do you _think_ she is?"

"Middle East. Afghanistan."

"So, what do you wanna do?"

Steve was silent for a moment, weighing his options. "I'm gonna see if I can call in some favors, but I…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

Lou nodded. "I think that's the smart play. I'm not gonna ask how you're doing because I know this is tearing you up. That the only thing you can think about right now is hopping on a plane and beating down doors until you find her. And not being able to do that is killing you."

Steve nodded. "Yeah," he admitted so softly Lou only saw his mouth form the word.

"We got your back, whatever you need."

"Thanks, Lou."

"Listen, you wanna talk, I'll listen. Anytime."

"I know. I need to make some calls now."

Lou stood to leave then turned back. "Deep down, what does your gut tell you?"

Steve closed his eyes for a moment before answering. "That she's alive," he said, with a confidence he wasn't sure he felt.

"Good, you hold on to that. Make your calls."

Steve picked up his phone while Lou exited to the bullpen and immediately placed a call to Danny. The blonde offered to come home on the first flight but after some discussion they both agreed it would be better for him to stay put, although Lou had to promise constant updates. Then he texted the remainder of the team who were up on the North Shore chasing down a lead. He told them to head home afterwards, that he and Steve would be leaving HQ as soon as they could.

* * *

An hour later Lou, who had been covertly watching Steve through the glass walls of the office while pretending to work noticed Steve had put his phone down and sat back with his hands over his face. The man, normally such a force to be reckoned with, looked beat down, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and he couldn't handle the burden.

He knocked once before entering. "You ready to get out of here?"

"And go where, Lou?" Steve asked sharply, then closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I just…"

"You feel like if you leave you're giving up? Not true. You've done what you can do for now. If anything pans out you're reachable on your cell, right?" Steve nodded. "We're gonna head over to the range and then I'm gonna take you home."

"I'm not a child, Lou."

"I know that. You're just a friend of mine who's in a bad place right now and might not want to go home alone."

Steve blew out a breath. "Okay. Thank you. But not the range, there's other things-"

Lou interrupted. "What other things you gotta do? Seems to me you need something to shoot at and a practice target's the best we got right now."

A hint of a smile ghosted over Steve's lips before quickly fading into the scowl that would remain until Catherine was home safe and sound.

* * *

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **1810 hours**

Steve had gotten some of his frustrations out with his handgun and a rifle before he and Lou returned to the beach house. Lou called for a pizza and grabbed a couple beers while Steve went immediately to sit by the ocean. He was watching the ebb and flow of the tide when he heard Grover come up behind him and appreciated that the big man handed him a beer and silently settled in, waiting for Steve to take the lead.

"Maybe I'm being punished," Steve finally said quietly.

"How do you figure?" Lou asked gently.

Steve shook his head. "We've already lost so much time. I look at your family – your wife and your kids… and I think I want that. But shit keeps getting in our way. Two years ago I was ready to propose and she had to leave, and I wasn't willing to wait for her. Then I finally propose and I got shot the next day. And we only had a few days together before she left again. Now…" he trailed off. "I've been, uh, wondering if I made a mistake."

"Mistake?"

"Yeah, thinking we might really be able to live happily ever after." He took a long draw on his beer. "Must've pissed off some higher power."

Lou tipped his head in acknowledgement. "Maybe. But do you really believe that?"

"I don't know. It's like we just can't catch a break."

"Hmmmm. Yeah, I can see how you'd think that. Kinda like you're being tested, right?"

Steve nodded in silent acknowledgement.

"There are going to be tests. Marriage ain't all sunshine and roses. There are probably going to be times when you wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just throw in the towel. But you gotta ride those out – get through to the other side. I think the reason so many marriages fail today is because people give up too easily. It's gonna get hard sometimes, your commitment to each other will be tested. But if you stick it out, you'll come through it even stronger." He shifted in his chair. "Renee thought about leaving me once," he admitted, frankly.

"What? When?"

"Years ago. I didn't find out about it 'til after – when we back on solid ground. It was after the incident in Chicago. I checked out, man, I was a crappy husband for a while. Wouldn't talk about it, just let it eat at me, became a shell of myself. And she told me it got to a point when she had just about decided that it would be better to leave, to move on with her life. But then something happened, I don't even remember what, but she said it made her realize I was still in there and she couldn't give up until she did everything she could to help me fight my way back. Lot of people woulda just given up, got a divorce. But she didn't and helped me get through it. We passed that test.

Anyone with eyes can see how much you love Catherine, and how much she loves you. And besides, you ever actually failed a test in your entire life?" He let that statement hang for a moment before changing the subject. "It's gonna be at least an hour for the pizza, guy said they're busy tonight. But how 'bout I get us some more beer?"

Steve nodded. "Thanks, Lou."

The big man rose, gathered the empty bottles and headed toward the house.

Steve sat for a few minutes, staring at the ocean and trying to draw strength from it until the ringing of his cell phone got his attention. He sat bolt upright when he saw Joe's name on the caller ID.

"Joe, do you have an update? Did they find Catherine?"

" _Catherine… and… sorry... you… intel…"_

The connection was terrible but he'd distinctly heard Catherine's name. "Say again," Steve exclaimed. "What about Catherine?"

" _Steve? Hear me… bad intel…_ _days… dead..."_

Steve's heart dropped as bile rose in his throat. Catherine couldn't be dead. He'd feel it. Wouldn't he?

* * *

 _A/N: I know I spared you the cliffhanger a few days ago, but this one is going to have to stand until I post the next chapter tomorrow. Don't worry, it's not over quite_ _yet._


	23. Chapter 23

_Here is it, the last chapter. This has been a long journey for me, so finally posting the ending is a little bittersweet. As I prepare to post this I am definitely feeling some unanticipated sadness that this story will be finished, but this is where this particular chapter in Steve and Catherine's lives needs to come to a close._

 _I can't thank everyone enough for reading, and for those of you who reviewed and/or sent me private messages, thank you also for your amazing support. It's been a crazy ride and I really, really hope you'll like the way it ends._

* * *

 **Endgame  
** Chapter 23

 **McGarrett/Rollins Residence  
** **Thursday, mid-December, 2012 hours**

Steve held his phone to his ear, unwilling to believe what he thought he'd just heard Joe White say.

"No," he shook his head. "No, not Catherine. She can't be… Say again, Joe. Say again… please," he said, begging. "Tell me she's not dead! She can't be…" he trailed off, and hung his head but there was silence on the line and then he heard the tone that signaled a dropped call.

He couldn't breathe. He'd definitely heard the words 'Catherine' and 'dead'. But he wasn't willing to accept it. He'd know if she was dead. He'd feel it in his soul, and he didn't. It had been a bad connection and he had to confirm. His hands were shaking as he tried to dial. He took a deep breath to try and steady himself.

The call went immediately to voicemail, so Joe probably had a bad signal, but Steve didn't care. The tone of his voice made clear there was no room for argument. "Joe. Call me ASAP and repeat your last. It sounded like you said Catherine was…" he trailed off, unable to speak the word aloud. "Just call me, Joe. ASAP."

He disconnected the call and took several deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart. He heard the sound of Lou calling to him from the house but paid it no heed. He told himself he'd only heard snippets of the conversation and couldn't jump to conclusions. But even the idea of Catherine never coming home… he closed his eyes against the tears there were threatening to fall. "No," he said aloud to himself and opened his eyes. "She's alive, she has to be."

He was just preparing to dial Joe once more when he heard Lou call again, this time more urgently.

He had no idea what Grover needed, but trusted the man and his tone of voice said it was important so he rose from the chair and headed toward the house.

* * *

As Lou entered the house and made his way toward the kitchen he noticed movement outside. Immediately on alert he put down the bottles he carried, drew his weapon and crept to the window only to see Catherine, leaning on Doris as she hobbled her way toward the house.

Lou holstered his weapon and shouted out toward the open lanai door. "Steve!" He waited a moment and called again, "Steve! Get in here!"

He moved to the door and opened it for the women, leaning down to gently embrace the Catherine. "You are a sight for sore eyes, let me tell you," he told her sincerely and she stepped back, confusion etched on her face. "Joe White called a few hours ago and said you'd been missing in action for a week," he explained. "Steve's been-"

He was interrupted by Steve's arrival at the lanai door. "Lou, what the hell's going on, I'm-" he called out but broke off and quickened his steps when he heard voices inside.

As he walked through the dining room he saw the most beautiful sight in the world. Somehow, Catherine was standing in their living room.

"Cath?" he whispered, unable to move for just a moment before he quickly closed the space between them and gently pulled her into his arms. He closed his eyes at the warmth that rushed through him while he held her. "You're really here," he said into her hair.

"I'm really here," she replied just as quietly.

After a minute, he pulled back enough to place a tender kiss on her lips and to search her face. "Joe told me you were missing. Are you okay?" he asked, looking over what he could see of her. He had noticed her right ankle was encased in a sturdy brace and immediately knelt to cradle it.

She waited patiently while he fussed. "It looks worse than it is," she told him gently. "I'm okay."

He finished examining her ankle and started checking her over closely, cataloging her visible cuts and bruises.

"Are you sure? Because it looks pretty bad," he said with a frown, still looking closely at a wound on her forehead that had been closed with medical glue.

"Hey," she said to get his attention and waited until he stopped what he was doing and focused on her. "I'm sure. It's just a bad sprain and some bruised ribs."

"Ribs? Which side?" He didn't wait for an answer before lifting one side of her shirt then the other to locate then examine the large, multi-colored bruise decorating her flank.

"There's a bandage here," he said, reproachfully.

She sighed. "It's just a graze, it barely even bled."

"I doubt that," he told her while ghosting his hand over the injury. "Stitches?"

She sighed. "Yes."

"How many?" he asked, looking up at her.

"Ten," she finally admitted.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

She sighed again. "I have a mild concussion."

He stood. "A concussion? Cath—"

She interrupted his scolding "It's okay. I'll have a headache for a few days and be sore for a couple weeks, but everything will heal."

"But what if there's internal bleeding, Cath, you can't—"

She stopped him by taking his face gently in her hands and looking him in the eyes. "Steve. I've been checked over thoroughly. At a hospital. By doctors. I promise." She looked away to glance over at Doris. "Right?"

Doris smiled, having stood quietly with Lou while she enjoyed watching her son fuss over the woman he loved. She stepped closer. "Yes," she told him. "I was there and I can confirm there were doctors. She was released and given the okay to fly, so here we are."

Steve exhaled then leaned down to press his forehead gently against Catherine's.

"I'm sorry. I just can't stand seeing you hurt."

"I know," she told him. "And I love you for wanting to always protect me."

He pulled her back into his arms. "I love you, too," he told her softly.

"Hey, what about me?" Doris said lightly.

Not willing to let go of Catherine yet, Steve shifted just enough to open one arm to Doris and she stepped in. "Hi, Mom," he told her as he hugged her. "Thanks for bringing her home."

"You're welcome, honey," Doris said with a smile.

Steve released his mother and turned his attention to Catherine. "You need to put that leg up," he told her. "Can I carry you without hurting you?"

"Yes, but I can—" she broke off as Steve lifted her effortlessly in his arms and carried her to the sofa, setting her down gently. He placed a throw pillow on the coffee table and gently situated her injured leg on it, adjusting until he was happy with the placement.

Lou, who had been observing quietly in the shadows, stepped forward. "Hey, Steve. I think I'm gonna take off. Catherine, I can't tell you how good it is to see you home safe and sound." He stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You two let me know if you need anything."

Steve moved to pull Lou into a half-hug, half-handshake before slapping him on the back. "Thanks man. For everything," he said quietly.

"No problem. The pizza's still coming and I'll make the necessary calls so you can just focus on taking good care of her, all right?"

"You know I will."

"Doris, good to see you again," Grover said to Steve's mother.

"You too, Lou," she replied with a smile.

Steve walked the big man to the door. "Say 'hello' to Renee and the kids, okay?"

"Will do," he replied. "I'm guessing you won't be in tomorrow?"

"Not unless it's absolutely necessary," Steve said, and the look he flashed the other man conveyed that 'absolutely necessary' equaled 'the world better literally be ending'. "But call if you need to."

"You got it," Lou said to Steve then called out "Night, all!"

Steve returned to the sofa and settled in next to Catherine. He turned toward her and, cradling her face pressed his lips to hers in a kiss full of love and longing. Given that his mother was five feet away he pulled back after several seconds but just far enough to gaze into Catherine's brown eyes.

"Hi," she told him with a smile. "I missed you."

He smiled in return before kissing her temple and entwining their fingers. "I missed you, too." Then he sighed, suddenly all business. "What the hell happened, Cath?" he said, keeping his tone as gentle as he could. "Joe said you went missing a week ago but the agency wouldn't talk to me."

"The op went sideways and our exfil was compromised," she told him. "The rest of the team made the helo but I… didn't."

"Your team left you?" Steve asked with a dangerous edge in his voice.

She squeezed his hand. "No, I made a choice, they didn't have an option."

He looked at her quizzically. "You made a… I don't understand."

"I took a risk and it paid off," she said.

"You put yourself at risk? Why would—"

"I had a decision to make," she told him, interrupting him before he got too worked up. "The safer option would have been to get on the helo but we would have lost the HVT. The risky option was to grab him up and that's what I chose. I took the risk and it paid off."

"So…." Steve cocked his head, starting to understand. "You got your guy, then?"

"Yes." Her smile rivaled the sun. "But it's more than that. I'm done."

He leaned back and looked at her curiously. "You're done? With the op?"

She shook her head. "With the agency, Steve. I'm out."

"Out, out?"

"Yup," she said, popping the 'p'. She grinned. "You're stuck with me because I'm never leaving you again."

His smile practically split his face. "Really?" he asked, incredulously, then turned his attention to his mother. "Mom?"

Doris nodded, thrilled at his joy. "She's out. No fake car accidents needed. I hold enough cards that I was able to make a deal. If she finished the op they'd let her go." She shrugged. "The op is over so she's out. You two can go on with your lives."

He looked at Catherine questioningly. "So, the choice you made…"

She nodded. "I didn't want to spend any more time away from you. I wanted to come home. And now I have."

He pulled Catherine into his arms, unable to get a handle on his raging emotions. She'd put her life on the line for him and their life together. Part of him wanted to be angry with her for taking the risk because it could have gone the other way. But, he knew it didn't matter now. He was just immensely grateful she was home safe and done with the CIA, permanently.

He held her close and took a deep breath to center himself before gently releasing her and standing, moving to the chair where Doris sat and offering his hand.

She took it and stood and he pulled her into a hug which she happily reciprocated.

"Thank you," he said, quietly.

"You're welcome," she told him, sincerely.

The embraced for a moment longer until he pulled away. "Wait, is it even safe for you to be out in the open?" he asked her, concerned.

"It's fine, Steven," she told him, patting his back. "Yao is tucked away somewhere safe and if I don't check in as scheduled he'll rain hell down on the agency. And they know it. So, they won't touch me." She stepped away. "But I should probably get going."

"You just got here," Steve complained.

"I know, but I don't want to push my luck. But I'll be back as soon as I can, someday for good," she told him.

"Okay." He smiled to show he believed her. "You need a ride?"

"No, I've got one. But thank you."

Doris stepped over to Catherine and leaned down to gently hug her goodbye.

"Bye, Doris. Thank you," the younger woman said sincerely. "For _everything_."

Doris straightened up and placed her hand on Catherine's shoulder. "You're welcome, honey. Just promise me you'll make my son happy."

Catherine smiled. "I will."

Doris turned back to Steve and asked, "Will you walk me out?"

He looked at Catherine. "Will you be okay here? I'll just be a couple minutes."

"I'll be fine," she told him with a smile. "I'll just sit here and listen to the ocean. I missed it."

"Do you have your phone?" Steve pressed.

"You'll just be outside," Catherine pointed out gently and Steve just gazed at her, patiently waiting for her answer. She gingerly pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Yes, I have my phone," she told him, not aggravated in the least by how protective he was being.

He watched her with an appraising eye for a moment, satisfied that she would be all right sitting on the sofa alone. He nodded. "You'll call me if you need me?"

"Steve, seriously," she said, her words softened by her beaming smile. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself for a few minutes."

"Okay," he told her, stepped closer and bent for a lingering kiss, not really wanting to leave her, even for just a short time. "I'll be right back."

He held the door open for his mother and then followed her out. He was about to ask her again if she needed a ride but then noticed a black SUV in the driveway. Once they reached it she pulled him in for another hug and then stepped back to look at him. "Ooh, so handsome," she said, pinching his cheek like he was four years old.

He laughed and shook his head.

"Promise me you'll invite me to the wedding," she told him.

His face registered his surprise. "How did you— Did Catherine tell you?"

She smiled. "Mothers know these things," she said before she opened the door and climbed in. "But Steven, get the girl a ring."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I've already got one, Mom."

"Good," Doris replied. "Bye, honey. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mom." He told her before she pulled the door shut and the vehicle drove away. He watched it go for just a moment before turning and heading back inside. He and Catherine had months of lost time to make up for and a future together to start planning.

* * *

They did invite Steve's mother to the wedding but she chose not to attend in order to keep the attention on the happy couple rather than the groom's back-from-the-dead mother. But she sent Joe with a gift for them and a request for lots of photos and videos.

They had a small ceremony in the backyard on New Year's Eve with close friends and family in attendance. Catherine's parents flew in as well as Steve's sister Mary and her daughter Joanie. Chin and Kono came back to the island with their families, because they would always be ohana.

Steve, resplendent in his dress whites, stood in a small gazebo, fidgeting. Danny, standing to Steve's left watched his partner and grinned. Some might think the man was nervous but Danny knew it was only the anticipation. He had to remind himself that this was real. That his best friend, who had suffered so much in his life, had finally gotten to this place. Danny no longer had any doubts about Catherine; she and Steve truly were a perfect match for each other.

He took a deep breath, remembering a conversation he'd had with his partner when the other man had admitted he and Catherine were willing to fake their deaths together if necessary to escape the CIA. The reality of that had hit Danny hard, so he appreciated even more that it would not be necessary and his friends could move forward with the lives.

Danny glanced down at his son, standing at his feet, and his daughter, just exiting the house to begin her walk down the aisle. He turned slightly to glance over his left shoulder at Chin and Lou, who were standing with him on Steve's side of the aisle on this most important occasion. They were celebrating more than just Steve and Catherine's wedding. This was the first time in months that their entire Five-0 ohana had been together on the island because none of them would have missed this for the world.

Kono followed Grace out of the house and started down the aisle with a beaming smile on her face. She was ecstatic for her friends to finally be able to be together without any barriers to their happiness between them. She knew firsthand how devastating it could be to be forced to spend time away from the person you loved and wouldn't wish it on anybody, especially not two people who deserved more than anyone to be happy.

Chin watched Kono come toward them and thought about family. He recalled knowing Steve as a carefree teen back when his family had still been intact, and how much the man had changed when they met for the second time after Steve returned to the island following his father's death. His friend had come so far since then, opening himself up again and Chin knew Catherine was a big part of the transformation. He could not be happier to see these two finally getting their happy ending and regretted that neither of Steve's parents could be present. He believed, without a doubt, that John McGarrett was somewhere, watching the ceremony with a smile on his face. But he didn't expect what he saw out of the corner of his eye when he glanced to his left, over the faces of those in attendance and caught a glimpse of Doris, discretely watching from near the corner of the house. He met her eyes and tilted his head in acknowledgement before returning his attention to the processional.

Mary Ann stepped off the lanai, holding firmly to her daughter Joan's hand and following Kono down the aisle. Joan held a basket with flower petals that she dropped in handfuls as they walked; Mary looked down at her for a moment then up at her brother. She couldn't hide her smile at the look of contentment on his face. She was thrilled for him; they had both been so damaged by the 'loss' of their mother and abandonment of their father; to finally see Steve making a lifelong commitment to the woman he loved filled her with joy, and hope that she may someday have that as well. Plus, she mused, she was also gaining an amazing sister-in-law.

Lou caught a glimpse of white near the house and knew Catherine would be appearing shortly. He flashed back to a few short weeks ago when they'd been faced with the reality that she was missing in action. Steve had been truly lost, something Lou had never witnessed. He'd needed to keep it together, to provide a calm presence and guiding hand for his friend, but he'd been unsettled by the reality that losing Catherine would devastate Steve. He's seen it firsthand and realized it was something the former Navy man may never have recovered from. He shook his head slightly and glanced out at his wife Renee. They locked eyes and shared a small smile, both of them thrilled to be in attendance for this momentous occasion in their friends' lives.

As Mary and Joan reached the end of the aisle Steve beamed at his sister and his niece before they took their positions to his right. He took a deep breath, knowing it would be only moments now before Catherine would come into view. The music swelled and he caught his first glimpse of his bride as she appeared at the end of the aisle. His breath caught at the vision she made in a simple but elegant long, white dress, with her hair in a loose knot, a flower tucked behind her left ear and a small bouquet of colorful, local flowers across her arm. He knew she was escorted by both her mother and father but he didn't even really see them because once he locked eyes with Catherine he was unable to look anywhere else.

Upon seeing her groom Catherine's beautiful face blossomed into a smile which grew with each step she took. Once she reached him she handed off her bouquet to Kono in a rush, barely able to wait for Steve to shake her father's hand before finally joining hands with her.

The Navy Chaplain, Pastor Carmichael, nodded to the couple and spoke to the audience welcoming them and speaking briefly about the occasion for which they had gathered, its importance and the significance to Steve and Catherine.

Neither the bride nor the groom heard a word that was said, though, as they were focused solely on each other. Their surroundings, the other people in attendance all fell away as they were lost in the feel of the other's hand in theirs and the look of complete devotion in the other's eyes.

The spell was broken as Pastor Carmichael softly cleared his throat. They both looked at him as he smiled and tilted his head in silent question, asking if they were ready to begin. Steve nodded discretely and the officiant turned to Catherine.

"Do you, Catherine, take Steven to be your husband? To share with him completely all that you have and all that you are, to love and be true to him for all the days of your life?"

 _Her husband._ Catherine felt as though she were in a dream. Was this real? Was she finally going to marry the man she had loved for as long as she could remember? She had been forced to walk away from him, from the love they shared and it had been the hardest thing she had ever done.

But this… this was the easiest. Steve made her so incredibly happy and there was no doubt in her mind that this is where they were meant to be.

"I do," she answered without hesitation as she gazed deeply into Steve's eyes and saw her feelings of love reflected back in them. She squeezed his hands as her smile lit her face like the sun.

The chaplain turned slightly toward Steve.

"Do you, Steven, take Catherine to be your wife? To share with her completely all that you have and all that you are, to love and be true to her for all the days of your life?"

 _His wife_. Once upon a time that idea had terrified him. But Catherine had come into his life and he'd started thinking 'maybe someday'. Over the years he'd become committed to her, but unwilling to formalize it. Then two and a half years ago he'd finally been ready to be her husband, until his world had come crashing down around him. He would have told you that it just wasn't meant to be, because he couldn't imagine ever marrying another. But, despite all that had happened they'd found their way back to each other and their relationship was stronger now than it had ever been.

He couldn't tear his eyes away as he spoke only to the beauty in front of him. "I do," he said, with the smile he reserved only for her.

The chaplain turned to Catherine. "Please confirm your commitment to be married by repeating after me," he said but Catherine, who was so focused on Steve she barely heard the officiant, recited the vows from memory.

"I, Catherine, take you, Steven, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward.

I will share with you all that is to come and support you through the good times and bad," she squeezed his hands and tilted her head just slightly to emphasize her next words, "in sickness and in health."

Catherine released Steve's left hand and lifted her right to his face, cupping his cheek as she spoke, "I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life," she lowered her hand, again grasping Steve's, "and promise to love and cherish you as long as we both shall live."

As Catherine finished speaking the officiant nodded to her and turned to his left, prompting Steve to speak his vows.

Steve stepped closer to Catherine as he recited his vows to her. "I, Steven, take you, Catherine, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward."

As he spoke Steve thought back to all they'd been through in the seven months since Catherine had returned to the island. He'd known back in May that he still loved her and wanted her in his life, but he had been unprepared for how much his feelings would grow and how deep they now ran. She was a part of his soul and he didn't know how he had ever lived without her.

Steve continued, "I will share with you all that is to come and support you through the good times and bad," he paused for a moment to swallow, "in sickness and in health."

He recalled how many times through their lives together she had been there for him. How she was the person who knew him better than anyone else and loved him no matter what. How she had reacted when he told her about the transplant and later about the radiation poisoning. How the possibility of someday caring for him through and losing him to a terminal illness had strengthened her resolve to be with him and get as much as they could of the time they had together.

He gazed at her beautiful face as he completed his vows. "I choose you," he squeezed her hands, "as the person with whom I will spend my life and promise to love and cherish you as long as we both shall live."

And he had chosen her. He'd been with her and without her, through all their ups and downs and through it all she was the only one he wanted, for the rest of his life.

The chaplain observed the bride and groom, aware of nothing but each other as if they didn't realize they were surrounded by friends and family. Hating to interrupt their moment again he paused before continuing with the ceremony.

"Steven and Catherine have chosen to exchange rings as a symbol of their marriage and commitment to each other."

Danny whispered to Charlie who stepped forward, lifting a small wooden bowl. Pastor Carmichael accepted it, nodded his thanks to the boy and removed the larger band.

He turned to his right and extended his open hand for Catherine to take the ring. "Catherine, please place the ring on Steven's finger and repeat after me. 'I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you and my commitment to our marriage.'"

Grasping Steve's left hand, she said, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you and my commitment to our marriage." She slid the ring onto his third finger and he was wholly unprepared for the rush of emotion that flowed through him. He knew the vows, had heard Catherine speak the words and knew what the ring symbolized, but when he felt the weight of the band and looked down at it adorning his finger he was in awe at what it meant to him. And he never, ever wanted to take it off.

She stepped back just enough to smile up at him and his heart swelled. It took all his training to suppress the urge to kiss her then and there. When the officiant turned with his hand extended and prompted, "Steven, place the ring on Catherine's finger and repeat after me," the groom was smiling from ear to ear.

He accepted Catherine's ring and slid it onto her finger until it rested against the diamond solitaire she already wore. He couldn't tear his eyes away from it for a moment as a feeling of utter contentment settled over him. The chaplain cleared his throat quietly and Steve looked up at his bride. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you and my commitment to our marriage." He grasped both her hands and they shared a smile, knowing what was coming next.

"Steven and Catherine, you have pledged your love and faith to each other and sealed your vows in the giving and receiving of rings so it is now my honor to pronounce you husband and wife."

No prompting was needed for the kiss. They stepped towards each other and as their lips met Steve released her hands to pull her into his embrace. He was acutely aware that he was finally kissing his wife, the woman who had captured his heart so thoroughly he would never love another.

Many of the guests present discretely wiped their eyes as they watched two people who were so near and dear to them and had been through so much finally beginning their new life together.

Once upon a time it had seemed that fate was trying to keep them apart. Or maybe everything that had befallen them was a vital component in their pre-determined destiny.

What would their lives be like today if there had never been a kidnapped boy in Afghanistan, a CIA operation in Kiev, a liver transplant or a dirty bomb?

They had loved each other for so long, and would have continued to love each other, no doubt. But now… _now_ they appreciated each other. Appreciated what they had together. It took losing each other to make them finally commit like they needed to. To truly believe in each other and the love they shared.

The bride and groom's lips parted, but they stayed within a hair's breadth of each other. Steve grinned. "You're my wife," he whispered with awe in his voice.

"And you're my husband," Catherine whispered back and kissed him again. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much," he promised and kissed her one more time before grasping her hands once again.

Catherine retrieved her bouquet from Kono and she and Steve turned to face their guests. The chaplain announced, "May I present Mr. and Mrs. Steven McGarrett," and the cheers and applause of the people who meant the most to them surrounded them as they descended the stairs.

Maybe Steve and Catherine were puppets in fate's master plan or maybe they were just two people whose bond was so strong they were bound to find their way back to each other eventually. It didn't really matter. All that mattered in that moment was the two of them, hand in hand and _finally_ embarking upon the lasting happiness they both deserved.

 _End_

* * *

 _A/N: That's it - I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Thank you again so, so much for reading and for your support for this story. I am considering adding on to this at some point, maybe one-shots for different moments in their lives, but I haven't started working on anything as yet, so it won't be right away. I do know that I would post those as a separate story, so if you're following me as an author you should receive notifications. Meanwhile, we have the new season to look forward to - keep your fingers crossed for a McRoll reconciliation in Season 8. Aloha!_


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